[mandazzle]

I feel so stupid. I was so proud to make my last post here, about not cutting for so long. You don't know how proud I was to honestly say that I was finally winning this uphill battle, and that I hadn't cut in a long time. I told my mom I would stop, and believe me I tried. But today was just one of the worst days ever, and I lost. I gave in. And I will admit, it felt good, and I liked it. But the point is, I'm letting so many people down. The only reason why I did it today is because for some reason today was just one of those days. Like, stop the world I want to get off. I didn't even go to school today, I felt so depressed. I'm getting worse and it sucks. I need some opinions on what to do.

[Christina86]

(((((((((mandazzle))))))))))))))

It's okay, I know it doesn't seem like it but it is. You're not letting anyone down, because you tried. That's all any of us can do. You mess up, you get back up and try again... the amount of times I've had to restart to get to my point... absolutely nuts how much I manage to mess up. But you can do it.

Anyone you can talk to? A T? Try to spend some time just trying to love you for who you are and how far you went. That's a good job, it really is.

I'm sorry you're hurting, and I'm sorry it got so bad.

Please take care of you, you're important.

[mandazzle]

I don't have a T at the moment, but I'm working on getting one. I do have someone else I talk to though, and I feel like she's as good as a T sometimes.

[Christina86]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
mandazzle said:
I don't have a T at the moment, but I'm working on getting one. I do have someone else I talk to though, and I feel like she's as good as a T sometimes.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Good to hear... I find that sometimes too, with one of my friends specifically. Anything I can do to help?

[bipolar_bear]

mandazzle you are doing the best you can and that is all you or anyone else can ask. You haven't let anyone down. You had more to cope with than you were ready today. Tommorrow is another start. Please give yourself credit for what you have done.

BB

[mandazzle]

Thanks.
Today is not that much better. I'm at school right now, and I really didn't want to go, but my mom won't let me miss 2 days in a row, plus I've already missed a few days because I went to the hospital so many times. I guess I just need something that will stop me from feeling this way.

[Christina86]

(((((((mandazzle))))))))))