Question for the non-single ladies

Do you get puppy eyes about your beau? I haven't had puppy eyes about someone attainable since....never. The only people I ever get that feeling for are the people I fantasize about, who are not attainable. I find it hard to love someone that I can have, likely because I'm afraid of getting hurt or used. There is this guy I am dating that I like, but I don't feel that lovey-dovey feeling. That spark. I haven't been dating him long, but we have great chemistry and I would like to continue dating him, but I'm too afraid to even let him kiss me. If I do, it would be that I love him back and that I'm ready for a commitment or that I would be doing things I don't necessarily want to do. How do I know if I like someone if I don't have that lovey-dovey feeling?

Hmmm. Are you thinking about lust? I'm not sure us older ladies get the same kind of crushes as younger girls.

So you have what is called chemistry?

Also, why do you connect kissing with immediate commitment?

I am not so sure the lovey dovey puppy eye stuff is what makes love. Maybe that is good for sex and physical attraction. When I think of my husband I want him to be around, I want to spend time with him, I want to hear his thoughts, I want him to hear mine. I know he has lots of faults but so do I. I do not seek to remold him or remodel him anymore into some kind of ideal man but accept him for who he is. To me I think that is the essence of loving someone. Don't get me wrong, I love his body, I love having sex with him, I love being passionate around him and he knows just how to stir my passions too. But sex, although it feels great, is not equal with love. To love someone entails a great deal more than the physical. In my experience I do not just fall into love, but rather it is an ongoing growing experience. I think we need to find someone with whom we are compatible and with whom we share values, beliefs, and ideals. That takes time and it takes work and it cannot be onesided

I'm afraid to fall in love. I'm afraid of having sex. This guy is everything I am looking for, but I don't want to kiss him because it would give him the impression that I am in love with him or that I want to have sex with him. And how do I know I like him if I don't find physical attraction? I found him attractive when he was dressed up in uniform, but now that we're hanging out I'm too scared to explore him or think about us as a couple. I'm seeing my T the day before I'm going to the concert with him so I'm hoping for some clarity.