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  #1  
Old Jun 23, 2008, 06:36 AM
sujunew's Avatar
sujunew sujunew is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
Posts: 941
WHY do i still feel this way,
even after i have done everything i 'should' have done.
i've changed position; changed environment
i've distracted myself silly
i've 'rationalised' my thoughts; i've even turned them round to try and make them into something positive
and yet here i sit
with the urge coursing through me
if i do it i will be letting her down (my t)
we have been working so hard (with CBT)
and its been over a month (since I SIed)
i don't care about that though
and rationally why should letting her down factor into this? would she really feel let down???
I just need to feel it
the PHYSICAL pain
because it hurts so much inside
and i don't understand it
so i need to feel it differently
WHY???
WHY???
WHY???
WHY???
WHY???
WHY???
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I know that behind every grey cloud there is a silver lining; I just need to be patient enough to find it!!!


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  #2  
Old Jun 23, 2008, 07:00 AM
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bipolar_bear bipolar_bear is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,106
((((((((((((((((((((((sujunew))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry it is so hard right now. You are doing well with using other skills when you want to SI. Unfortunately it takes time to reinforce the new skills. When the pain gets intense it is more difficult to rely on the new ones. Maybe you can call you t? It sounds like you have been working well together on this. Sometimes it helps to get some of the hurt out too. She can help you there also. Please try and stay safe.

BB
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WHY???


  #3  
Old Jun 23, 2008, 09:32 AM
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Christina86 Christina86 is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 19,686
Hi you (((((((((sujunew))))))))))

BB gave some good ideas. Sometimes our new coping mechanisms haven't fully taken shape and it does seem easier to resort to previous methods to deal with things. I get that way too sometimes.

You can do this. Breathe. Call your T. If you want to chat (ever, since I haven't heard from you in a long time) ... PM me.

Stay safe. You're worth it.
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WHY???
  #4  
Old Jun 23, 2008, 11:15 AM
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x_BabyG_x x_BabyG_x is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2008
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,296
((((sujuneu))))

Calm down, and try not to give into it.

I know its hard, but it will get easier eventually if you dont give into it. Hold on there

babyg xXx
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  #5  
Old Jun 23, 2008, 03:18 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,637
((((((((((((((( sujunew ))))))))))))))))
WHY??? WHY??? WHY???
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  #6  
Old Jun 23, 2008, 04:49 PM
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sujunew sujunew is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
Posts: 941
thanks (((((BB, Christina, babyg and fuzzy)))))
just had a +++++stressful weekend, then I think what really brought this all on yesterday was having to cancel my t appt WHY??? WHY???. Yeah, I really needed it but couldn't make it. I see my psych nurse today tho...
__________________
I know that behind every grey cloud there is a silver lining; I just need to be patient enough to find it!!!

  #7  
Old Jun 24, 2008, 01:04 AM
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Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
That would do it for a lot of us. Me included. How did it go with the psych nurse? Did it help? Can you call and talk to your T when you really need to?
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“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

  #8  
Old Jun 26, 2008, 11:13 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,637
WHY??? WHY??? WHY??? WHY???
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