before 12 years of age

a person becomes homosexual because they had some kind of homosexual experience or trauma before they were 12 years old right?, cause i've heard that's when you create your sexual identity...

No, and this is what irritates me. I was sexually abused from before I can remember up until I was 7 years old and people blame that on why I like girls. This is not true. It makes me want to kick a puppy.

I don't think I'm familiar with this concept of creating a sexual identity.
When I was about 7 years old a friend and I did some "experimenting" one day. Both of us male. We're both heterosexual adults. Another example: four of my friends got into this sexual "experimentation" phase for a few weeks one summer when we were 10 or 11 years old. I didn't participate this time for whatever reason but they were friends and I was there on a few occasions. The guys were of various type. A jock, a "macho" guy whose parents were immigrants from Mexico, the neighborhood tough guy, and a hip kid. All average typical kids.
These guys all grew up to be heterosexual. They are married and have children.
I had two friends who were lesbian. One was pretty close for a while. She told me that she knew about her sexual orientation when she was a child. No trauma involved.
I don't know if sharing these memories helps you but I hope so. In my opinion, you are what you are regarding sexual orientation.
I haven't seen anything to make me believe that it's a choice or that you can be "turned."

I agree with Erti and arcangel - I think we're all born with the makings of our sexual orientation. If a child has a same sex experience or abuse situation, this doesn't make them turn homosexual. So yeah, it's a myth IMO.

Are straight people only straight because they had a heterosexual experience or trauma before age 12? No.

It's the same with homosexuality, bisexuality, etc. Nothing can turn you that way, it's just who you are. It's not as if everyone is born heterosexual and then something has to happen to "turn them gay," it's just a detail of a person that they're born with.

I hope my explanation helps.

ok, what I meant was that people who become homosexual is mostly because of that reason, ok some are born that way, but most of them are because of the reason I already explained above.

I know what you meant, my post was just explaining how I (and others who posted apparently) believe that's a myth. What I meant was that nothing can turn a person gay or somehow cause it, specifically the examples you mentioned.

Do you have any proof that "most" people are homosexual because of sexual experience/trauma with the same gender before the age of 12?

I think what we have here...is failure to communicate
I am a very private person so the choice to speak of personal experiences in the post I made was not easy. But in for a penny...
I'll give you one more story. One of my nephews was sexually abused by an older boy in his neighborhood. My nephew is a heterosexual adult now with three children. I don't believe his abuser was or is homosexual. He was a bully who probably was abused himself.
One more...I have another nephew who is gay. To my knowledge he was never abused in anyway.
Are you looking for support? Is there some real life issue here you want to talk about or are you just providing your unsolicited opinion for conversation?

aaahhh no

Someone who is gay was no less "made" to be gay than I was "made" to be heterosexual.

As Nemo, Flooded, and Arcangel have explained, no, one cannot "become" or be "made" gay. Sexual abuse does not change someone's sexual orientation. Abuse is something that happens to both heterosexual and homosexual people and, while it is certainly tramautic and certainly affect those who experience it, it does not have the specific affect of altering their sexual orientation. That is an unfortunate myth and negative stereotype that, I believe, is harmful to spread. It perpetuates the idea that people are only gay because something bad happened to them, which gives the impression that there is something negative about being gay-- which there is not.

To use personal experience to illustrate my point, I'm gay, and I have never been sexually abused. I have dozens of gay friends, none of whom have been sexually abused. I have dozens of straight friends, a few of whom (unfortunately) have been sexually abused. There is no link between sufferring sexual abuse and "becoming" gay. A gay sexual identity is something one is born with. It is something that exists well before the age of 12. I knew consciously that I was gay when I was 5, and I know I was born that way. Most of my friends, gay, bi, and straight, report having attractions at early ages as well, and know that they were also born that way.

Sexual abuse can cause sexual trauma and sexual issues in the future, but it does not in any way alter one's sexual oreintation as a homosexual, hetrosexual, or bisexual person.

I was sexually abused as a child, but I ,in no way, feel this has anything to do with my identifying as bisexual. My attraction to women has nothing to do with the trauma I experinced in my childhood. It is just how I am wired, I can be in a relationship with a man or woman, to me both are not just sexually attractive to me but also emotionally attracted.

I have many gay friends that have never experince a sexual trauama. I have many hetrosexual friends that have sexual abuse history.

Sexual trauma can however leave us surviors with a lot of questions and a lot of confusion about our sexual identies, but it doesn't change our orientation. It's very important to work through those things with a mental health professional and get help.

