am I masochistic?

I like being dominated in bed does that mean I'm massochistic?..I like when someone spanks me or pulls my hair or takes control...I don't like initiating the sex..I like the other person doing that...and I was attracted to abusive men rather than men who care about me...is that normal.

It normal for a lot of people when they have been sexual abused....

I too like to be dominated. I can't say i was sexually abused but I was raped by a friend. I'm not sure the two are tied together but I do wonder at times. Don't worry you're not alone.

Insecurity

I also love to be dominated. I don't like the spanking thing, but like to be held down, and like my hair pulled.
Everyone is different in their preferences. It would be pretty boring if we were all the same

I was depressed and I went and tlaked to my teacher when I was in highschool...and he asked my parents if I liked pain or something...I dunno...my parents ahve done such stupid things ot me...like ignore me and not get to know me and not allow me ot be who i am...while the rest of the kids they actually paid attention to them...I was neglected...and I wasn't the problem causer..I stayed away from relaiotnhsip as a kid didn't trust anyone but my self...and relied only on me...I didn't wnat ot be close to anyone...to this day I'm scared of having friendships...and feeling like I won't be accepted or I'll be rediculed...I jsut ahven't had real love from anyone...I didn't know about love until I met my second bf and he showed me what it was to have someone care for you

my mom gets upset if I cahnge or I'm not the same person she's always wanted me to be...whatever makes me happy she hates...she doens't get it that it's my life and not hers

Um.. Not sure but yea sounds like you are.

I guess you are asking are you a sexual masochist? Actually no. But you do like to be sexually submissive and there are many people (men and women) who prefer that.

Some have been abused, some have not, it is a sexual preference.

If it is something you and your partner agree on, in other words if there is consent between the dominant and the submissive partners, and the interaction between you is rewarding and loving and creates no additional problems, then the matter is entirely between the two of you.

Like someone else said, you're sexually submissve, not necessarily a sexual masochist. Although someone who is sexually submissive isn't always a masochist, but people who are masochistic usually are submissive. I think I phrased that right... Someone can submit to his or her partner without being hurt or made to suffer.

In my case, I prefer the submissive role in a sexual relationship. I do enjoy the infliction of pain. Whether that makes me a sexual masochist or not doesn't really matter to me because I know what I prefer sexually.

Receiving moderate to severe amounts of pain is an endorphin rush for me. I'm going to spare all of you the details because I don't feel it would be appropriate for this site. After being in a 10-month 24-7 power-exchange dominant/submissive relationship, I have been well accustomed to daily beatings etc. But afterwards, I feel more centered, and more in control of things... a natrual high if you will.

It boils down to preference. If that's what you prefer, run with it!

-Nayana

I know just what you mean. I consider myself to be somewhat of a "switch". Meaning I enjoy being both dominant and submissive. I enjoy being submissive much more though, because ironically, I fight for control over myself, and situations that frustrate me in my life. So when I someone else takes that control from me, it kind of feels like freedom. It's like a release. And as long as no one is really hurting you, I think it's okay. Just make sure you do these things with someone that you can trust, and care about.

It sounds as though you are submissive and enjoy that part of it. I, myself, like being spanked also, but my husband will never do it because he thinks it's degrading to women.

I know our sex life would greatly improve if he took the control I so desparately need while in bed.

I wouldn't say you're full blown masochistic and agree you sound submissive. Even if you were masochistic, as long as you're fine with it and in a healthy balanced relationship, that's fine. Obviously if you choose the wrong partner who is abusive that's not healthy.

There are couples where one is dominant and the other submissive - they engage in role playing where one inflicts controlled pain without endangering or causing real harm. This doesn't mean the dominant partner is abusive because the role playing in consensual and there's true love in the relationship. In true sado-masochistic pairing - they usually negotiate what they're willing to do and agree to a safe word or sign which would stop the activity. Bottom line if you're fine with this and having healthy relationships then its fine.

You took the words right out of my mouth Lynn!

That is a great posting and the best explanation, I have ever seen, I can't come up with a better way of saying it and I have a D/s (dominant and submissive) relationship