Trying to resist...

I haven't SI'ed now for a month. Now that's not some wonderful achievement for me or anything since I don't SI that regularly anyway... but over the weekend and today I've had stronger urges than in the past couple of weeks. I'm at university and my dad came to visit me and it caused me quite a bit of stress, and the urge is still there today, even stronger than yesterday, and he's not even here now....

it's hard to see the point of resisting. kind of screwed logic, but if I've gone a month, it doesn't matter if i do it again. maybe i won't do it anyway... often when i've had urges to SI, i just havent had the energy to do anything. idk.

im so sorry that your dad's visit prompted so much stress. Maybe you could express those emotions inside here. Tell us what you felt instead of expressing them by destroying your body.

Good idea, virtue. If you don't feel comfortable with that, you could always take your stress and frustration out on *softer* objects... A pillow, punching bag, the bed, etc, etc... Or even just take a jog to clear your mind. Sometimes it helps.

((((((((((silver))))))))))

I've felt the same way with the urges and no energy to carry through. EV has a good point. Maybe the urges will subside if you let out the reasons you feel the urges. I'm always here for you if you need me. Take care of yourself sweety. Be safe, be good.

Ry

((((((((((((((((((silver))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((silver)))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks EV, it's a good suggestion but i have already told some people about how i have been feeling, and it hasn't really helped me, and i dont really feel that comfortable posting about it on here, but thanks anyway

That's also a good suggestion, Bama, but I have found that doing that type of thing just works me up even more, and it's harder for me to calm down afterwards. but, it;s a good idea and it will work for some people.

((((((((Ryan))))))))), thanks for your support.

(((((((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))) thank you

((((((((((((((((((wantto))))))))))))))))) thanks for your continual caring support.

Also, today I have been feeling depressed again. I haven't felt depressed for a while, about a month or so, that was why I managed to get through a month cut-free fairly easily, I didnt feel depressed but instead kind of detached and confused about how i felt. Today though i feel depressed again with the thoughts about SI and suicide back. at least i had some time away from them.

(((((silver queen))))) My best thoughts and prayers go out to you at this difficult time. Its hard enough to deal with SI, depression and suicidal thoughts let alone all three at the same time. Just know you would be missed here in Chat and on the Forums. You are such a pleasure to talk with and you have such good advice and comments to offer. So please take care of yourself and continue resisting. Congrats by the way on no SIing for a month. Wow thats terrific.

((((((((((SILVER)))))))))) I am so sorry you are feeling this way again. I wish I could be like Sam on Bewitched and twinkle my nose and make you all better , in fact do this for all of you. But I cant . You just have to stand for my measley , corny humor .Now quit being a boogerbutt and cheer up will ya? We love you and need you around here! Lots of hugz being sent your way hon. Thinking of you always.

Hugz~
Bethy

thanks (((((((((((((eliza)))))))))))) and (((((((((((beth))))))))))))

Actually, Im pretty pleased because I was talking with somebody in chat today and they were triggering me, and i gave myself a good ole' talk and decided that just because they were triggering me didn't mean I had to take it out on myself and hurt myself, so I resisted

Kick arse silver. I'd pat you on the back but my arms won't reach that far so you'll have to do it for me.

lol ryan, thanks

i'm still resisting today... it's just getting harder... i don't have any particular reason to SI, it's just there ... but still, another day gone without SI

I'm sorry you are struggling hon. It was good chatting with you, hoping things get easier for you soon.....
((((((((((((((((((Silver))))))))))))))))))

I think how you handled being triggered in chat was great silver. Very proud of you.

How are you doing now? I hope that you can talk with someone trusted about your feelings at some point.

I hope you can keep the painful feelings separate from the actions of harming yourself based on other peoples words, suggestions or what have you. I LOVE reading about anyone in SI forum resisting and making it longer and longer each time between active SI. It is nice to read about ppl you care about struggling AND succeeding over something very difficult.

Rootin' for you silver.

Silver, you're doing great. I know the feelings you are describing very well. SI can be an addiction. Sometimes there's no reason but you just feel the urge. I hope that some of the coping techniques we talked about work for you. Just remember that I always have a soft place for you to fall if you ever need it. Be safe sweety.

Ryan

Silver, my dear friend! Just realized I had not responded to this! I thought I had! I'm so sorry

I think it's GREAT that you've been able to resist this. Like I said to someone else earlier this week (BamaSurvivor?) even an hour of resisting an urge is an accomplishment. It is incredibly hard to do, and you are doing so well!


Angela

That's the anti-SI dance. Hope it works for ya. If not, the prayers I'm saying might. Keep it up silver, you're doing well.

Ry

I visited my friend this weekend at her university, and that kept me busy and entertained, as well as greatly reduced my time here on the forums, and so I have had no urges this weekend. So that means I have still not SI-ed!

((((((((((((((((((((((((zh, ryan, angela))))))))))))))))))))))

thanks you guys, y'all are great!

YAY YAY YAY!!! Keep on truckin hun. You're doing great.

Ry

Thanks for the encouragement, ryan! my mood has been better since I visited my best friend this last weekend, and I hope it stays good for a while!