[hamster-bamster]

I am just doing it as an anti-anxiety technique. I have a lot of situational anxiety and am hoping that reading your stories would amuse, enchant, and distract me. I am waiting for my neuropsych evaluation results which are due back in a week and once they are back, I will file a motion to gain visitation rights to see my daughters. Everything hinges on this neuropsych eval now and waiting is so difficult. I wish I could hibernate for a week.

Since I am asking this question, I need to volunteer with my answer. It is not going to be spectacular, for sure. In fact, it will be boring as hell, and a bit funny.

I had been having oral sex since 19, but no vaginal sex. Then, one day when I was 20 or even 21, I had friendly sex with someone named Kevin Smith, who was an American living in Europe. He was 1-2 years my senior and a good friend. With this kind of common name, you can imagine that I cannot locate him now, having lost trace of him many years ago. No FB no Google no anything can help me track him down. Kevin's close friend was my first (LDR) boyfriend who lived in Seattle. He (bf) was my age. With him I had oral sex only, but Kevin and everyone else assumed that my r/s with my first bf was fully consummated (not true). With Kevin, I had one, maybe two fellatio encounters at parties - just friendly, no loving feelings - and one day we actually had vaginal sex. I was not aroused because I was just being friendly and that was all; still, it did not hurt me a bit. There was no blood. It was all entirely matter-of-factly. Kevin was drunk (small quantities of alcohol made him drunk, which was very funny) and I still do not know whether he was aware of what happened. He was of a very high opinion of me, in general, and I now would have liked if I could to find him and tell him this story - I imagine that he would probably feel a little flattered that he, oops, took my virginity, and a little embarrassed too, and a little, well, "what did I do to deserve this honor?". But... a needle in a haystack.

That was it - absolutely no drama, no suspense, no pain, no tears, no climax, no nothing. "nothing to write home about", for sure.

I had sex with Kevin a couple more times, entirely on friendly terms (actually, also feeling a bit maternal towards him because he was small, short, and completely lost in a foreign country). I then went on to have a second bf locally and then a third bf locally who would become my first H and only with him (third bf) I started coming from manual clitoral stimulation. Before, sex was just my being very nice to boys.

[the submissive]

I lost my virginity at 15, he was 17 nearly 18 I think. He used me for sex, made out he cared, then I found out he had a whole load of girls he was using exactly the same! I don't say I regret it, I just kind of wish I hadn't been such a little slut when I was younger and allow myself to be used! X

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by the submissive

I lost my virginity at 15, he was 17 nearly 18 I think. He used me for sex, made out he cared, then I found out he had a whole load of girls he was using exactly the same! I don't say I regret it, I just kind of wish I hadn't been such a little slut when I was younger and allow myself to be used! X

Oh, I am sorry! I am very sorry!

[the submissive]

I think it should of bothered me more than it did actually! I just thought, "what a d**k" and moved on to flirting with the next guy. I can't believe my younger self!! X

[hamster-bamster]

I guess for some people it would be a traumatic recollection. Not everyone had a free ride.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by the submissive

I think it should of bothered me more than it did actually! I just thought, "what a d**k" and moved on to flirting with the next guy. I can't believe my younger self!! X

The fewer "should haves" the better, I think. You clearly survived and came out OK.

[hamster-bamster]

I do not understand why there are no posts. The thread about whom people fantasize about while masturbating is flourishing. People keep posting to that thread. I am asking about reality and get no stories. Why does fantasy win over reality with such a large margin? My thread about cat-sitting has solicited more interesting responses today. Is cat-sitting a sexier subject than sexual debuts?

[Raindropvampire]

If I had to guess maybe because for a lot of people their first time was traumatic. I know mine was. It's part of my PTSD. Every T has also agreed it's why I'm hypersexual. And then for some people it's a very personal question. I know tons of people that talk about fantasy way easier than reality

[JLarissaDragon]

I was essentially raped at 14, by a friend of my older brother at a university party. I was threatened that if I did not submit, I would be taken out into the country and dumped off. No it was not pretty and really traumatic. A year later a boy friend talked me into it and I became quite promiscuous after that. Unplanned pregnancies, miscarriages, a shotgun marriage, and an ugly divorce followed later.

I suspect that for a lot of people here it was not the most romantic evening. Unfortunately I was totally unprepared for sex as a teenager. I had to learn years later to develop a positive attitude and learn to really love/enjoy sex for the wonderful, pleasurable experience that it was meant to be

[the submissive]

Yes, a lot of women I know had bad experiences when losing their virginities, I suppose you wouldn't want to talk about it if that was the case. But I too am just as curious as you about the answers from others. x

[Bipolar mom]

I was 15 and had 3 beers, I was drunk at a party. (I was on prescription meds and in the middle of a manic episode). He was a boy I thought I was in love with from 12. The next day he emailed me and told me not to tell anyone bc he had a girlfriend. I regret it.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Bipolar mom

I was 15 and had 3 beers, I was drunk at a party. (I was on prescription meds and in the middle of a manic episode). He was a boy I thought I was in love with from 12. The next day he emailed me and told me not to tell anyone bc he had a girlfriend. I regret it.

You must be pretty young. I lost my virginity in the pre-historic age, before the advent of email.

On a serious note, I am sorry that he took advantage of you in such a nasty way.

[sallyjoseph]

I lost my virginity at 21 and Losing my virginity was one of the most painful experiences of my life, and I've had major surgery. I don't quite know why it hurt that badly...perhaps I wasn't lubricated enough? It hurt terribly, and I ended up making him stop.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by sallyjoseph

I lost my virginity at 21 and Losing my virginity was one of the most painful experiences of my life, and I've had major surgery. I don't quite know why it hurt that badly...perhaps I wasn't lubricated enough? It hurt terribly, and I ended up making him stop.

