[worknonit80]

I dreaded this thread for some time now. After today's therapy session I am a hot mess! To address or to not address it, is the big issue right now. I thought that I could leave my erotic transference at the door, that was until I sat down and my entire body was shaky at the site of her. Yep this SUCKS! Not to mention that I have not even asked her yet if she was okay dealing with a lesbian client as she is straight. Now these stupid feelings are throwing themselves into my face. I think she can tell what's happening but wants me to come out and say it? She even said that I was ready to start seeing her every 2 weeks, instead of every week. Yes that hurt a bit, but it is probably for my own good. But if she knows this transference is accuring why won't she hurry it along and why doesn't she come out and just ask me about it. I'm not in love with her at all. I just think she is gorgeous and I feel like a little school boy(girl) around her and its making me look and sound rediculous and is probably hindering my therapy. SOME HELP HERE PLEASE and thank you!!

[hamster-bamster]

Well I am straight but I also think that my female therapist is gorgeous, warm, funny, and a whole host of other wonderful things. I realize very well that if I were a man, I would really be into her.

The therapy is very effective. Why would it hinder therapy to have such feelings?

[worknonit80]

It would hinder it due to the fact I kinda go numb when I see her. Blank in the face and today and I almost dropped my drink out of pure nervousness! I couldn't even process my own thoughts to relay them correctly. If I come out with this I risk losing her.... Ugh!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by worknonit80

It would hinder it due to the fact I kinda go numb when I see her. Blank in the face and today and I almost dropped my drink out of pure nervousness! I couldn't even process my own thoughts to relay them correctly. If I come out with this I risk losing her.... Ugh!

I got it. No, I do not get nervous and I have never dropped a drink - she gives me a cup of tea or a glass of Kombucha every time I see her and I have never dropped a drink or even almost dropped a drink in more than six months.

So, yes, it is quite serious. Agreed.

I do not agree that you would risk losing her if you come out - you are having a garden variety case of transference and she has definitely gotten training on how to deal with it.

[hamster-bamster]

There is a forum here on Psychotherapy and a Sub-Forum on what you are dealing with:

Romantic Feelings Toward My Therapist - Forums at Psych Central

I think it would provide a better venue for your thread. More narrowly to the point.

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I got it. No, I do not get nervous and I have never dropped a drink - she gives me a cup of tea or a glass of Kombucha every time I see her and I have never dropped a drink or even almost dropped a drink in more than six months.

So, yes, it is quite serious. Agreed.

I do not agree that you would risk losing her if you come out - you are having a garden variety case of transference and she has definitely gotten training on how to deal with it.

I beg to differ with one point...all Ts might be trained to deal with it, but some won't deal with it or just can't and terminate/refer the client instead. I am not saying that will happen in this case, but there are NO guarentees when this topic is concerned.
My new T even told me that his T friend automatically refers clients if he finds out they have transference going on (erotic, I assume). He said he was trying to discourage his friend from this pov...I think his T friend needs more therapy of his own. Ugh.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by sorta_fairytale

I beg to differ with one point...all Ts might be trained to deal with it, but some won't deal with it or just can't and terminate/refer the client instead. I am not saying that will happen in this case, but there are NO guarentees when this topic is concerned.
My new T even told me that his T friend automatically refers clients if he finds out they have transference going on (erotic, I assume). He said he was trying to discourage his friend from this pov...I think his T friend needs more therapy of his own. Ugh.

Really? So this is probably something of a modern age. I think in the past, probably because therapy was more of the classical type, they all dealt with erotic transference because they realized that it came with the territory. I mean - a long time ago, probably up until the 1990s. I am not positive though.

So your T's T friend automatically refers clients to... others. And what if the referred client then develops transference AGAIN? Would he/she be referred AGAIN? When will this road end?..

[worknonit80]

Originally Posted by sorta_fairytale

I beg to differ with one point...all Ts might be trained to deal with it, but some won't deal with it or just can't and terminate/refer the client instead. I am not saying that will happen in this case, but there are NO guarentees when this topic is concerned.
My new T even told me that his T friend automatically refers clients if he finds out they have transference going on (erotic, I assume). He said he was trying to discourage his friend from this pov...I think his T friend needs more therapy of his own. Ugh.

Yes there is definately this possibility and with her it could go either way. When she did her first analysis, history check on me, everything points to me most likely having transference with plenty of women in my life. I think she knew this going into it. Everything that comes out of my mouth is just pure transference stuff lately. She has to know. This is sucks.

[worknonit80]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Really? So this is probably something of a modern age. I think in the past, probably because therapy was more of the classical type, they all dealt with erotic transference because they realized that it came with the territory. I mean - a long time ago, probably up until the 1990s. I am not positive though.

So your T's T friend automatically refers clients to... others. And what if the referred client then develops transference AGAIN? Would he/she be referred AGAIN? When will this road end?..

This is horrible isn't it! First of all wether your a counselor, psychologist, social worker, if your are in the business of messing with peoples psyche, than you should be full aware of transference and HOW COMMON it is. You should be totally open with dealing with it. I mean I do chemistry testing all da** day, even if I get scary results I still report it out and feel comfortable reporting that out for the sake of the patients, Why go into a mental health field and not be able to deal with TRANSFERENCE, MAKES NO SENSE!!!!
Okay, me off my soap box, hugs Hamster!

[worknonit80]

I did not mention it to her yesterday, however yesterday felt different. I maybe slowly moving her from I want you status to you'd make a great mom for me, maybe? I finally told her of my mom issues. I now have to write a letter. We shall see how this plays out. Some of the things she said may my mind focus more on being a child. She compared me in age to her own child, even though I'm 10 yrs older. I think that was meaningful to help with the transference. Like I said pretty sure she gets what Im doing/transference without me having disclose it. One day at a time, now onto this letter. This will be the hardest letter I've ever had to write. Peace and love my friends.