[Lexicon78]

I'm having so much trouble not cutting. I feel it inside of me...I do not want to resist but I must. I'll lose a lot if I cut. I can see and feel the razor cutting...that's all I can do is imagine it. It drives me crazy but the feeling is there.

I know it's wrong, but to me resisting is wrong! I can't bear the pain of my mother being dead and I can't bear the pain of being a severely abused woman! I hate my past...I am dying inside. I just want out...cutting is my only salvation.

[kax25]

Hi Lex
I know how you're feel trying to resist cutting and loosing someone close to you but you have to be strong and you not cutting right now already shows how strong you are .Most people think that it is wrong and disgusting to cut but it is how we,those who SI,cope with our problems. I hope you can get through this.
(((((((many hugs))))))))

Max

[SweetCrusader]

(((((Lexicon))))) Do your best to cope, whatever that means. If you can think of other things to do that might help, go for it! If you cut to get through this, it isn't the end of the world and you can always try to quit later. We all relapse into cutting sometimes. We all get to the end of our rope and feel this is our only choice. If you can get through without cutting, that's great! If not, that's still ok! You just have to do whatever you can to help yourself. I think the most important thing is to be kind to yourself, and it's up to you to define how to do it. I'm so sorry for your pain, and I'm hoping for you that you find your way through it.
Angela