I'm gay and I haven't had any trauma or bad childhood experiences related to sex. People still debate it, but I think sexual orientation is mostly decided at birth. There are exceptions to every rule in all of nature, but most gay people are clearly gay from the time they are small children. Ask most gay people and they will say they always knew there was something "different" since they were very little. I knew my cousin was gay from the time he was like 4. He loved dancing and he was so flamboyant. He got a little older (still little) and thought the Backstreet Boys were cute. He was just always gay. And my cousin comes from an incredible family and he's a well adjusted, normal, great kid (now in college). Sexual trauma can certainly cause confusion and intimacy issues, but it doesn't make people gay.

ok I am a man, at the age of 17, I was in bed one night, and I was thinking of scoring with girls, in two weeks i was going to a concert where a lot of rock and some tropical music bands would play, the concert was here in my city, I was imagining that i was scoring with the girls and making out and stuff, (this next part is going to sound a little ridiculous) I had read a book about something called "the law of attraction", and among other things, it said that when u imagine something, u feel it too as if it was happening. I have to say that i have always been attracted to girls, but well that thought came to my mind and while i was picturing myself kissing that girl I was not feeling anything: Well then I thought "hey im feeling nothing", "what if i am gay?" or something like that, the thing is that since that moment, those thoughts havent left my mind, even when i give answers and answers and answers, they dont go away, no answer seems to be strong enough, or if it is strong, the other arguments come again, and dude i'll tell u that's very disturbing, those thougts are so horrifying.

I am 22 years old now, and this situatin has affected my life in so many levels, my grades are very bad in college, and i feel very scared most of the time.

these days I have been looking in several mental health websites, and I found something called HOCD, or Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Desorder. I think that's what I have...

thanks to u people anyway

I also have to say, I have not been abused or anything like that in my childhood, my childhood was very nice and normal

There is very good evidence that a person's sexuality is formed in the womb. No choice there.

Sexual fantasies don't make you gay in as much as abuse doesn't make you gay. Fantasies are just that - fantasy.

by the way, i have nver been abused or anything like that, my hcildhood was good and normal.

While I think abuse or sexual encounters before that age may result in your being more confused about your sexual identity, I don't think it "makes you" one way or the other. I had some huge "daddy issues" growing up and feelings of abandonment so I essentially was a slut - didn't matter girl or guy. I experimented both ways and liked both. However, now that I have done some soul searching I realize that I really am straight. I was confused for a long time but finding out who I really am is what helped me out.

Plus, I think early teens is when most people (if they do) feel a little confused. I think everyone goes through a time when they are sexually developing, hormones are racing and you don't know your *** from a hole in the ground lol. It's perfectly normal and doesn't necessarily mean you will be any certain way as an adult.

I also agree sexual orientation happens in the womb. First I'll state that we can't diagnose people but I can speculate. I answer questions in the Q&A section and this type of question has come up many times. I think you're experiencing 'intrusive thoughts' - these are thoughts which typically go against what you normally would do or what's taboo to you - for example most would agree incest is a taboo subject. If a person considers incest taboo and starts thinking about it, BUT doesn't feel excited by it, then this is an 'intrusive thought'. If the person has no 'intention' to validate the thought, then it's not a genuine desire. I'll give an even simpler, funny example - I have a dog and 'm a good neighbor so I use pooh bags to pick up the pooh. if the thought of eating the pooh (lol) pops in my head - does this mean I could be a pooh eater? Of course not.

Intrusive thoughts are related to obsessive thinking. The trick is, realizing the more you worry about the thought, the more it will bother you. Think of the thought as an 'invader' or unwelcome visitor and the best thing is to ignore it, but don't worry about trying to stop it. Just let it come and scoff at it - like "oh that thought again".

Since you're young not everyone is educated about homosexuality. Chances are your fear of it, is what's fueling these thoughts. It would help by learning more about homosexuality and asking questions like you did here. If these thoughts don't calm down, then you should consult with your doctor.

If you find this anxiety increases when you're with a woman, this could turn into 'performance anxiety' If you worry about not being turned on by a woman, then the adrenaline will stop you from getting turned on, so don't take this a a confirmation you're gay. Just let the thoughts come and don't worry about arguing with them and hopefully they'll calm down. Hope this helps and wishing you peace with this.

I forgot to mention that I'm sorry you're struggling and this thread can take a different direction now that you've shared where these thoughts are coming from. I hope the way I explained it, will calm these thoughts for you. Since it's reached the point where its affecting your life and you're scared, you should seek help if it doesn't get better.

Very good article that explains the "parts" of one's sexuality. I think loose terms and emotions can get in the way of understanding one's self (and there's not a whole lot of need to understand another, that's their job): http://www.yoursexhealth.org/html/details.php?det=0,2 Everyone is in charge of forming their own sexual identity, nothing is set in stone once and never revisted. One can grow and change sexually just like emotionally, physically, etc.