Coming out

It may have taken a while for me to accept it...


...But I AM bisexual. And it feels good to say so

Sorry im not trying to make a big deal out of it but it feels so good to be able to tell people, even if its only on a forum.

Just wish i had this much courage to tell my family and friends. What are everyone elses experiences with coming out?

Glad you've found your voice ... Don't let anyone take it away!

It took me 35 years to find the courage to even utter it, and my therapist was the first one I told it to.

Sure ... I lost friends and family over it. But that's okay.

After the heartbreak and healing, I found that the ones who forsook me for being gay weren't really my friends and family anyway.

Our friends and families are those who love us unconditionally ... regardless of who we are!

Stay Strong!

coming out is a process. it takes time. and, you will learn who your real friends and family are. take it slow. all the best to you!

Thanks for the advice guys sorry you had such a tough experience BrokenCloud Your right unhappyguy coming out is process, one im willing to take at my own pace. Thanks again guys

I came out to myself when I was 12. With family, I found the coming out experience is really THEIR JOB--they need to "COME IN". Not that they must convert sexually, but because you KNOW who you are and they don't. So I first tried the traditional coming out when I was 19 and that didn't take. My parents, especially my mom, remained in denial until just this year. So that's why I think of this as a coming in process for the family and parents. Some people take forever to come in, and so you may get tired of waiting and move on. But if the person is important to you, you try to compromise....I know the feeling...you are excited so you hope those who love you will share in your excitement. Remember they are new at this, and must go through a process of coming in. If a person is important to you, be patient with them and let them come in at their own pace. Your relationship will grow stronger that way, partly because they will see you cared enough to wait for them to come in when they were ready. It's basic give and take.
Have fun with this new awareness!!

sorry I can't figure out the multi quote thing; part of this is messing up the words of bb.

Nice to know of your experiences shipping thanks for the advice - your totally right, i need to be sensitive towards my familys and friends feelings, it might take them awhile to come to terms with everything and thats perfectly ok, i love them all so much so im willing to wait and let them ask as many questions as they like. Thanks once again guys, your all fab :fab:

What do you mean by "compromise" in this context? Once you've come out, you can't go back in - can you?

Or is it more like: I've told them I'm gay, but I'm not going to mention it or my lover again unless they bring it up.

HI bb2023

I'm bisexual too but my wife (now ex) had a negative reaction to that and she says she can't forgive me as she wanted me to tell her at the beginning of the relationship not before we got married. It's a double edge swords - damn if you do, damn if you don't. If I told her at the beggining she may have rejected me, it's not good to tell all your secrets at the beginning of a relationship. Are you married? If so would your husband let you meet up with a woman? Or are you single and enjoying both sexes at different times?

Hi Purpleheart,

Im single at the moment, ive just come out of a long relationship which ended because i told my bf i was possibly bisexual (this was before i came out) and having sexual urges towards women. He basically hit the roof and said he wasn't prepared to date someone who couldn't make a choice between either sex - i tried explaining it wasn't a choice and that i was with him because i loved him and was just experiencing urges (i didn't even have a desire to cheat or anything) and sadly after some pretty heated arguments it all came to an end.

Since then ive found that im more interested in women. I don't know if this is a reaction to what happened or if its just how it is right now but ive seen a few people since i split from my ex and to be honest i think im more interested in the sex right now than a relationship. Im just enjoying being young and exploring my new found acceptance. Im sorry to hear what happened with your wife, but i know completely where your coming from as the same thing happened to me - i agree its difficult to know when to tell people and to anticipate how their going to react. Im not sure how my family are going to take it, quite a few people on my dads side of the family are gay so i think they'd be ok with it but my mum and her mum etc are quite conservative so im a little unsure as to what to do to be honest. Anyway - thanks for your response, its nice to hear from other bisexual individuals.

bb2023, I've never posted in this forum, but your post really interested me. My nephew is gay. He has not come out to anyone, and my sister is totally convinced he just hasn't found the right girl yet. However, I have suspected since he was little that he's gay, and now that he has moved to another state, I'm convinced that he's gay. We're friends on facebook, and I've seen the photos he's posting, and he changed his avatar to a really feminized version of himself (he's really GORGEOUS and hot, BTW). My sister saw his avatar and hit the roof and badgered him until he changed it. Even though she is also friends with him on facebook, she still cannot see the writing on the wall.

The point of this huge long post (and I do have one ), is that many people already know about your sexuality and are just waiting for you to tell them. I will on occasion drop hints to my nephew that I do not judge anyone ever for their sexuality. However, it seems like it would be disrespectful to just announce, "hey, I know you're gay and I'm cool with it." So, pick the people who have dropped those hints and tell them first, so you have some support when you finally get around to telling the people like my sister. Good luck!

Hi bb, thank you for coming out to us!

For me, I've always known I was bisexual. I came to be at peace with it by seeing my sexuality as a spectrum, a fluctuating and ever-changing aspect of my life, and by understanding that I happen to fall for the human, not necessarily the gender. Think of it as a special ability .

Regarding coming out to my family, in the end I decided it would be best to come out only in the event that I have a serious relationship with a woman (which never happened). Less unnecessary drama that way.

No matter what, we're here to help you navigate your way through this!

My kids are cool and summeryoga - thank you for your responses. I think my mum might suspect im gay - she used my PC once and saw my screensaver of angelina jolie scantily clad (!) and that raised a few eyebrows lol that and apparently i keep looking at girls when we're out - this was her observation although i think shes just saying anything to edge it out of me.

Never knew you were bi summeryoga - nice to know we have something else in common, its nice to know i can count on your support, lots of hugs my lovely

"Coming out" is not really something that I understand because of the era that I grew up in and my personal background. I realized that I was Bisexual when I was about 20, but I found out very quickly that revealing that could be disastrous to my career and to many personal relationships. To this day, I am a latent-closetted Bisexual who has strong desires, but is lacking in what I feel is the right opportunity. I know if I were to reveal my true identify to friends and family, it would be a horrible mistake. I hope that your experience and your plans work out better for you.