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#1
May 27, 2008, 11:26 AM
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I'm not feeling safe, not feeling safe at all.
All I keep thinking about are the knives in the kitchen....the vodka in the freezer. I just want to replace all these bad thoughts with something that numbs, alcohol or self injury..I'm not to choosy at this moment I want to, I want to so bad and noone is here to stop me, noone is home to worry about sneaking around. Why do I hate myself so much? I keep thinking about all the stupid things I have ever done, all the mistakes I have ever made, anyone I have ever hurt. I also keep thinking about my Nana..my dear Nana three years gone, I keep thinking about how the doctors all lied and said she felt no pain..what liars..I watched her suffer behind that steering wheel...how dare they lie to me I was there..I watched it all. I just want this to all go away, too many emotions to handle and I don't feel like dealing with them. I tried writing, drawing, and I still want to..make it stop...please. Trying so hard to stay safe...trying so hard to center..to meditate..to do something that takes me to a safe place..sombody help me.     
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#2
May 27, 2008, 11:41 AM
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   I will sit with you. ((((Silversparrow))))
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://purplebutterfly.psychcentral.net/ |
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#3
May 27, 2008, 06:50 PM
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((((((((((Silversparrow)))))))))))
I know it's over 6 hours later... how are you feeling now? If you need to, can you get out of the house for a while, and away from all of those temptations? I know how hard that is though... anyone you can call, or maybe watch a funny movie, or take a nap? Those sorts of things sometimes help me. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself you don't need to do it. Keep putting it off. 5 minutes, then maybe 10, until you don't feel the urge as much?
__________________
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#4
May 27, 2008, 10:41 PM
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(((Purplebutterfly))) (((Christina86)))
Purplebutterfly thank you so much for sitting with me. Christina, I'm better now, I stayed on PC until I felt safe and I did some deep breathing and centring excerices. Thank you for caring..I stayed out of the kitchen where the knives and vodka was until I felt safe enough. I usually try to go for a walk when I feel like that but it was storming really bad and I couldn't get out of the house. |
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#5
May 27, 2008, 10:58 PM
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Yuck, storms!
(((((((((((Silversparrow))))))))))))))))) Yay! I'm glad you managed to make it through  Good job.
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#6
May 28, 2008, 12:10 PM
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(((((((((((((( Silversparrow ))))))))))))))
__________________
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#7
May 28, 2008, 12:30 PM
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Well done silver for not acting on it. Keep it up hun
babyg xXx
__________________
~ HEY! I run a site on mental health called The Manic Years. I'm looking for some brave souls to share their own personal encounters with mental health. Are you up for sharing your story? Please get in touch on themanicyears@gmail.com. Thank you  ~Follow my blog here; http://themanicyears.com Lola Olivia ~ 7/11/11 ~ my reason for breathing Bipolar Affective Disorder type 2 - (2013) 'Borderline traits' Dissociative episodes |
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#8
Jun 06, 2008, 03:33 AM
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it sounds like you have many options to chose from the right ones and the wrong ones and your right with no one around the choice is yours
__________________
life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breaths away |
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#9
Jun 07, 2008, 02:18 AM
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Hugs to you, silver!!!
((((((((((((((((SilverSparrow)))))))))))))))
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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