Frequent Erection Problem

I have been told by many people that I shouldn't make a big deal of it and that it happens to most of men at a point or two but this has happened to me for the forth time now!
I have absolutely no problem getting an erection during foreplay. but once I put on the condom and start to penetrate, the erection dies and the condom comes off. Needless to mention that when this happens it doesnt come up again no matter I try because it puts me under alot of pressure. I don't wanna freak out but this has happened to me several times and I'm starting to worry.

I'm 26 years old, I'm very athletic and in a very good shape and I follow a healthy diet. Not taking any kind of drugs and I don't drink alcohol either. I'm not really used to using condoms though. and I was kind of addicted to masturbation for the past year but I've stopped for more than 2 months now. and again, I dont have a problem initiating an erection and sometimes I have wet dreams as well, so I guess its not lack of libido problem. but I'm not an expert so I wouldn't know for sure!
This issue is starting to affect my self image, your advice will be highly appreciated.

First off, the pressure will only make it that much worse. Being a guy, I honestly don't know how to tell you how to stop putting pressure on yourself, but I can attest to it making things worse.

Were you worried about the condom coming off the first time it happened? That could have started the ball rolling.

I've only lost an erection once and it was due to a lube we were using. It actually had a bit of a numbing effect on me. You might be having a similar problem with the type of condom you're using, the lubricant might be numbing you somewhat and causing you to lose it. Since the contact is numbed, you won't get it back until it wears off or something.

Another possibility is you're starting to lose it while putting the condom on. You might ask her to do it to keep up the excitement.

So yeah, I would start with mental concerns (like putting pressure on yourself and worry about losing the condom) then consider changing the type of condom or lubricant and finally I would try changing how you put it on.

Hope that helps!

Are you using condoms for STI prevention or pregnancy prevention, or both?

I don't think the problem is with the condom because we decided to stop having sex for 3 days though which she started going on birth control, then we tried without condom. surely you can imagine how how much effort I was trying to keep the erection up this time. and guess what? the erection died upon penetration again WITHOUT condom this time. Now I can tell for certain that I pressured myself too much trying to make this work. I still hope to think its only in my mind and I just don't wanna go on medications at any point. I'm so confused.

For both actually. But still I'd like to believe that it was performance anxiety that killed the erection.

i was just wondering if you could do unprotected fellatios, but I guess not.

did u recently start taking antidepressants? The SSRI types makes men sexually dysfunctional. If so, tell your doc u want some thing else, preferably on the line of bupropion which works totally different!

this question IS the obvious one to ask on a MH board, but it was already answered - the OP pre-empted this obvious question:

Also, Wellbutrin only does good things for some people - to say that it "works totally different" for everybody is way too optimistic because it doesn't.

I missed that!


It DOES indeed work totally different! It's not a SSRI and releases more dopamine on the line of amphetamine, making it a stimulant. I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I was not guaranteeing better results for everyone just stating a fact that it works totally different then SSRI's

sure - Wellbutrin is a medication that is in a class of its own. There are no other such AD's. the way you wrote it, it appeared that not only is it in a class of its own, but also it affects everybody differently (unlike SSRI's).

Thanks for clarifying.

Gents, I'm still stressing on the point that I'm not taking any drug or medication what so ever and I'm in a healthy condition.

Perhaps it has to do with the kind of sex your engaging in? For me, vanilla sex, plain, normal sex, does not arouse me at all. Just saying. Or it could be some thing new is stressing you out and effecting you during sex? Or perhaps it's simply a matter of losing interest in your girlfriend? Hey, it happens.

Performance anxiety, simple as. You obviously can get an erection and the more it happens the worse the anxiety.

I have always had this at the start of a new relationship for a while and i'm 41 now. Take the drugs until it goes away, as it will

Yes this sounds like performance anxiety and its important not to be too worried although I know its upsetting. Try to focus on other things at the point you're ready for intercourse. Have you talked about this with your partner - her acceptance, reassurance and patience will help you overcome this. Its sounds like the condom started this and its snow balled as the other poster said.

What do you do when the erection stopped - did you stop foreplay and sex? If it happens again, don't worry about it and continue pleasing your partner. I know you said you don't drink but don't think this will relax you. I wouldn't go the little blue pill route just yet and if this continues tell your doctor - there are simple beta Blockers that help with performance anxiety and anti-anxiety meds. Take the idea of "performance"out of the picture and look at the whole experience - enjoy foreplay so your partner is still happy and enjoy feeling close. its okay and will get better if you don't stress about it. Spend a few night just touching and feeling close but no intercourse - this will allow you to relax but still bond. Good luck.

How To Conquer Sexual Performance Anxiety | LIVESTRONG.COM

You said you eat healthy. Do you eat a lot of soy products? So has a plant based estrogen in it. So do some nuts and seeds, and whole grains and some fruits and veggies.

IF you are eating these in large quantities, this may be having an effect on you.

Just a thought.

Have you been completely honest with yourself on your feelings toward your girl? It looks like the two of you have only recently begun intimacy and it could be that you're trying to not have strong feelings for her or are trying to hide how you feel. I had the same problem with my girlfriend when we were first starting out together and while I found myself immensely attracted to her, I was afraid of falling in love with her too soon - which had already happened but I lied through my teeth to avoid my feelings - and so whenever we would begin intercourse I would lose my erection, like it was a defense mechanism keeping me from getting too intimate. When I confronted my feelings for her and accepted them, the problem went away and we've been together five years now happy as can be.

I know this isn't exactly what you're asking for but since you've already ruled out health issues and I assume you've had a healthy and successful sex life before your current I'm thinking that it's possible you might be subconciously holding yourself back.

Best wishes to you man. I hope this all works itself out soon. If you have any lingering thoguhts or questions, send me a message or a reply.

Do you watch porn and masturbate regularly? Because both can cause erection problems.

Try a little herbal remedy i use Avena Sativa Pure Herb Capsules or Tincture and Damiana Pure Herb Capsules or Tincture from it has made me hard and keeps me hard for the whoe sexual experience. Arnie