I am not sure whether I should be admitting this but I have suffered from social anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember (I'm 22!) and because of this I am incredibly embarassed to say that I have never had a girlfriend (I've never even been kissed), I have never had a job and I can't drive. Because I have a phobia in social situations I have stayed inside and used porn to make up for it (which has led to porn-induced erectile dysfunction). My libido is very low, I no longer fantasise, I no longer become sexually excited, I don't feel my feel orgasms anymore nor do I have any sensitivity in my penis. I was lying on my back but although it was quite a solid erection it wasn't standing upright, it was lying on my stomach. I then noticed a slight bend at the tip of my penis and started touching it to see if I could feel the bend. Also, I have a strange situation where my sinuses produce too much mucous and deposit it at the back of my throat whenever I ejaculate. After finding myself with an erection after waking up I had the same feeling in my throat and I sometimes get both headaches and stomach aches. I'm in a place that I really don't want to be in. I am absolutely desperate for a girlfriend but I doubt there is any girl in the world that would want me. I'm only 22 FFS!

I think that I'm a nice guy but you know what they say about them...

Can I ask a naive question, what exactly is porn because I see attractive women on TV and I want to masturbate over them, but I am stopping myself. Does this count as porn?

[with or without you]

I can't help you with your male problems because I'm a girl, but I'm 30 and in the same boat. I have social anxiety and have never been in a relationship before. I'm pretty sure there aren't many guys out there who are interested in screwing a 30-going-on-31 year old virgin.

Porn is the specific genre of entertainment that shows explicit sexual activity. It's not an experience or response, if you will. What you're describing is your arousal due to being stimulated, in this case seeing a hot woman, which is normal. Beautiful people on TV is not porn, lol. I hope this helped you a little, good luck

Thanks.

Can I just say that there are guys out there for you. Personally, I would find a virgin far more attractive than somebody who has already had sex. I find it incredibly unattractive when I hear women bragging about how many men they've slept with. I don't want a woman solely for sex, it would be nice, but give me a friendly, kind-hearted, caring girl with a great personality over a sex addict any day of the week. I would definitely prefer somebody who isn't very experienced.

Don't start believing that you've missed the boat because no matter how big the odds are against you, no matter what obstacles you have to face, there is always hope.

[Inedible]

It sounds like you really want to change your life. I would like to suggest something if you are going to be around your computer several hours per day - overnight as you sleep is actually best.

http://www.subliminalmp3s.com/

You can sign up to receive 3 free samples. There are 5 different versions of all of their subliminal MP3s, and the one I tend to use most is the "silent" version. I play them with the volume turned up and let the files repeat all night.

I think the first free sample was Harmony. It helps you to feel more relaxed and confident.

^Thanks very much, I'll have a look at them.

Hi emre43, im sorry your struggling atm

I would definately get a doctor to check out the physical side of your problems and see if its something that can be sorted out with meds. As for the social phobia, are you seeing a therapist? I think the more you try talking to people the easier it should become. Perhaps go out shopping one morning and ask someone for the time or where a certain place is - it sounds silly, but this really helped me when i developed a speech impediment and lost my confidence being around other people. As for the whole porn issue - if its becoming an addiction again you might want to seek help. Obviously nothing beats real physical contact with someone but of course thats not always an option and at least your taking responsibility for your needs. Don't worry about loosing your virginity - it will happen eventually and at least this way, its most likely going to be with someone you really like and respect. Good luck sweetie, keep posting on here and if you need to chat feel free to PM me anytime

[Purple Heart]

Hi emre

Don't be influence by the media or societal expectations. You would be surprised but there are many women and men in their 20s who are still virgins. Back in my 20s I was a virgin at your age too so don't stress. In relation to porn used for masturbation, sometimes it can be used as an avoidant thing if you have intimacy issues with the opposite sex. I suspect you may have psychological issues pertaining to a deterioration in your libido/erections. Do you see a therapist? It may be good to continue a discussion with one so as to explore what underlying issues there maybe pertaining to your sexual issues.

[with or without you]

Originally Posted by emre43

Thanks.

Can I just say that there are guys out there for you. Personally, I would find a virgin far more attractive than somebody who has already had sex. I find it incredibly unattractive when I hear women bragging about how many men they've slept with. I don't want a woman solely for sex, it would be nice, but give me a friendly, kind-hearted, caring girl with a great personality over a sex addict any day of the week. I would definitely prefer somebody who isn't very experienced.

Don't start believing that you've missed the boat because no matter how big the odds are against you, no matter what obstacles you have to face, there is always hope.

Aw, that's really sweet, thanks. Sorry to hijack your thread like that.

And I agree with the other poster - you might want to consider therapy. My experience in therapy has been really great, my big problems deal with my self-confidence and not trusting my instincts, and I never want to believe what my therapist is trying to get me to see

Originally Posted by with or without you

Aw, that's really sweet, thanks. Sorry to hijack your thread like that.

And I agree with the other poster - you might want to consider therapy. My experience in therapy has been really great, my big problems deal with my self-confidence and not trusting my instincts, and I never want to believe what my therapist is trying to get me to see

Don't be silly, you didn't hijack my thread. As you say you're in a similar situation to me (without the male problems of course ) so it was very relevant to the discussion

I have been in therapy for just over a year and my experience with it is quite similar to yours. My self-confidence is low and I don't trust my instincts either but I have been improivng. I used to have problems in believing that my therapist was genuine until I realised that it doesn't matter whether she believes it or not, it is me that needs to believe it. Anyway, I digress, I am not sure that I can pluck up the courage to tell her about this situation...

[Inedible]

Some other things. L-arginine tablets, an amino acid. Take 3 grams per day on an empty stomach with water, all at once, early in the day. Drink green tea, especially if you can sweeten it with raw honey. A multivitamin with minerals is good. From time to time a colloidal trace mineral supplement is helpful - but some of them taste like mud, so be careful there.

If you are at all into traditional chinese medicine, and you know about yin and yang, you can look up yang foods and herbs online. Eat and drink more yang and cut back on yin.

Ginseng is a good herb.

Also, you are probably low on zinc.

[joshuaty2010]

As my source on my sexual matters I do read article from menshealthinstitute.org. I know it will help you as well to answer also your question about sexual matter.

Good Luck!

[CantExplain]

This is probably not your core issue, but I think learning to drive would boost your confidence and help you to feel better about yourself.