well x-mas sucks

Well today kinda sucked!!!!!!!!!! I called my dad whom I haven't seen in 6 months and my step-mother answered. I was basically told that if I would not respect her not to call. This is the first Christmas I have had w/o my dad and I just wanted to call and tell him I love him. X-mas never was any fun-my pyscho step-mother always started a fight and ruined everything. I am haunted by the terrible memories of her. My T gave me what she called a take home theraputic aid. It was a big ragdoll resembling myself in my younger days. I am supposed to cut it when I get urges. Then I have to sew her back up and put a bandaid on her(its means I am mending us and making both of us whole again). I guess I will give it a shot.

Christmas can indeed suck. The ragdoll idea sounds like a good idea ... good luck!

Take care,
Fuzzy

(((hallie))) that doll does sound like a good idea...

hmmm have any that look like my attorney and the ins. co attorney????

u could make one, but be careful cause someone might think u r doing voodoo. j/k!!

hey hun I'm sorry it wasn't too good for you! *hugs* I hope you know we care about you here!

So sorry for the tough spots. I think the rag doll idea is a spendid one! let us know how it goes. As far as that step mother answering, she has no right to keep you from your dad. Have you explained to him what has happened between you and she? If your dad is not reaching out your way, he is just as complicit as the abusive step mom. You are his child and he still can be a parent.

he has known all along what she is like and how she treated us when we were younger>he knows about her drunken rages and besides she has given so many blackeyes I have lost count of them. I am not sure why but I HATE it when people say I was abused or that she is abusive. It just makes me kinda mad and upset for some reason. she needs to be in therapy not me.

I am sorry that the word abuse is triggering to you. How about nastiness? That's what she was, nasty. Yes she needs help. Abuse does not mean something is wrong with you, it is something that happened. My female parent was a nasty B-------. I am mostly sorry that you are looking to your dad for some kind of comfort because if I had any money to bet I would tell you that he will not change. He watched what she did to you. Time to make a family of choice for yourself. Not having a family does not mean you are bad. It is a sad reality for many of us. But you can choose whom to give your heart to. I have no sympathey for your father. You deserve better.

thank u. i am crying now but i am not sure why. ur words have touched me so; i don't know what i am feeling. it means so much. sorry to ramble-dont know what else to say.

((((((Halliebeth)))))))

Wisewoman is right. She is right, my female parent was extremely nasty too and I have very little to do with her anymore. My father came over for Christmas day and brought me a present for myself and my family but only stayed for less than an hour. I see him every few months, on my children's birthdays, and Christmas but that's it. I have a family, my family, that is chosen because it is my husband's family and some friends but I love my family. I don't have to worry about them being nasty to me, sure we have disagreements but we love each other and we can always work it out without getting really nasty with one another. It's such a peaceful way to live and it's taken some getting used to. I am so sorry for all you're going through this holiday. It can be a very trying time!!!

Take Care of yourself doll,
Kimberly.

Halliebeth, I'm so sorry Christmas was rough for you I hope things are getting somewhat better now. ((((((big hugs))))))) How is the doll thing working for you? Does it help?

NOPE!!!!! I hate christmas and i hate my dad-i think

(((((((Halliebeth)))))))) I'm so sad for you I wish I knew more to say that would comfort you.