Truly sick

Twice I have enticed my dog to lick me. I was intoxicated both times, but not to the point of being completely unaware. I am disgusted with myself so that I can't look in the mirror, eat, or sleep. I certainly can't look at the dog---my hiking buddy. No force involved. I'm not usually a very sexual person. It deters me from relationships (that's another issue itself because I don't want to be lonely) and was a major factor in breaking an engagement. So why this, twice, with a precious pup that deserves respect? I feel like giving her away. I feel like I'm a terrible owner and a terrible person. I don't know how to face the shame and humiliation I feel. I don't know what I expect from admitting this; I guess part of me is wondering if it's a sign of a bigger issue. Please don't judge me...I feel terrible already. I just want to come to a rational state of mind where this never happens again and where I can sleep again.

no identity - it seems seeing a therapist is in order here to help with deal with the behavior, shame and humiliation you mention. you seem to have an adversion to sexual behavior and are going to extremes to avoid it with others. it seems that you may have had issues of shame and humiliation regarding sexuality. please see a therapist - perhaps one who specializes in sexuality - as soon as possible. good luck to you.

I agree with unhappyguy. This does not make you a terrible person. You obviously are not lacking a conscience or you would not be here now. I think the fact that you recognize this as a cry for help is a good sign that you are NOT a bad person.

It sounds like you perhaps have trust issues? Pets in general allow us to project our feelings on to them. That's why we become so attached. They don't really empathize with us or feel our emotional pain, but we feel that they do. So we trust them. We know they will never talk back or get up and leave us. So, in a way, it makes sense that the one place you would feel comfortable exposing yourself in such an intimate way is with someone you feel that much trust in.

I think the real underlying issue is your fear of people. You also mentioned feeling lonely? That also sounds like fear of opening up to someone - fear of rejection maybe?

I hope you can get help with this. We are not here to judge - only to listen and attempt to help. There may even be groups (I don't know how large your town is) that have people with these same issues.

I certainly don't judge you. I don't think you did the dog any harm, but giving her away would make her unhappy. Keep her!

Honestly, that part doesn't bother me at all.

But if you think you are a terrible person, then you might benefit from therapy.

This does not make you a terrible person at all. In fact, I will admit that bestiality involving women and dogs is one of my fetishes.

I certainly don't feel therapy is necessary. It's not wrong, or illegal. You are not harming the animal, or using force. What one person finds disgusting another will find attractive. This not only goes for sexual acts, but with everything. Favourite colour, taste in men/women, favourite food, everything.

You are not forcing your pup to do anything. From my experience with watching such things, dogs are more than willing to engage in what you described, and an awful lot more, and are certainly capable of ignoring you if you want it but they dont. And believe me, they certainly know what is going on.

Have you asked yourself why you only do this when intoxicated? I find many people say or do things they daren't admit when sober. My dad often admits he thinks his marriage to my mother is failing when intoxicated, but never says such things when sober. Perhaps being intoxicated provides an excuse for it to happen? For example, a friend of mine, who at the time claimed he was straight, on three occations kissed a male when drunk, and when sober again claimed he was disgusted and that he never fancied men, etc. He's now admitted to being bisexual.

As for relationships, my fiance knows this, and although she makes the occational light hearted joke about it, she's fine with it. If it is the case that this is something you enjoy, but are too embarrassed to come to terms with it as society would deem this 'Sick and disgusting', then keep it to yourself. Nobody needs to know what you like. If you do want to tell someone, make it someone you can trust. Another question is whether you enjoy it or not. If you don't, all you can do is try to avoid it when intoxicated. If you do, why is it so bad? As I said before it's not illegal, and whether it is 'normal' or 'right' isn't an issue, as there's no such thing.

I'm certainly not saying this is the same with you, nor am I accusing you of anything, so if it seems that way I appoligise. Just my two cents on the issue.