trigger-dissociation and masturbation

My t told me that I dissociate during sex with DH and I agree. I was date raped in college, which was my first time having sex, so we figure that is the cause of the dissociation. Basically I remember everything about the sex except what it physically feels like for me. I also space out a lot and have a difficult time maintaining my attention on sex. I'm pretty much always fantasizing about strangers having sex when we're doing it- I read a couple other sex/dissociation threads that mentioned doing that too. As a teenager when I masturbated I always read erotica while I was doing it. Looking back I remember different locations and different erotic stories but I don't remember the physical feelings. Is it possible to dissociate during masturbation? I don't have a sexual trauma history besides the date rape. What would be the function of the dissociation?

I don't have much insight to offer with regard to this, Fruitytooty. Perhaps some other PC members will. My thought, with regard to this, is that it is potentially very complicated & as such is best addressed with your therapist. There may also, at some point, be value in seeking the opinion of a medical doctor or psychologist who specializes in treating sexual dysfunction.

It does seem to me that your difficulties could stem from your date rape. And I don't know of any reason why a person couldn't dissociate during sex. In fact, I think it is common for people to engage in a variety of fantasies during sex. Way back when I was still able to be sexually active, I did as well! One thing that is true is that worry over such things increases exponentially. The more you worry about it, the worse the problems become! So, it may be that what's most important here is for you to learn to be able to relax & simply enjoy the experience. This is where your T & possibly other professionals in the field come in.

It seems obvious that the date rape is not the reason, so I am surprised why your T settled for that hypothesis. You were date raped in college. You don't remember the physical sensations you experienced while masturbating and reading erotic stories in adolescence. So you started dissociating long before the date rape. How could have the date rape retroactively caused dissociation in adolescence? So the T does not seem to be especially shrewd when it comes to explanations, but that the T noticed that you dissociate is great and for that the T is worth the wages you pay him or her.

There is a forum on dissociation on this site. Fascinating reading. I hope you can find lots and lots of support and interesting threads to chew on there.