Should I be in the Hospital???

Hello everyone. I am not doing so good. I have cut everyday since I have been home from vacation. I saw my pdoc today and he asked if I needed to be in the hospital. I said no of course is my usual answer. I told him I was returning back to work after having a month off due to medical reasons, which was depression and everything that goes along with that. I am going back to work on Monday. I am very nervous about it because I have had at least 4 people ask me and tell me I need to be in the hospital. I am startig to think that myself, but I go back to work after being off for so long, and I don't want to lose my job. They are counting on me. I am worried that my boss will think that i should have gone to the hospital while I was on leave. Maybe that's the case, but things get worse everyday. My pdoc increased my respirdol to .5mg 3 times a day and I see him again Friday. He took me off Klonopin because it just wasn't working anyways, and I was having to take 4-6mg everyday. So I don't know what is going to happen now. Does anyone have any advice as to what I should do or if I should just go to the hospital or what. I have to go back to work because my finances suck, but what is the consequence of me not being ok. Am I going to totally lose it, or do you think I will be ok? Please help....I need someone to give me guidence. Thanks for listening

((((((((((((Jen)))))))))))))

Wow, that's a hard question to answer. Have you talked to your T about this (do you have one?)?

For your health and wellbeing, do you think being in hospital will help you get better control of things right now? You might wish to be back at work, but will things get progressively worse? I think that if you're in a bad spot right now, it's better to take more time off now to deal with life and the problems you're experiencing than going back to work and not being able to deal with the stress.

That's just my opinion though... I think if you're thinking about it, and you've made this post that you've already made a decision, but you just don't know it.

Be safe, whatever you decide. You're so worth it.

Hi Jen, this sounds like a discussion for you and your pdoc. Can you call him and have this discussion? Do you have a therapist?

Thanks to all that responded to my question. I did end up going into the hospital on Thursday afternoon and arrived back home Monday afternoon. What a waste of everyone's time. i was sick both Saturday and really sick on Sunday. I ended up sleeping in the "Quiet room" because I was suicidal and wanted to hurt myself so bad. I woke up Monday morning and said I am going home and the doc. asked if I was ready and I said yup and I went home. So now am home, i feel ok i guess. I am going back to work on Monday but am really nervous. I saw my therapist today and things are okay for now. Will see her again next week. Also see my Pdoc on monday so maybe somethings can be worked out there as well. They made no changes to my meds at the hospital except to take all at night. That's a lot of pills at night, but they go down and I sleep but don't sleep if you know what I mean?
Thanks for listeneing.

Hi Jen, I am glad that you are better now. It doesn't sound like it was a waste of time to me. You were very suicidal and you spent the night in a safe place and you say that you are better now. Sounds like the hospital got you through a rough few days.....

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( jen29 ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm glad you took care of yourself by letting yourself stay in a safe place for a while.

Be gentle with you.