make it stop

When will it stop?
It is every day
The thoughts are always
I can't stop it
I hide it
I hurt
Inside
It's been a long time since a 'period' of this
Small slip-ups along the way
But not the daily 'fix'
Just make me stop
Make it stop somehow

((((((((((((((((sujunew))))))))))))))) I am sorry you are hurting so much. Can you think of another way to cope? Have you tried any of the ideas listed at the top of the forum. I know it is so hard but I hope you find something to help you through. You are strong. Know I am out here listening.

BB

thanks BB
yes, I've tried just about everything...I am even wearing a rubber band on my wrist 24/7, taking anti-anxiety meds etc but the thoughts are overwhelming, always there, even after I have...
I goes thru these phases then stop for a while...an never-ending cycle til I learn better...

((((((((((((((hugs to you!!!!)))))))))

Know we are here and we understand. I hope things arene't quite so hard today.

BB

i wish i could make it stop for you... i am sorry your hurting so much... keep talking k?..lyn

My friend ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

Send me a PM, talk it out. You can do this. Be safe.

(((((sujunew))))))
hugs hugs hugs

((((((((((((( sujunew )))))))))))))

thanks (((((kiya, BB, lyn, christina, paintingravens, fuzzy)))))
I don't really wanna admit to this but things are still the same altho the despair/desparation/hurt has dulled in intensity. I did get thru last nite without doing anything tho, (my meds worked rather well; came here just before and saw a reply I was making to a post...I must have been really affected by the meds coz I have no idea how refs to 'chalk dust' and 'jumping kitties' came to be in the reply lololol . I am sooooo glad I didn't actually post it ). And with or without meds I can't do it tonite- I have to see my med dr tomorrow due to...ummm...some getting...ummm... infected

whooops. well i am glad you are going in to have them treated. yeah i see my MD on monday - and i really hope she doesn't ask about SI since these are not what i want her to see. My t for some reason told MD i was *glad* that I had told her about the SI. What i had really told t was that I was glad the conversation with MD *went well*. BIG difference there.

May the intensity continue to go down and may you start feeling better really soon!!!
(((((((((((lots o hugs))))))))))))))

good luck to you on monday (((((kiya)))))
i am so lucky to have such a wonderful dr. SI is only brought up if that is the reason I am there. Otherwise it is never mentioned. She knows me very VERY well and knows what to ask and when to ask it. But I am nervous about tomorrow. My arm really is a mess now, and while she has seen it in a mess before, that was when I was doing other stuff, not cutting. At least too she knows exactly what stressors are involved already and i know that she will try and find solutions for some of them, so that is really positive...

Kiya

I hope this funds you in a better place today.

Let me know how I can help. Works been busy but you are always on my mind

You have my email right?

Hugs by the truckload
Colleen

(((((((((sujunew))))))))))))
That is really good that your dr is so supportive and understanding!!! I hope you arm's ok!! =( Are you up to date on Tetnus shots n stuff?
Kiya

tetnus:- dunno actually! Dr:- even the nurses are good. When I apologised for the mess my arm is in she told me to "not be silly- they want to help me any time".
Same old same old- I am one of those ppl who is fairly hypocritical. I say the right things but then don't apply them to me...After I SI I prefer to have...nothing more to do with the injury...so basically ignore it. Unfortunately due to other medical conditions I am very prone to infections. One day when I can care better for myself I will...well, I won't have to take more care coz by then I would hopefully not be doing this anyway!!
Thanks everyone.

i am so glad your doctors office is so supportive... i have never told my doctor and don't intend too.., i know that is like going to the mechanic and and wanting him to fix the engine, but not telling them what is wrong with my car... take gentle care...lyn

((((((((sujunew))))))) so nice to have a supportive dr's office!

Take care of yourself!
((((((sujunew))))))))

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
bchlyn said:
i am so glad your doctors office is so supportive... i have never told my doctor and don't intend too.., i know that is like going to the mechanic and and wanting him to fix the engine, but not telling them what is wrong with my car... take gentle care...lyn

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I have noticed that with my 3 'professional' supports I keep what happens with each individual person separte from the others- my t knows hardly anything about my SI or what triggered my memories of SA; until a couple of weeks ago my dr knew nothing about my SA issues; but I guess my nurse is in a better position as I try to keep her a little in the picture! So I have made a conscious desicion that tomorrow when I see my t I open up to her fully about my SI and the SA triggers etc.
Good luck ((((lyn)))), hopefully you can keep yourself safe and not need to say anything...