[suzifleshinator]

today i told my best friend everything. she was really scared for me and told me i had to stop. she just doesn't get that i can't just stop like that. that it takes a lot of time. afterwards i didn't feel good at all. i had a terrible feeling in my stomach, and thought about how much i really shouldn't have told her. i also made her promise not to tell anyone, which i'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. so now i don't know what's going to happen. i want help more than ever, but i know telling my mom or sister would be the hardest thing ever. i just can't do it. i'm lost and confused and need someone that understands. please help me.

[Lexicon78]

I've learned that a lot of the time people do not and will not allow themselves to try to understand SI. I've been cutting for almost 15 years so I know the whole lack of understanding bit from others. I know that your friend is very worried about you, but I think that she can be a bit more understanding. That's my opinion. I think by telling others you may get the same reaction you got from your friend. That is their way of coping. Like my bf, he can't handle the fact that I do have this problem. He said he'd break up with me if I did cut, so I know how hard this must be for you.

My cutting is my one true addiction...like an alcoholic you just can't stop. It calls your name...calls your soul. There seems to be nothing more precious than cutting or whatever your form of SI. In the darkest hours there is the comfort of SI. I know that feeling more than anything.

I'm trying not to cut these days. I could lose someone I really care about over it. I'm here if you need someone who's been there...and back.

[SweetCrusader]

((((((Suzi)))) It is SOOO hard to tell people about this. You never know what they will do. If you're anything like me, you don't even know what you WANT them to say or do!! I feel your pain.

Some people just will never understand about si. Some people just need time and lots of education about it. Give your bestfriend some time to deal with her reaction. She is probably scared and confused. She might even feel like it is her fault, like if she had just been there for you, then you wouldn't have done this. The book "Bodily Harm" by Karen Contrerio and Wendy Lader has a section just for loved ones that I think contains some good advice. If you can get ahold of it, maybe you could copy that section and give it to her and ask her to read it. (If you also agree with what it says, that is).

Best of luck to you...
Angela

[Zenobia]

I think that talking about our self injury is an important part of stopping the habit, just like alcoholics go to AA meetings. Unfortunately there isn't anyone we can really talk about it too. The misunderstanding and fear are so strong that to tell someone is to risk our own emotional well being which of course drives us to continue the habit. It is frustrating. Then when you do start talking about it to someone there is the chance that they will say you are using your self injury to manipulate them. Grrrr. I am glad that there are people writing books to help educate the world about this problem. I think with time more people will understand it better and we will be able to be more open about our problem and have a better chance of breaking free. Until then you have us.
You are in my thoughts,
Carrie <font color="purple">