 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Oct 08, 2008, 06:54 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Last night I took a kitchen knife into my bedroom
I hid it beneath my pillow, where it waited. I sat on my bed in complete darkness And stabbed my self hard into my leg. I lay down and felt the blood pour down to my toes... My mind spinning out of control. Spinning into feelings of euphoria.. It felt amazing, it felt seductive I fell asleep. Today I am disgusted. |
|
#2
Oct 08, 2008, 07:01 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
((((((((((((((((((((Steppalee)))))))))))))))))))))
I hope you are OK. Please take care of yourself. 
|
|
#3
Oct 08, 2008, 07:08 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((((((((Steppalee))))))))))))))
How are you today? If you need medical attention at all - please get yourself to the doctor.
__________________
|
|
#4
Oct 08, 2008, 07:33 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Steppalee
It sounds as if you should seek medical help...one to look at cut Also can you call your T Also remember to keep yourself safe and go the hospital .... hope you are ok muffy |
|
#5
Oct 08, 2008, 11:54 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Stepp, that sounds dangerous. Are you in therapy?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#6
Oct 09, 2008, 05:47 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Please see a doctor to take care of your wound. Do you have someone to talk to about your SI? Please try and stay safe.
BB
__________________
 |
|
#7
Oct 09, 2008, 06:44 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I didn't go and get stiches because i don't want to be labelled and im scared of the consequences.
I don't really talk about it.. i told my T i don't do it... I was just so angry at myself with complete self hatred and it was the only thing that rid me of that disgust I don't do it all that often but when i do... i do it with such anger and i do it as hard as i can.... and i don't know why it helps but it does. |
|
#8
Oct 09, 2008, 08:56 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Stepp, why were you angry at yourself?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#9
Oct 15, 2008, 01:26 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
because im disgusting
because im filthy because i need to be punished because i was a stupid child because im a stupid girl because i remember becasue i was hurt as a child and i didn't know it should be bad because i went back for more because i enjoyed it because i enjoyed it because i enjoyed it because i enjoyed it because i enjoyed it because no one told me it was evil because no one helped MEEEEEE because i thougut it was love because im so ugly because im worthless because im hopeless because i deserve it becasue im never do any good becasue i can't forgive myself because i cna't forgive him because i remember what IIIII did because i remember that iiiiiiiiI thought it was ok becuase IIII thought he loved me Because because I HAATE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I HATE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE I HATE MEEEEEEEEE I HATE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE |
|
#10
Oct 16, 2008, 05:48 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
((((((((((((((((((((((Steppalee)))))))))))))))))))))))))) It is not your fault. You were a child. I am sorry that he hurt you.
BB
__________________
|
|
#11
Oct 17, 2008, 05:57 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
thankyou...
i am sorry that he hurt me too... sorry that my life is ruined because of one stupid man... who thought he could use me as a peice of meat and discard me when he'd finished eating... im sorry that im alive to remember that.... but does dying mean he WINS.... its not fair it never has been... HUGS to everyone in my situation... your pain is understood... and im sorry...so sorry... |
|
#12
Oct 17, 2008, 08:22 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#13
Oct 18, 2008, 08:18 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((((((((((((((((((Steppalee)))))))))))))))))))) It is horrible what people can do to another. I am sorry what you experienced. I know sometimes it feels that there is no hope of ever healing from all the pain he inflicted. I hope you continue to work through and find the healing that is there. Please know your pain is heard and understood.
 BB
__________________
|
|
#14
Oct 19, 2008, 09:17 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hi, It's ok, calm down. You're doing ok. Deep breathe, picture yourself somewhere you feel happy and comfortable. Deep breathe 3 more times. Think about a way how you can change yourself or get past the moment. Live in the now, not in what has previously happened. Try to be the row boat who is gliding on the water, not anchored to the sea bottom. Try different tactics about how to improve youself and to live past what happened and try your best to turn the leaves around. You should talk to your therapist because it will help you in the best and most professional way you can. Even if you don't feel that this is the right thing to do, you need to understand that what is in your mind right is sometimes different from what is externally right.
Best of Wishes and I hope you understand and take my advice seriously. If you need extra support, you can always PM me anytime. I'm open to hear anything and help with anything.  ~dance59326
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown "To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment"  Thich Nhat Hanh |
|
#15
Oct 21, 2008, 07:59 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
hi dance
i take your advice very very seriously i don't have many people to give me advice well i don't have any part from a t no one who wants to really help me i feel sad i have to pay for someone to hear me that no one wants to listen anymore that im a burden that im a terrible friend so terrible that im worthless that it hurts so mcuh still that they move on but im stranded with noone that im sad that im taking your advice that its hard for my head not to take over,,, that im concentrating on your advice and on breathing that im trying to let my head shup off its so hard,.... i need to live in the now the past is too painful but it keeps rearing its ugly head and pulling me back down that im so sad that im a mess that i want someone..anyone to hold me tight that i havn't had human touch for months that i crave it that i want to feel loved by someone..a friend... someone other than my mum and dad who love me so much that they keep me alive coz i would never hurt them that i would never devestate them that i LOVE them sorry....i go on and on and bout the same stuff but it doent leave me... |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
