Issues

I am a very sexual person... My head seems to go all over the place... It goes from wanting to have sex with pretty much anyone I see then to a relationship with them if they are relationship material (not marriered, male all that)
I am usually always horny.. I dont understand whats wrong with me... Talking about sex also gets me turned on.. Porn.. It alll.... I want a relationship with someone but i cant hold it in.. i always give in.. i tried masterbating.. its not as good... i like the personal contact...

It is very difficult to be sexual and celibate not by choice. When I have been in this situation I have been miserable. I do not know what advice to offer that takes away that loneliness. But this is what I did. I worked very hard and invested money in my masturbatory life. You are worth it, and I am worth it, and I know you said masturbating is not as good--well, in many ways that is true. However, I found that I could greatly improve my solo sex life. I spend quality time cuddling myself. I woo myself with love songs and comfy clean sheets and soft lighting. I spend time thinking, really reflecting on what turns me on and I get to know my sexual brain better. This is a respectful way to treat myself as a sexual being, and it actually is a turn-on to be respected as a sexual being. The only downside is that you are the one respecting yourself so you're still alone but don't dwell on the alone part if it can't be helped. Dwelling on the fact that no one is with you won't help.

So in addition to getting to know my sexual self and desires, I invested in expensive, good quality sex toys. I would buy myself one for my birthday and for Christmas, and now I have 5 or 6 so I have lots to choose from. High-quality toys are expensive, but they make a big difference, and we deserve quality. So I guess my point is that this period of your life can help you learn to LOVE yourself. Enhance this experience: I think about someone I wish I could be with and I whisper my name pretending that the whisper of my name is not me, but the other person I desire. I imagine the other person wanting me desperately and I whisper my name. It actually took me many years to love myself enough that I could do this; I mean, that I could whisper my own name. It feels awkward and lonely and stupid at first. But don't give up! Once you are able to do this--to whisper your own name with desire or to speak your own name with a love cry into the darkness--you will realize how good masturbation can be, and it won't always hurt so much like it does now. It sounds hard, I know, and it IS hard. It is really worth it. It is worth it sexually; more than that, it can heal mental and emotional wounds. Good luck.

Ditto basically all of what shipping has said Enhancing what you already have is a great way to feel better and help you come to terms with how the situation currently stands. Maybe you can also talk to others who feel similiar to you and help support each other? A lot of people experience what your currently going through - your definately not alone. Either that or you could try and seek professional help if you don't already - especially if the urges become all consuming and start distracting you from other areas of your life. Good luck.

People with BPD tend to be highly sexual. I can give you my biological theories regarding the amygdala, poor emotional control, extreme neediness and freudian sexual development but I won't.

You cannot control fantasies or thoughts but you can control behavior. Start with figuring out what your core values are regarding sex and go from there.