Do you...

Do you enjoy sex? I don't think I do...never really have. I became sexually active at the age of 16. I'm almost 23 now & in between that time my sexual experiences have been blah. Maybe because most of my sexual experiences were due to being pressured into it, but even the times I've initiated it...I faked like I was enjoying it. What's wrong with me? The only thing I do enjoy is receiving oral sex...other than that I rather not have sex. Could this be like a medical disorder or something?

I am not sure it's a medical disorder. What about love? Are you a romantic person? Are you looking for something more than sex, e.g., friendship, companionship, emotional closeness? Do you want sex to mean something emotionally to you rather than just a good physical time?

Frankly, you are young and it seems that you have not met the right person and that you lack experience in dating situations. I think you need to set boundaries with yourself - only have sex with people who have meaning to you; people for whom you have feelings and - most importantly - have romantic feelings for you. Hopefully, the rest will fall into place. Good luck to you!

My first gyno told me 2 things when I went for The Pill about half a century ago (okay, that's an exaggeration, only 40 years ago) that I LATER REALIZED I did not pay enough attention to! Don't let this happen to you! 1. Get your butt UP - put a pillow under if you need to. 2. Use lots of lube. I would add, try to educate yourself. I saw a new documentary on the G-spot recently, seems they are STILL discovering (or inventing!) things about the female anatomy. But you're obviously "functional" - you just need more practice! And NOT to feel like you're being forced. Also, if you are taking meds, some could affect sexual ability.

Sometimes good sex or feeling comfortable with sex is having a partner that you feel comfortable, safe and cared about with.

Sex and any sexual activity is just as much mental as physical.

I struggle with my partner sometimes because I get insecure about my apperance, the movements, the touch, the moment is right but because mentally I am not completley enjoying it because I am worried about how I look or how my partner sees me the sex isn't as enjoyable.

I also had past traumas I had to work through before I could even begin to think about any sexual activity, I had to learn to heal the wounds and also be comfortable with my sexuality and myself before I was able to enjoy things.

Setting boundaries is a great idea, don't let anyone pressure you into sex until you feel comfortable with them, or your in a relationship, or whatever boundary works best for you and your needs.

Since other posters have addressed other elements, I just wanted to ask what might seem like an odd question. Disregard whether you have a physical personal desire for sexual stimulation or if you'd like a close emotional/romantic bond with someone else or if you think people are beautiful to look at. With all that out of the way, are you actually sexually attracted to other people?

I haven't had sex but I would prefer being romantic and enjoying being with my boyfriend. I feel like I won't orgasm but I guess, what counts is the intimacy with my partner. I don't think it's a disorder.

Pandoren....I would like to say yes, but honestly I'm not even sure at thus point. Yes I was the intimacy & romance that I never had before. Yes I want the full connection that 2 people have when they have sex & their in love. Maybe I am too young & inexperience, but it was just I thought. When I told some girls today that I didn't enjoy sex they looked at me like I was crazy.

I have experience sexual trauma, but I don't know if that plays a part since I'm so numb to what happened years ago. I just wondered...that's all.

I just thought it was worth mentioning. I'm asexual (a minority orientation where someone doesn't experience sexual attraction) and I've known other asexuals who desire loving relationships with other people and have had sex for various reasons, but often when an asexual doesn't know they are asexual, they may find that sex is unfulfilling or uncomfortable and that they've been engaging in it for all the wrong reasons.

I'm not saying that is the reason, of course. It could be a physical condition affecting your ability to enjoy intercourse, or a mental block (you mentioned the incident, which could affect it) or that just the right circumstances haven't occurred yet, but as options go, I wanted to put it out there

Thank you...I really appreciate your reply.

Sexual trauma does play a part even if you are numb to what happenef

Give yourself sometime and let 'things' just happen. Sexual trauma definitely affects one's ability to respond favorably to one's partner. Fear does crazy things to us. While there is much talk of engaging is some various sexual self-stimulating practices for the anwser, stay away from it. Those practices can form a deeper barrier between you and a partner that you are looking forward to meeting one day. They are self-destructuve in the long run and really isolate you all the more. I listened to that philosophy for awhile and found out the hard way, that any form of self-stimulation was also self-destructive. Perhaps, you need to talk to your T about this. Trust someone you can talk to if you don't have a T. Holding these thoughts inside deos not help the siuation at all. I will eat away at you untile you have no ersonal pride left.

Tons of people all over the world love the taste of chocolate. But there will always be people that really don't like it but maybe they'll try it again and think ''Maybe if I try another brand/give it another shot I'll like it."

I highly doubt that a preference excluding sex is a mental disorder. It's just simply a preference. No two people are exactly the same and even if it seems everyone in the entire world enjoys a specific thing, there is more than one person that hates that thing. It might not be a common occurrence, but it's definitely a normal one. What you said about oral, some people may hate chocolate but those same people may like chocolate cake- if I'm not confusing you too much. Sorry, I like using examples like that.

No that's perfectly fine...you all helped, thanks so much!

Great to see you here MsBunny! You seem very liberal on the subject of preference - excellent! And you are right: some people like chocolate and others don't.

I wonder if you can shine this understanding and compassion on your own dilemma? Is it really such a big deal if you like chocolate or not?

I have had sex twice and I didn't enjoy it at all. It was sore and like you have said "blah" I was manic at the time(both times) lol so that might not have helped. I am sexually attracted to men but I don't actually see myself in a relationship with them. Crushes oh god ye all the time lol!