No other option

I hate days like today! I'm so stressed out over school (accounting and business math classes-I SUCK at math), my sitter quit a while ago so I have to find TIME to get my assignments done, my house always seems to be the last priority so it's almost always messy and cluttered, I haven't washed clothes in a week, my oldest has been sick for two days and my youngest is cutting teeth so he's fussy, my husband thinks everything's okay and I should be happy all the time-he comes home and makes his business calls until well into the night and then falls asleep on the couch, watching tv.

I want nothing more than to hit, cut, shoot something or someone on days like this! My anger and pure rage comes out of me and I can only control it for so long until I explode! And since I'm desperately trying to walk away from fights with my husband, I end up taking all my frustrations out on myself. Usually I overeat, drink, or stay up for days on end, but here lately I just want to cut.

I don't want people to see it, so it would be hard to hide. I just don't know how else to let this anger and frustration out, without hurting someone else in return.

Im so sorry you are being faced with so many challenges!!!!!!! Remember your long range goal.. for health and happiness. Honor your feelings now. Things are difficult so you have the right to nurture yourself in healthy ways. And remember we are here for ya!

I used to have regular attacks of rage. At least once a day something would be broken or slammed or screamed at. Once I got into therapy and was able to express the pain verbally the rage abated. I still have an occasion attack but they have become quite rare. Do you have a therapist who can help you process some of this anger?
Carrie

No, I have a marriage counselor. He's worthless as far as my mental health is concerned. He just focuses on the problems in my marriage.

I use to have a really great therapist, but because I no longer have insurance, I can't afford her.

I am sorry to hear that you have all these things happening to you, and evev worse its all at once. It stinks that just because you dont have insurance you cant go to a therapist. I wish we could all go to one if we needed to. I hope things work out and you feel better. ((((genesis))))

Max

Thanks everyone! I am truly amazed with how friendly and supportive everyone is here!

Yeah, i think that's part of me too. When i get really angry i do it to myself because it isn't acceptable to be angry at others out loud and you sure can't shoot or throw things all the time. i just have to clean it up and then replace it somehow. yeah, taking my anger out on my body, keeping it to myself pretty much, its a lonely life. nona.