Sexual Humiliation

I am new to this site and have a hard time when it comes to navigation. I am in the process of familiarizing the page.
I just want to know if what I feel is just natural or this is already a disorder.
I feel satisfied and relieved if my partner is kinda soft brutal in words and in his execution when making love with him. The more he says dirty words or maybe he makes me feel inferior in sex, the more I feel satisfied. I don't know if this is just natural.

I think this is masochism and it is more common than you think! As long as both partners are ok with it and no one gets *really* hurt I don't think any therapist would tell you to stop unless you were extremely distressed by it. Most therapists would work with you to lessen your guilty feelings and help you understand it better.

Yes this is very normal. sometimes when a person feels a certain way in life they live out the different or opposite reality during sexual relationships and/or intercourse.

My husband is into cuckolding and I am having a hard time with it (we've only known each other for 15 months and married 6 months). I know...it was super quick. We just match in every way as far as work, life, and hobbies. I have a very high desire for sex (I'm 42 and have never desired sex as often as I do now).

I knew about the cuckolding when we were dating and I did the play along in the bedroom with telling him how worthless he is (even though it couldn't be further from the truth in my eyes - which is one reason it is so hard for me to do). Then last month, I actually fulfilled his fantasy and had him watch me with another man all the while saying horrible things about my husband while with the other man. There are 2 bad things that happened. I did enjoy the time because it was fulfilling my 3-way desire to be with 2 men. However, later that same night and ever since, I have felt so guilty. My husband sees it different that I didn't cheat, but in my heart and mind, I did and that is just not me.

Ever since then, he is even MORE obsessed. He's even got us online at dating sites trying to find another man for me that would partake in this activity and is constantly online watching porn with cuckolding. He has also started texting men from these sites acting like he is me telling them how bad "I" have it being stuck with / settling for him, etc (which he's almost making me feel that way all of a sudden).

I just want to talk to any other ladies that are in this situation (I know you exist). Please talk with me. Thank you.

Hey Indiana, I'm so sorry you're stuck in this situation.

I'm not a woman, but I don't think I have to be in order to say that pushing your sexual preferences on another person is wrong. Especially when they make that person feel guilty or uncomfortable.

You need to have a serious conversation with your husband about how that night made you feel, and about how you don't want having sex with other men to be a part of your relationship. Sometimes people get so caught up in their own fantasies, they forget about their partners.

If that doesn't work, then you need to be strong and insist that the two of you get help and see a therapist. Just please don't let him make you do anything else you don't want to do, or that you'll regret doing later.

Hi odoyle. Thank you for your note. I truly agree with everything you said, but then I start feeling like I am not fulfilling his sexual fantasies and want to keep him as happy as possible. I have gone back into character for him, but then lose my desire for him and will only do a bj instead of actually making love. It's like if I get him off in that way, I have to allow myself time to fall back in love with HIM before even desiring him again. Does that make any sense?

He knows how I feel and says we will not meet with anyone again, but that he won't give up his porn (which I was not making him do). It just hurts emotionally when I walk out to the office and he's on that site and I could have been taking care of him on my own. I know he's also still talking to men on dating websites acting as me, too. I can tell because he will finish a lot faster than if it's just me in the bedroom and he hasn't watched his fetish at all that day....

It just hurts. My doc said to just accept it that men have their fetishes and that I should look at it as going into character for him and that he's doing the same. My problem is that I am just NOT a mean woman to say such hurtful things to the man I love. Thanks for "listening". Really appreciate it.

I discussed this lifestyle with my wife 5 years ago and it was not for her even in the realm of fantasy. All these years later, I still return to some cuckold porn for a few months and then stop it again. Sometimes my wife obliges me and says a few words to me, which I like, during the act, but they are hard for her to say. I have had to think hard about it all and why I still like it. It's something I have to work on some more, sooner than later. We are reasonably on track in our marriage. Have a good day.

i think you are grat to do things for each other i think you should talk and make ruels i dont think you should just stop it is very hard to stop thinking about whats on your brane trust me i am a man and my wife has had theesoms for me and i have dun it for her i am on this sight bec i cant stop thinking about it i am driving her nuts

I am not distressed with wht I have but it's hard to find a partner because I feel that some people would think that this is not normal.

