I want to take my knife and cut so bad right now. Physical pain beats emotional pain

[Christina86]

((((((((((Vince)))))))))))

No, no no... please don't. I know you're hurting right now, and you have every right to be sad and upset but that isn't going to solve anything. You know that. Cherish the memories you have, even if they hurt right now.

Physical pain might seem better than emotional pain... but as soon as the physical pain starts wearing away, the emotional pain will still be there.

Please hold on. You are loved and cared about here.

At least it distracts from emotional pain for a bit
Sitting at home and a knife seems awfully good company for worthless me

No please Griffe, not the answer, please write out your feelings, everything, anything to take your mind away from hurting yourself ... you ARE NOT worthless, no way never ..... please write, you write wso well, get those emotions out in a poem or just everything you are feeling right now.. Please dont hurt yourself. Noone wants you to do that .... write a story, something, anything to let your sorrow out, but not the knife .... holding you, Kerry xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Christina86]

((((Griffe)))))

You are not worthless. Never have been, never will be.

Feeling crummy does not make you crummy.

Please be safe. Kerry gave some good suggestions about what you can do instead. You can do this.

griffe

you are not worthless

Harming yourself only removes the pain for a bit of time

self care is the best answer

Calling someone. seeking Drs advise
or if needed ER

you are worth so much more

muffy

tried writing a little, thanks for the advice.
it's just so tempting. I did a little but barely any nothing very bad.
don't feel like I'm worth anything. if I was worth something I wouldn't be so stupid

[Christina86]

Why are you stupid? I don't see where you can get that idea from?

I'm glad you managed to control how much you did.

((((Griffe))))))) You are important here.

because I feel weak and stupid and I keep crying I feel like a waste of time to everyone.

[Christina86]

Okay...

You are not weak - you are human. I know guys think that they're not allowed to cry, and if they do then they're wussy or something... totally not true. If it happens, then it happens. And you have an awful lot to be upset about right now.

You are not a waste of time, space, or energy or anything like that. You will get through this... but it takes a lot of time. Have you been able to talk to a counsellor about this or anything yet? Do you plan on doing so? (I recommend it, it has helped me on numerous occasions)

well, I got a therapist, but I generally don't really like to talk to her much about anything. don't really find her very helpful and I'm pretty shy IRL and I hate talking about things that bother me I don't like painting myself as a whiner.

Sweetie you are not a whiner, you are not weak for crying .... that makes you a MAN in my opinion. Real men cry .... you are not worthless, you are not stupid, you are hurting. Please please, if you are feeling really bad do as Muffy says and see a doc or ER.... sometimes it feels so useless when all we want to do is protect you and let you know we care ..... sometimes i hate distance ..... hugs hugs hugs and more hugs to you....

(((((((((((((((((((((Griffe)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

love you sweetie Jin xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Christina86]

You aren't a whiner! (((((((((Vincent))))))))))))

Talk to your therapist. They are kinda paid to help you. If you're in a bad spot, then find a way to get in - ASAP (now!)

Be good. You can do this. You can get through this.

maybe I'll give her a call later, don't really feel like bothering anyone else right now.

not even end of the day yet

[Christina86]

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

Breathe. You can PM me anytime, okay? Call your T today, please. I hate to see you suffering so much

it's gotten kind of late so I'll just give her a call in the morning.
kind of gets to an 'I don't care' point about myself, where the pain feels better... now I look at my arm and I feel bad

[x_BabyG_x]

((((Griffe))))

Your not a whiner, your not stupid and your certainly not worthless.

Dont feel bad about your arm, you had to do what you had to do I suppose. But please take care and I hope you get out of this dark patch very soon.

take care, babyg xXx

couldn't be strong last night and had to cut
hate having to hide it from gf, and i have to see my T tomorrow and i don't want her to see would probably be easier just to cancel

[Christina86]

Nooooooo... Don't cancel. I'm sorry it came to that... but don't cancel. T's not going to be mad at you ... maybe just concerned.

((((((((((((Griffe))))))))))))))))

[x_BabyG_x]

The best thing you can do to get rid of this feeling is to talk about it. Open up to T and explain why you dd it and ust talk. You'll feel better about it, no point in running away from it hun

babyg xXx

kind of concerned that if T says i'm only getting worse she'll take some kind of action or something
scared of talking to anyone irl about self-injury really.
and come to think of it, me never talking kind of makes the whole seeing a T thing pointless not really sure why i bother to go at all.

[Christina86]

((((((((Griffe)))))))))) You go, because you know (even deep down) that you deserve help and maybe want it... even a bit. It's hard to open up sometimes.

As far as I'm aware, a T can't forcefully put you in a hospital or anything like that unless you're at risk of endangering your life. Now, SI is usually about trying to keep yourself alive ... so I don't think she'd do something that drastic. She might recommend it, but you don't necessarily have to do it.

she's recommended hospital a million times, i kind of figure she'll get tired of recommending and force me in, but i'm pretty sure that's very difficult with the laws where i live (could be wrong). such a drag and always seems like a waste of time i never get better, i really only ever get worse.

feel like doing it again. gf fell asleep, twins are asleep, pretty much alone

had to go to hospital last night and get cuts checked out

[paintingravens]

(((((((((((griffe))))))))))))))
I'm SO SORRY you've been feeling like such crap. I know you've already heard this, but YOU ARE MOST DEFINITELY NOT WORTHLESS!!! You shouldn't give up on yourself. Be strong! You have a great strength inside of you. If you didn't have strength, you wouldn't have already sought help.
Are you alright? I mean, i know you're not feeling alright, you know, emotionally, but, i mean, were the cuts really serious? They took care of you, right?

Always know that someone cares about you.
Are you doing better, today?