[erpal]

At some point it occured to me I might be a lesbian. I am now 22, never even been kissed and I'm very reluctant in trying anything with anyone. Deep down I feel I know the truth, that I am indeed gay, but somehow I convince myself that I'm straight until proven otherwise. My sister says that I'm trying to force this on myself, just because I found out that some famous people I admire are gay or lesbian. I don't know. It seems irrational to do something like that, I don't know. But I do get very influenced by the films I watch or books I read, so... I dont' know, I'm probably just in denial. I just want to fall in love so that I know at last. But then again, I don't think I can handle it considering all the problems in my head. I don't know. Whatever.

[LiteraryLark]

How can you understand what sexually excites you unless you figure it out yourself? How do you know you are a lesbian if you haven't kissed a guy or a girl?
Books and magazines can't influence who you want to be with. You have to go through the experience of kissing and falling in love to understand who you want to be with. Don't push yourself to be someone you are not.

I feel the same way. I'm 24, by the way, in case it matters. I have kissed a guy though, back when I was 15. I know that I was very much attracted to him until we made out. Then I barely wanted to be around him. He was a fantastic person and we had fantastic emotional chemistry—but that's all. And that's pretty much all the ever happens. With girls or guys, it's only physical or emotional. So basically kissing doesn't necessarily tell you anything (unless you kiss a lot of people maybe).

There was a guy last year that I think I might have been attracted to him both physically and emotionally, but I scared him away.

I don't know what my sexuality is—I just say "bisexual" because I could go either way I guess.

I just hate having "crushes"...I think I like a guy now because we have emotional chemistry (go figure). I've been testing out the physical attraction in my imagination, but I don't think I could do it in real life. No matter how much I like them, there's always an "Ew...no" in the back of my head.

But I rarely like women, other than looking at a girl and thinking, "She's hot". There's been 2 or 3 that I guess I had a "crush" on, but still I don't know.

The older I get, the more confused I get.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by erpal

At some point it occured to me I might be a lesbian. I am now 22, never even been kissed and I'm very reluctant in trying anything with anyone. Deep down I feel I know the truth, that I am indeed gay, but somehow I convince myself that I'm straight until proven otherwise. My sister says that I'm trying to force this on myself, just because I found out that some famous people I admire are gay or lesbian. I don't know. It seems irrational to do something like that, I don't know. But I do get very influenced by the films I watch or books I read, so... I dont' know, I'm probably just in denial. I just want to fall in love so that I know at last. But then again, I don't think I can handle it considering all the problems in my head. I don't know. Whatever.

Just table it until it self-resolves, eventually. There are no deadlines.

[sugahorse1]

I was never interested in women, until I had a crush on one when I was 24 or so. I was in a relationship with my boyfriend, so this was a very tricky situation. The chemistry was magic. I now have a crush on another woman and am still with my boyfriend. I know, I'm making life difficult for myself. I know I'm bisexual and my boyfriend says so too ( he found out about the first crush). I also think it's hard to commit to a lesbian lifestyle because society does not yet embrace it entirely. And I do like men too.
Wow - sorry for confusing you further, lol

[NuckingFutz]

NO rushing...take your time. Not a love race ((((((hugs)))))