[Miracle1986]

I hate how depression totally robs me of my sexual desire. And words can't describe how bad I feel for my poor hubby.
But earlier today, I gave in and gave it to him. It did absolutely nothing for me, but yeah whatever, he needed it... BAD!!!

But as soon as we got done, my voices started yelling at me, "*****, *****! You're such a *****!! Ha ha ha"
I guess because I can't get horny so my hubby has to "use" me
(in a way) like a guy uses a *****?

I took a shower and the voices are still yelling and laughing at me.

[mixedup_emotions]

I'm so sorry you feel that way.....

Around 2001, I started losing my sex drive....but my husband is practically a nympho. It got to the point where I would just give him what he wants VERY often to "get it over with" and to satisfy him.

I don't see anything wrong with caring enough for someone to satisfy them when you're in a funk......but I started to feel very resentful at times because of the sexual, emotional and verbal abuse I was getting along the way. And those around me were waving the red flags. In my case, it may be different...but if you're in a loving relationship, I don't know.

Please don't beat yourself up.

[angel12]

i can so relate to that feeling like a hoare
it hurts but you gotta tell you its not you
ok hun
wish i could say more
hugs
angel
xx

[Rhapsody]

[_Hope_]

as for myself i love being a *****

[Slothrop]

I agree with mixedup, giving someone what they want/need when you don't feel like it can be a caring act. Hopefully your hubby is patient and not harassing about the issue. I don't think you should feel used for doing something to please someone even if it did nothing for you. He probably really appreciates it.

[prettyjolie]

You know what? I feel like that sometimes, too. I don't necessarily feel like a *****.. or I don't hear voices calling me a *****, but I feel horrible. I don't know why.
It's like if I feel like he's being selfish at all, I feel like crap.
Then, when it's over sometimes I just feel like crying. I don't even know what I'm feeling. Sometimes the tears just pour out and I have to try to hide them. I've never been molested or anything, but I wonder if maybe I was when I was very young? idk.. It's just weird when you react in these ways to sex and you don't really know why.

You're not alone.

Have you told him how you feel? It's something I need to try as well.

[chaotic13]

Originally Posted by Manda86

But as soon as we got done, my voices started yelling at me, "*****, *****! You're such a *****!! .

Manda...I know this feeling and these voices well.

[sillyfish]

Hi. I feel the need to state the obvious. I apologize if someone already said this and i missed it.

Keep in mind that I'm a nobody, no qualifications what so ever to give advice but this is something I've had good fortune in coping with in the past and i hope that my ideas might help.

Would you consider letting your lover read the post you wrote here on this site? Open communication in a relationship can be a huge help.

Its not being a nag to tell him how you feel. Your not denying him, or turning him down by talking about it. Your just getting things out in the open. in fact, open communication is a vital part of a healthy sex life.

My guess is that he will be far more understanding than you might immagine, and that many things you might assume he already knows, he doesn't. Men dont 'just get it' most of the time .

tips:
1. don't bring it up when he is in need and seeking release, choose a time that's somewhat relaxed(maybe during a meal?) to talk about it

2. start by expressing your understanding of his needs, and move into telling him why the situation makes you feel the way you do.

3. write down a list of feelings regarding the issue, and keep it with you, so that you wont forget what to say

for me the list included things like guilt, shame, and feeling like i wasn't much of a woman.

[mountHope]

This happens to me too! I know my boyfriend loves me very much and is not intending to use me in any way, but sometimes, even I did enjoy it, afterwards I feel dirty and used and horrible and I all I want to do is curl up and cry. I hate feeling that way because I do enjoy pleasing him sexually.

[AAAAA]

I know what you're feeling to an extent, I didn't feel like a *****, but I felt angry at him. I know that sex is a normal desire, but not only did the meds I was on at the time rob me of my desire, but it also made me numb from the waist down. I remember one time I flared out at said "this isn't even worth the mess!"

The only thing I can suggest is trying different meds, and letting him know that it's not him, that it really is you.