I am a pregnant soft butch

And this is an experience that is seriously testing my skills and patience.

I feel badly because my fiancée is femme and I know would relish this experience, but it am disgusted by it. I can't stand to look in the mirror anymore because I look so feminine now. I look and see a stranger. And it is causing me to become increasingly depressed and irritable. My fiancée and I agreed that this will be the only time that I get pregnant, because I don't think I could handle this all over again.

And I still have 8ish weeks left before our son arrives.

Has anyone else ever been in this position?

I'm not a lesbian so I can't relate there, but I AM a mother and believe me, all women go thru that just before the baby comes...usually the last couple of months are the worst. We feel ugly, fat....ugly...and add to that your natural feelings of not being particularly 'femme' I can well understand how this must be incredibly stressful for you.

Just try to accept its the hormones talking, preparing you for the jetisoning of your baby from you....I think it's safe to promise you will feel much better after the birth.

Both you and your fiance are in my thoughts

Totally been there. There were elements of pregnancy that I really enjoyed but found it to be this experience of almost compulsory femininity. Not just in how I looked but even things like having a baby shower really freaked me out because it was so girly! Oh and the maternity clothes! And just about everything I read about pregnancy and childbirth seemed so foreign. My partner is more femme and is the biological mother of one of our children and I know she had less trouble with this.

Think of it this way: there's nothing pretty or delicate about childbirth! It's hard, sweaty physical work. It's actually pretty butch if you think about it! You can delight in the opportunity to fully experience the amazing things your body is doing.

When my son was 4 he fell in love with a pink bike that had sparkles and streamers and everything. He loved it so we bought it for him. Some older kids tried to tease him and tell him it was a girl's bike. He just looked at them serenely and said "no it's not because I'm a boy and it's MY bike!" I thought it was brilliant.

Your pregnancy is like that: it's butch because you are and it's YOUR pregnancy.