Hi all,

There's an article which sets out to explain the psychology of Cuckold and Sexual Humiliation Pornography and Fantasies. It's on the Inside Low Self Esteem Blogspot.

The title is:

Understanding the Cuckold Fantasy and the appeal of Cuckold Pornography

Hope it helps!

Oh my gosh! I started reading this and for a second thought I wrote it! My boyfriend for what I have known for 7 years now but we have only been in a serious relationship for about a year and a half also has an addiction to cuckoldry. It has consumed is thoughts to where I have caught him contacting women from his past that he has done it with. I have threatened to leave him and he has now contacting a therapist about it and is supposed to start attending sexaholics anonymous meetings. I am no professional but from my research it seems this disorder is called "fetishism". Your husband gets off on being humiliated by watching his wife with another man. You should do some reading on it.

DO NOT ACCEPT IT! Whatever doctor told you that needs to get his license taken from him. Change doctors! You should not have to compromise your dignity to be with anyone! There is a difference in being married to someone and having to adjust to each other's likes and dislikes in the bedroom but from what you describe in your previous posts is that he is addicted to the thought of cuckoldry. Being addicted to a sexual thought or act to where it starts to negatively affect your life is considered an addiction. Just like being addicted to alcohol or gambling. It is an addiction and you are being his co-addict. Please look into Sexaholics Anonymous and Sex Addicts Anonymous. Another site is S-Anon.

Ahhh...what a breath of fresh air this site is! I've spent the last year immersed in a Cuckold/Hotwife forum site living out my fantasy vicariously through others! I'm not here to condemn or berate that particular site, but I will say the best analog for it this: It's as if I were a binge drinker and went to a forum whose members were alcoholics and I asked them if they thought I had a "drinking problem". After awhile, the cuckolding fantasy or experience becomes "normalized" and I wanted it even more. Luckily for me, my wife of 17 yrs. will have NONE of it. I was very open with her and discussed it with her ad nauseam and ad infinitum, but she has firmly stood her ground to the point that I have finally realized that I am not going to convince her to try it and that I need to change my behavior. So, I quit the site...I had to physically request it from the admin moderator to DELETE my account because I didn't have the willpower to quit logging on every day and comment on threads or view pics of the "hotwives". So, now I am without a home. Am I addicted to sex? Probably. At least I am addicted to the behavior. I use it to deal with anxiety from work/life related stress. Sex IS a powerful drug and I do use it to sefl-medicate or even procrastinate.

What I would like to say to the women in relationships with men like me is this: Set clear and firm boundaries with your S.O./Husband. Don't give in to this fetish. Don't compromise your values and morals. Trust your gut instinct. I rarely saw a "happy ending" to the couples involved in cuckolding. It's an emotional addiction for men, and perhaps even some women. Cuckolding/Hotwifing is the "heroin" of sex...it's very powerful and intoxicating, even just being an outsider looking in. I saw the men involved in the lifestyle needing increasingly more from their wives as it progressed. It's a high that men can NEVER get enough of and they ask their wives to either have more sex or even fall in love with other men. There's probably lots of different reasons for men to do this, but at the core is an addiction to emotions...and those emotions usually stem from low self-esteem or insecurity issue with their masculinity or manhood.

On that note, I'd give your S.O/Husbands a chance to work through their issues in a reasonable time frame, but if their overall behavior doesn't change, I'd move on. Not all men have this issue. There are healthy men out there...trust me! Good luck.

To all: It is a personal thing. You cannot dictate what some should should not do. I learned about the cuckold thing and find it abnormal myself. But I have a fetish for gloves, the leather variety, the tighter the better. No idea why but I knew about from years back.

Now that said, I know the power of the fetish and what it means to me which has bothered many women and delighted a few. It is an overwhelming desire controlling that desire is the trick to keeping things normal (for the person with the fetish). If it makes you uncomfortable and it seems to be consuming the person with the fetish you may need to talk often and at some point leave them.

Your leaving for your own sanity and reenforcing the idea that the fetish might be out of control for the person with it. Of course liking clothing or a bit of dirty talk is one thing but social interaction can be tough (cuckold, heavy S&M, etc).