Surgery was probably anesthesized, and losing your virginity was not, and that is what must have made it so painful.

[hamster-bamster]

I got it - the reality of losing the virginity in less than pleasant circumstances must have been grim whereas the fantasy that accompanies masturbation is usually pleasant, and that is why people post fantasies and do not post stories from real life.

[Maven]

I'd have posted sooner, but I had to get to sleep yesterday (but only ended up getting one hour of sleep!!!) since I had college in the afternoon.

I felt I was used, and that I should have waited for someone else (I was 22, he was 49), but it happened in a motel room. It hurt, but at least my curiosity was satisfied. He actually said afterwards, "You're a woman now!"

Funny thing...just a few weeks ago, I thought I'd see if I could find him on Facebook, and I did!!! I didn't contact him (believe me, no love lost!), but I was curious. Here's the creepy thing: All his photos (not many) are OLD. I remember one photo was the same one he sent to me (I placed a personal ad, he answered, and then we dated for a short time) all those years ago. He'd be in his 70's now, I believe, and his photos all show him young. His timeline shows his real age, but I don't think most people would notice that. Guess he's still trying to get young girls.

[Big Mama]

I was raped and and made to preform oral sex and the guy did take me out in the country and leave me. He came back but I had to preform in order to get back in the truck. Speaking about vaginal virginity loss well it was w/ that creep. He was careful not to leave incriminating evidence. There was penitration just not w/ things that could get you pregnent. It was just not a good thing to say the least.

Then I met a guy who was a drug dealer but he was the official first. You know I know drug dealer sounds bad but he was the most romantic, most giving, most concerned man I'd ever met. He still sticks in my memory as a super sensitive guy.

When I lost my verginity to him we missed around and he wanted to but was stoned. I told him that was not how I wanted my first time to be. He understood and never pressured me any. He thinked me for being honest and doing what I believed in. The following weekend we went back to his folks house. They were gone. He had cleaned his room, turned on the heater was so NOT stoned and we had sex then. He was kind and gentle. He made me feel loved, more loved then I have felt w/ any other man I have been w/ including my H. It was not painful, there was no blood, he promised that better sex would come that it was a learning process. He gave me a warm wet wash cloth and cleaned me off. (weird but sweet) He told me to expect blood, pain, and even maybe to feel dirty and need a shower even though I was not dirty. I saw him two more weeks. His grandma passes away and I stopped in unannounced to find him w/ his other girlfriend. I was hurt but I was ok. He was kind and gentle and I'll never forget him. As for him and the other girl they now have 6 kids and he got her pregnent the night I cought him. They are married and he still has a drug habit. Pot is his drug of choice. He is still married to the girl. Good for him. It could have been me who got pregnent. Think god I didn't.

Thinking back. I still don't regret my choice of who to lose my verginity to. He was a prize to be had and he was the gift to me and was worth every ounce of heart ache. I always got the dud, or the left over guy but I got the prize and he choose to share his life w/ me for a small time frame.

[ickydog2006]

I gave my virginity (I don't think of it in terms as lost), on my wedding night when I was 20. And oh my gosh it hurt like hell. I'm not sure if it even counts since he was no where close to all the way in when I said stop. It took about three mths before success and it still hurt so badly, but at least it was quick (2 minutes tops). Sex was and has always been painful since and no doc seems to know why. I have discovered **** desensitization cream recently and that makes things exponentially better. But yeah, sex is not the most pleasant topic for me, and fantasy is far better because that requires no pain, even though fantasizing doesn't happen much either since meds cause basically zero sex drive.

[nicoleb2]

I lost mine to my husband (was my bf at that time). Took things slow and did what i was comfortable with. No pain at all

[shezbut]

My first time was certainly nothing to be proud of.

A friend and I were hitchiking, to nowhere in particular, and got picked up by a guy about 10 years older than I was. I was 16 y.o. We went to his place and had some wine coolers and mary jane. The guy and I began making out in the bathroom, while my friend rocked out in the living room.

He and I had sex leaning up against the bathroom counter. It was okay, no pain ~ but I didn't have a desire to see him again...I don't have the faintest recollection of his name or looks. He drove us back to my place later in the afternoon and that was it.

[amandalouise]

I lost my virginity when I was younger than 5 yrs old. story behind it I was abused by an adult male who preferred children...

this may also answer your post about wondering why this thread isnt doing as well as your other thread...many people on psych central lost their virginity due to child sexual abuse.. (At least thats my experience with reading members past posts) they may not be ready to open those wounds up for others to read about for the purposes of as you stated in your first post...."hoping that reading your stories would amuse, enchant, and distract me" ......

my suggestion... when I get interested in wondering how people lose their virginity and its for my own enjoyment and distraction I type in the search bar the words ...stories of ... and then what I am looking for.. there are many many websites out there for people who want to read stories real or not real about all kinds of things including stories about peoples first time. Maybe this will get you to those stories you are looking for as a distraction and way to entertain yourself. Im sorry you're not getting what you are looking for in this thread but it may also be partly because psych central is meant to be a mental health website where people can go to get support and help with their mental health issues. my .....opinion .....is the sexual boards are here to help people get support and help with their sexual problems. Im not surprised more people havent posted because even for me it feels kind of weird that someone wants me to go into detail about how i lost my virginity so they have something to laugh at, enjoy, amuse their self with what happened with the first time I had sex.