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#1
Nov 11, 2008, 12:37 PM
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but recently i cut again. bad i know. but i missed it.
i missed the only thing i could rely to be around for me, so i did it again. and looking back now, (i did it yesterday) i wish id saved it till now because i dont want to let myself do it again because i dont want to go back to where i was. i wish i left it till now because, one of the things i thought i could rely on left me. tom broke up with me last period today, and i dont get why. he said that it wasnt my fault (bullcrap) and that he just didnt think he wanted a girlfriend right now, as hes getting rid of all his commitments (also crap. i just wasnt good enough for him to want me) hes already trying to give up 6th form. i know he didnt mean it, but he has totally reinforced the idea that the only thing that wont abandon me is my razor blades. and he knows i want to stop. he knows im trying. i just wish iwas good enough for him.
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i miss you...  'cuz the drugs dont work, they just make you worse, but i, know ill see your face again...' 'welcome friends. i am potato.' 
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#2
Nov 11, 2008, 05:21 PM
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aw hun ((((((((((((slefy))))))))))))))) similar situation... and it's hard there's no doubt about that... but your razors WILL leave you... they will leave you because you are strong enough to fight against them and in time get rid of them. I've let myself slip too because my bf broke up with me...
Wish I knew what to say to you... mind if I give you hugs for now?  Take care hun... and no man is worth hurting ourselves over, Molly
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Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#3
Nov 12, 2008, 11:49 AM
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Selfy, everyone feels upset with a breakup. It is okay to feel upset. He broke up not because you aren't good enough but because break ups happen for all sorts of reasons (people fall out of love or want something else, etc.?). Please do not think badly about yourself! Abandonment sounds like a painful issue for you?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#4
Nov 12, 2008, 01:13 PM
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i am sorry you are hurting .... sending
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i was diagnosed with DID 4 years ago although sometimes i deny this disorder. |
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#5
Nov 12, 2008, 01:22 PM
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Quote:
just a little bit. i mean he was one of the few people i opened up to, and i had actually started thinking maybe he didnt want to leave me, and then bang im alone again. unfortunately i dont think he meant it but he totally reinforced the idea that people are scared of me and hate me and want me to go away. i dont know whyyyyy im so frightened of being left all alone, but its a constant fear. tom and kerry both said i should see someone which ergh i dont really wanna.... but yeh. fail. everythings just bit me in the arse these last 2 days. thankyou ginnie for the hugs.
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i miss you... 'cuz the drugs dont work, they just make you worse, but i, know ill see your face again...' 'welcome friends. i am potato.'
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#6
Nov 12, 2008, 01:31 PM
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If you want to know the answer to why you are afraid of being alone you can figure it out with a little thought.
So you think that people are afraid of you and hate you and want you to go away? Your friends want you to see a therapist?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#7
Nov 13, 2008, 04:34 PM
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(((((((((((((((( selfy )))))))))))))))
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#8
Nov 15, 2008, 11:40 PM
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((((((((((((selfy))))))))))))))) you are good enough... you were good enough... you will always be good enough... lyn
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lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#9
Nov 16, 2008, 09:38 PM
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It's not silly at all. I am sorry for your loss. Loss is hard for lots of us. Maybe it's one of your triggers? Please take care of you and keep reaching out, I bet one of us will reach right back.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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