[me05]

I don't post very much but I am starting to get scared so I decided to try this and see if I can get some insight.

I am depressed. I SI and nobody knows. I have a lot going on. I feel sometimes that it is too much. My parents do not want to be bothered with anything. They expect me to be perfect... but that is something that I will not get into. I have felt myself so sad that it is almost unbearable. I will get into these moods where I cannot get out of them. I feel hopeless. I know this is depression, I am very aware of that. but like i said, my parents cannot be bothered so I cannot get help for it. My mom is a narcissist. She is depressed also, and will not get help for it. I just want to be able to feel better. It seems like it is getting worse and i am scared that I may act on my thoughts.

I guess this is a start to what I want to say.

Please help me if you can... any input will help.

[turquoisesea]

Hey there. I have a few questions for you.

How old are you? (I know this could be touchy, the reason I ask, is that if you are under 18 your rights are different than if you are older)

What are you doing in life... are you going to school? If so what year/level of schooling?

I want to say - that you ARE getting help by coming here. That is a great step. I also have depression, I have also SI'ed it is VERY important to get some kind of support and help. It is hard to deal with, alone or with support it is difficult and anything can help.

perfection - it sounds like your parents are putting to much pressure on you, I'm glad you realize that it's coming from them. Please realize, that it's a common thing to happen, that it's not your fault that you can't meet demands if they are too high. YOU are NOT at fault (if I'm reading this right )

I will get into these moods where I cannot get out of them. I feel hopeless.

alright.. one thing I would suggest here, is working on some ways to stop cycling thoughts.

One way is concentrating on where you are here and now, NO EMOTIONS, just facts. I am in a one room apartment, which has white walls and a white ceiling. There is a silvery lamp with two light bulbs in it. There is a cat next to me he is black and white and fluffy. I am sitting on a bed with a laptop in my lap.... the list goes on.
This kind of thought may help to break your train of though. It takes practice, and you have to keep going even though it seems silly but, it can help sometimes.

Find ways to distract... are you able to go over to a friends house to hang out? Being with people is a big big thing.

Also generally with depression getting out of the house as much as possible is very important.

last but not least... I wanted to say thank you for sharing that you SI. Iknow that is very difficult. Thanks for trusting us.

sending many many hugs, and you can pm me if you ever want

[notz]

me05,

It took a lot of courage for you to speak up. It's good you let your thoughts be heard. We are here listening.

notz

[madisgram]

((((me05))))w'ere here for you and you are important to us!!!
thank you for having the courage to share about what you are feeling right now. that is one of the first things we can do to get the help we want and need. i'm glad you found pc and i hope we can give you support that you looking for. i don't know your age but can you go and talk with a school counselor about your depression, etc? i'm sorry you don't feel your parents are hearing you. but we are here, so i hope you will continue to post! Lots of s to you.

[Safron]

me05,

Just posting here and sharing what you are feeling is one huge step forwards.

If we can't seem to get the help we need from those close to us then we have to find other ways to get it. And sharing with others in the same situation helps us do that.

I have been dealing with my stuff a long time and so it doesn’t worry me so much today as it did when I was younger. I have a psych doc appointment today at 10.30 and I don’t feel so good but I can’t post about it… Yet. So good for you for being able to do that.

[darkrunner]

Originally Posted by me05

I know this is depression, I am very aware of that. but like i said, my parents cannot be bothered so I cannot get help for it.

((((((((((((((((((((me05))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry things feel hopeless for you right now.
Please know that there is always hope.....we care about you and want you to keep posting.
Your awareness that you have depression is very important....
Is there anyone IRL you could ask for support? If you are in school - maybe a counselor or a trusted teacher or friend?
A close family friend or relative?
It is important that you reach out for support somewhere - maybe there is someone in your life that would support you that you have not even thought about.....

[Sannah]

Hi Me, sounds like you are feeling trapped? Like the others have said, there is always a way out. Also like the others have said, you have reached out here, your first step. Let us support you.............

[phoenix7]

Hi me05,

I am sorry you are in such distress - at the top of the page are some helpful threads about dealing with the urges - I mention them because I didnt notice them for ages!

Is there someone in the real world you can talk to aobut this? a friend? its good that you came here and posted - this is a great place to give and recieve support when you need it - please come back and let us kow how you are doing P7

[cherylann]

U FOLKS ON HERE R JUST TOTALLY AWESOME! WOW!