I can't stop scratching my chest up..

Back when I was in 7th grade, when I was dealing with severe depression, I started clawing, digging, and scratching at my arms without realizing it..then I started moving on to my chest. It stopped until about 4 months ago, when I was beginning to feel extremely depressed and stressed again...

I can't stop it, and my chest looks so bad...It's so embarrassing and it makes my boyfriend mad because he thinks I'm trying to hurt myself but I'm actually not even realizing I'm doing it...

I just want to stop and I don't know how...

do you have conscious control of your arm movements> try concentrating on the actions made using your arms.. pay attention to it.....

Well, yea, but I kinda zone out && star off into space && that's when it mainly happens...especially when my boyfriend && I get into an argument && I get really anxious. I try && calm myself down and it just gets so much, I start staring off && then without realizing it, I start scratching very badly at my chest.

i can relate to the zoned out feelings you are talking about.. sometimes, for me, i would be completely numb, seemingly 'gone' for some period of time... no thoughts would come, no feelings.. as i worked out my inner struggles i came to realize that those 'zoning out' times were times in which i had disconnected from a particular feeling i was having at the time, fear, worry, doubt, etc... in time i was able to convert the zoned 'out' feeling into a zoned 'in ' feeling... i could use that time to think about some childhood event that had lodged itself into my mind, occupied a large segment of thinking space, and then departed, renewing the reservation and establishing the 'vacant' effect on me...

do you experience the 'zoning out' feeling regularly? is it in a certain time of day, is a particular song or image creating the spacey feeling you describe? what circumstances are occurring when the zoning out happens? are you seeing a professional now?

remember to take self care and ask for help from caring friends, loved ones.. boyfriend sounds concerned but untrained, i hope the two of you can work together to overcome whatever issues from your past are causing this to re-arise for you now

I zone out all the time, whether it be while watching t.v., conversating with someone, in a car ride...but it mainly happens whenever I'm arguing with someone. My mind starts racing and then I just zone out. I start thinking about a million things at once. Sometimes I don't even remember what I was thinking about, but I feel strange after it..I feel a bit numb sometimes. Like I've given up. And that's when I realize that I've scratched my chest all up.

&& no, I'm not seeing a professional right now, because I don't have health insurance..

many are struggling with insurance right now Sher and more will follow.. you are doing good coming here and expressing the inner pain that makes you want to self harm and we will do our best to help you avoid something unhealthy for you .. after all, we are about Health here...

what feelings are you able to feel? take it slow, and be safe, ok?

Sher, do you think that you are dissociating from your feelings then? There is publicly financed therapy. Have you looked into that?

At first, I'm able to feel the sadness, the anxiousness, the scaredness. I can feel the anger, too...but then I just feel nothing at all. Everything would start to feel so surreal.

the moments when you feel the pain, the sadness, are each sacred, it is the moment you are breathing, feeling, thinking, alive.... these are good things.... it will get better... sending hope and care

So it does sound like you dissociate when the feelings get too much?

Yes. =\

My boyfriend && I got into a big argument lastnight && I lost it and I was barely noticing that I was scratching my chest up really bad it was the worst I had ever done it it looks so bad && I'm so embarrassed && he got so mad that I was doing it but I didn't really know...

Is there a plan that you can put in place when you get really upset? Like being by yourself, journaling, walking????????????

Im sorry you are going through this and this may sound really dumb but here goes - I used to scratch my arms without thinking when I was anxious or feeling overwhelmed I would only notice when they bled - I try to keep aware of what i am doing now - to be in the moment as much as possible - not always possible - and i keep my nails short - I cant scratch myself if my nails are short -

Ihave tried to get her to cut her nails before but she doesn't want to and some times when we play around and rough house she also tends to scratch me really bad. I try not to get to mad but i have also tried talking to her about cutting her nails. But i do also need to stop getting so worked up over some things. but there where some things we have got into arguments over that i just cant help but get angry. i have told her i do get angry very easy and i believe it is due to being in the military, because i have never been like that before the military and i am trying to work on it. For both of us.