can you teach a guy to give you orgasms manually?

This guy comes close to doing it but not quite and I have to finish it myself. I am not complaining - the orgasms are really high quality this way, much better than what I can get via masturbation, but - I have to participate. Ex H knew how to do it without my assistance. I never taught him - he knew himself. Ex 1st H, too, to a lesser extent, and another very dexterous lover as well.

What gives now? Is it a teachable skill?

Sure it is a teachable skill. You can to teach anyone anything. My poor H was doing alright w/ oral but totally missed up the ending. To me if you miss up the ending then the whole process was in vain. (maybe it's just me) I had to demonstrate w/ a bj. I showed him do this, this speed, switch thing up and try this. I let hem get closer to the end result and showed him when the time comes do this. Like this. Explain if pressure is to direct it's not so good (for me personally) Stop and start and stop and start.(works for me) See I do give bj's even in the face of difficult circumstances. I don't do it never, it's just a strong prefrence not to.

I have also had my H put his hand on top of mine while I do what I do. Weird but it works.

I think I like your idea of putting his hand on top of mine. I will try it tonight.

Absolutely, as Big Mama said, it's teachable. People seem to have this idea that everyone they have sex with will know how to please a woman (or a man), as if all women (and men) respond to the same stimuli in the same way. Some people like it a little rough, some like feather-light touches, some want some squeezing, others take a licking, and some like a little of everything! As long as you have a willing student, he can learn.

Definitely it can. In the past I gave instruction like saying "down a bit, up a bit, a bit harder, like this etc" then they adjust as you want and eventually they will know. M.

Anything can be taught. lol If we can teach a man to perform surgery on the brain with no ill effects, I trust we can teach this as well.

It is all a matter of communication. Tell him what you like, and offer instruction. That's the only way he can learn.

One small note: In giving instruction, do it as the_submissive was saying, like, "A little softer/more gentle/harder/firmer," "Do little circles like this" (and show him), and "I like when you do this." Try not to be too critical unless he's just not getting that something is hurting you or making you uncomfortable or chafed. "Don't do that!" might seem a bit snappish.

Success. He got it. I am so happy. Masturbating in his arms was nice, but not having to do the work is way better. There really IS a difference.

I did not do much teaching, but he did somehow get it.

After four months of irregular sexual encounters, interrrupted by his trips and one trip of mine.

But who cares about the months, as long as he got there, right?..

Congratulations. i am able to manually stimulate my partner to completion and it is a good feeling because there is little in it for me in terms of physical pleasure and she seems to respond strongly.

This guy also enjoyed his own thing more AFTERWARDS because he felt that with what he called a "checkmark" checked off, he was free to enjoy himself without worries, feelings of inadequacy, etc.

While I may not like to think of my orgasm as somebody's checkmark, but, still, I definitely understand where he is coming from.

Yes unfortunately it does feel that way a lot of the time. I think it's important to have sessions where you absolve him of any responsibility to pleasure you. Make it all about him. And vice versa.

take turns - good idea!

Yup. Normally I take her to completion manually and in return i am allowed to suckle on her. By that i mean when lying in bed together that she holds me to her breast and ocasionally i put my mouth to it.

I think guys and girls have a different approach when it comes to masturbation. I can't speak for all girls or guys, but when I am by myself it is like a speed run to finish. The same philosophy doesn't work on my wife. When I use my hand on her I had to learn how to build thing up until she finishes. It usually starts out by kissing, caresses, and touching her all over, and then tease a little by touching around there, so when I finally do she is craving it. Then to start out slow gradually and at this point I can tell by the way she moans and the tenseness in her body of when to go fast, slower, hard softer. At first she had to show me what she liked, and tell me more/less. I think it is definitely teachable. I think guys or at least I did started to heavy. It is what works for us, but not for her. Everyone is different and I think you just have to work a little and tell him how to do it and what feels good.

Mine likes to hear when he's doing things right, and of course also when things aren't quite right, so he can improve and keep me happy. Communication needs to exist

Illegal Toilet you are absolutely right about taking turns. It is nice to know you are not going to have to pay back the favor that night. That removes a great deal of stress for me personally. Nothing worse then having to get your show on the road so to speak so you can let the other have his fun. Enjoy knowing you can repay another time is nice. It is nice to repay during that time of the month, when things might otherwise be off limits. That sets a clear boundary that this is for you and you only cause you do not want to mess w/ me right now.