Uniform came in the mail a week early! :O

Got 7 new views and one watcher, so that mean someone is seriously considering buying it! I'm so excited! It will be nice to get my money back.

Not to mention the value of a lesson learned BTW you have competitors offering the same thing for a lower price so be prepared to relist or negotiate. But you never know about ebay...I sold something once for almost 10 times what I paid for it. Hey...did you buy a 75mm Porsche throttle body a few years back??? Just kidding I hope your sale works out.

I know, that is another mistake learned. I bought the first thing I saw and did not bother to compare it to other items.

I am selling it for what I bought it for, I want my money back and I am hoping that someone will buy it...Wish me luck!

I've already wished you luck twice Third time charm...I wish you luck on the sale Doc!

I wish you luck~!

:P Hope you get your money back + some.

haha thanks xD

Should I say it again? lol

Well, I woke up and four more views came while I was sleeping...it must be working then!

I wrote to Jacob tonight--my former imaginary friend. He's the wisest and he'd know what to do...I wish he was real so he could tell me what's going on in my head.

I wrote to him about my fantasies...about Emma...meeting her and her story...It's so well thought out and I'm worried this might be one of those "phases." The kind of phases that lasts 7 years...I don't want that, or maybe I do and I just want the rest of the world to be okay with it...but I don't know what to do...this has been the longest month of my life! =[

You okay Doc?

not really... =/

didn't think so ...hang in there

My uniform did not sell, so I had to relist it at $99...I am so bummed =[

Aww, I'm sorry. D: That might also be why certain people were browsing the page, waiting for the price to drop.. >:| Darn stingy people.

I was afraid that might happen. Craigslist might be something to think about but that would require personal contact. I don't think you want that. Probably not a good idea. Should I wish you good luck or you think that would jinx you?

Bah, I jinxed myself fantasizing about it selling...

I did post an ad on craigslist even before...I got a reply that said "$40. Heil Hitler!" I did not reply...

CL has a lot of dbags unfortunately.
Your uniform will sell...it just may not sell for as much as you hoped. If you can wait, list it for $5 less than the lowest priced competition. If you're in a hurry...slash the price.
Think of it this way...the lesson learned just became even more valuable

Tomorrow I finally get to see my T...I am so nervous, scared really...it's easy telling you guys about the Nazi fantasy...but to tell someone face-to-face? I've only done a few sessions with him, but the last time he saw me I was having fantasies about gay men...so how am I going to explain the drastic shift from gay men to Nazis? I know it's because my sex life is nonexistant and my life in general is so dull which is probably why I am looking for a sense of danger and excitement...but I'm so nervous.

When I had my my T about the imaginary characters, he did not focus on them and the fantasy side to it, but more on what was causing them in the first place. I'm sure that's what is going to happen tomorrow with the Nazis, not focusing on the fantasy part but more of the cause...

I don't feel prepared about what to talk about...I have done a little rehearsing, but then it goes off into the fantasies and I lose track...

I need to keep it short and simple because he's going to go off of what I'm saying and shift it into the cause part...

So it started this month with Hitler fantasies, which had started when I learned about the Holocaust in the 9th grade but snapped out of it when the lesson was over...

After I had purchased the uniform, I set the appointment. You know about the uni fiasco...

The weekend after I went on a camping trip and the new characters had formed and since then I've created an elaborate story of their lives as Nazis.

Other mentionable things are dreams of Nazis almost every night, watching movies about Nazis, drawing swastikas in the shower, drawing pictures of Nazi zombies, listening to German music, learning German, among other things...

I've been thinking about this day all month and I don't feel prepared for it. I want his opinion about letting the fantasies run its course, or how I'm supposed to carry out my fantasies. To be honest, I don't want to stop fantasizing. I like it and it's not hurting anyone in real life. And I don't think it can get any worse than Nazis...

Just be open and honest and the rest will take care of itself. I'm sure he has heard much worse. You'll be fine Doc

I'm certain no one else in my area gets turned on by Nazi uniforms...It's going to be so awkward =/

Just got home from the appointment with T and it went great! He completely understood what was going on and he told me my feelings were normal and that it was perfectly okay to express them in such a way. We talked alot about supressed feelings and I get to listen to my ipod for "urge surfing"/music therapy. I'm so happy that everything went okay and that I was able to get my characters and fantasies off my chest, and he gave me the okay to continue with my outfit.

Yay!

Moving on to my outfit...we haven't fully discussed how to proceed with it, but he said that it's okay to wear in the comfort of my bedroom and encourgages that I should go through with the outfit because not many girls are willing or able to explore their sexuality like I'm willing to. I'm so excited, I just bought the hat for it...and this time I made SURE it fits! I got my head measured and I found a seller who had it in my size, handmade, and it was a really good deal...under $70 including shipping. It should come in the mail either on the 8th or the 10th. And it's shipping from within the US so I should be able to return it if something is wrong and get a full refund, but hopefully I will not need to. I'm so excited!

http://i45.tinypic.com/t9flle.jpg

Just to let you know, ( I have never told anyone this ) but I have had a fantasy for as long as I could remember about being with a Nazi ( sexually ) ..... ...... And what really made it real for me was when I saw Schindler's List ( with Ralph Fiennes ) he was so sexxy and powerful in that movie.... SO trust me you are NOT alone!!!!!

Okay...just remember the history of the men who wore this uniform.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allgeme...on_and_service

http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/...ocaust/SS.html

My jaw literally dropped to the floor :O



Thank you so much for sharing this Mommyof2girls! I am so relieved to know that I am not alone.

My biggest downside of dressing up is that I would much rather prefer having sex with someone dressed as a Nazi (or two or three). Sigh, I'm gonna have to do all the work around here.

My T said that the Nazi characters in my head are a rather healthy way of expressing emotions that I bottle up, and the fantasies are an allure of power and dominance and excitement. Nazis are very exciting and powerful, aren't they?

Thank you again for sharing. I really appreciate it.

Thank you George...

Well, now that I've got it off my chest with my T...now what? We're trying something called urge surfing, where I listen to certain music when I'm feeling certain emotions and just feel the emotion rather than ignoring it.

But which direction do I take this now that we've covered the fantasies? I did not ask him about education, which I had meant to but forgot. In fact, we did not discuss stopping the fantasies, he rather encouraged them. We both know I'm not supporting Nazism but indulging in a BDSM fantasy to satisfy real-life anxieties.

I have a month to figure out the next topic for discussion, and I like to have a plan because I don't want to waste my time or his time. There's the education side of the fantasies like George suggested, but I think the T is more interested in my emotions and how I deal with them rather than the characters and fantasies themselves. Any suggestions?

Yeah .... for me it is deff about the whole power issue.... I have always found myself drawn to men that hold some kind of power....