Want to talk about few sexual related issues

I would appreciate if someone here can help me out on this:
First issue - I hate zoloft so much, because it ruined my sex life. I was on those damn pills for 2 years and i regret it so hard. How could i be such idiot to become pathetic slave of phyzer? They were one of the factors that made my ex-girlfriend dump me. I mean, after 2 years i have decided to stop taking them. And since then i developed extreme form of premature ejaculation. I became a minute man and i could not satisfy her at all. There is some information in the web, that this kind of effect could last for whole life for some men. Those damn pills!
Second issue - in the end she cheated and dumped me. Now i imagine her being satisfied with another and this imagination killing me. I havent masturbated at all since the breakup, which was 4 months ago, because i feel disgusted towards any sexual visualisation. Is it bad for health of young man to not masturbate at all? I heared that can trigger prostatitis. Whenever i feel sudden desire, the memory of my ex appears in mind, i starting imagine her with my ex-friend, who obviously can last longer that 2 minutes. I feel like i have failed as a male.
Now i feel strong desire to find another girl, but whats the point? She would dump me after first sex. Im now at the last course of university and there are so many attractive girls, but im too scared to show my premature ejaculations if it even comes to sex with one of them. But who am i kidding...my confidence is low at the moment, that none of them would even give me the possibility. When i realized this, i began to think about hookers. But it makes even less sense. Paying 1/4 of my salary just to 3 minutes sex maximum? Not the best option for money spending. So in the result, i most definetely wont have sex for many-many years, while my ex will have it everyday. How to stop caring about it? It became such a big deal for me.

As a girl dating a guy with the same problem (actually, I think you last longer than him), I feel like I should comment. First of all, someone who would dump a guy over something like that without any other reason has their priorities all screwed up. Second, you didn't fail as a man, she failed as a PERSON. Cheating on someone and dumping them for the other person is low down, but to do it when you're vulnerable because of how this issue was making you feel is just cruel. This is not a reflection on you in any way, this is a reflection on HER.

You ask what the point is in finding another girl? Because not all women are so shallow. I would never cheat on my man, even if the offer was made by some super stud that could stay up forever and knew all the tricks in the book etc. What will we do instead? We will go to doctor(s) and a sex therapist to fix these issues or find a way around them. This is what kind, caring, non-shallow people do. They don't just abandon you because things become difficult or disappointing.

My whole point is that this isn't your fault, so don't blame yourself. And this doesn't make you less of a man.

>dump a guy over something like that without any other reason has their priorities all screwed up
Thanks for your post. I said it was one of the reasons. She also had another reasons, such as my depression, insecure behavior and lack of self-esteem.

>to do it when you're vulnerable because of how this issue was making you feel is just cruel.
Yeah, its kind of funny, that she encouraged me to get of zoloft, but when i did, she found out she that doesn't love me anymore.

>You ask what the point is in finding another girl? Because not all women are so shallow.
Maybe not all of them are shallow, but 99% of women need quality sex. You love your guy, despite the premature issue, and i admire you for that. But majority of girls would dump that kind of a guy in a second, when they getting to know some high-testosterone beast, who can have sex with them for hours and make them have one orgasm after another, few times at day, because its much more satisfying. Its a sad fact. I feel like a failure because i can't offer anything like that. Why bother with sex therapist and stuff, if a girl is attractive and can find 10 other guys who will be obviously better in bed than current boyfriend?

>My whole point is that this isn't your fault, so don't blame yourself. And this doesn't make you less of a man.
Thank you for the words. I find it hard to believe, but i will try to convince myself.

I know it became a big deal to you. But it is in the past. Start with friendship. I am only saying from experience, but, even this can turn out to be more, and not work out.
I'm sorry about the pills interfering. But it may or may not be what you need, depending on how depressed you are feeling. I don't know, I don't want to be on medication either.

I think you should try to accept yourself. I know also about the imaginings of my ex with his girlfriends. I'm sure more than one while we were married, that I found out about later. It destroyed my ability to have confidence, and yes, to satisfy myself because it hurt me. I don't have advice on that. Except, maybe, to use your imagination for the better things... anything, doesn't have to be about sex. Could be a dream of a goal of yours related to school. A dream of the kind of woman you would like to meet, make up a story in your mind. Nothing wrong with fantasy

I don't think you can claim anyone "needs" anything other than food, water, and oxygen as no one (that I know of) has died because of lack of "quality sex". I put that in quotations because everyone's idea of "quality sex" is wildly different. My idea of quality sex is something that doesn't hurt me psychologically or physically, and if it can bring me the slightest bit of pleasure, then it's amazing! I would love to be able to say that having an orgasm (ever) would be part of that definition, but to raise my standards to that level would be to say that I have never had quality sex and may very well never have quality sex. No matter who my partner is.

Also, not all women actually want someone who lasts a really long time. I wouldn't be able to give my partner a blow job if he lasted very long because it hurts my jaw too much. And if my jaw starts hurting, then it's not quality sex for me. It would be nice if he could consistently last a couple of minutes when it comes to intercourse, but I don't think I would enjoy having to wait ten minutes or more for him to finish. I don't feel much during intercourse anyway and I would just be bored if it lasted that long. Just at the moment it's not lasting long enough for me to get over the pain or to feel any sort of enjoyment.

I suppose it also makes a difference that despite how attractive I am (and I am very attractive, thank you), I don't have 10 guys lined up to get in my pants. I've never had that…I've rarely had men attracted to me at all, so this notion that someone attractive can easily find all these other guys isn't necessarily true. Honestly, he has little to no competition, but even if he did, why would I run off with someone else? One, I committed to a relationship with him and two, I wouldn't be convinced that sex with anyone else would be any better, no matter how many "skills" they apparently have. And for a guy who has had a pretty easy time pleasing women, he wouldn't have the patience to deal with me. I imagine he would be visibly angry and frustrated that I couldn't have an orgasm in the first or second go (I mean, how DARE I, right?) and would just make me feel badly about it. And that would be psychologically harmful to me.

In other words, a high-testosterone beast (in your words) would not be able to give me more satisfying sex than the person I'm with now even with all his sexual dysfunction. There are billions of people in the world—I can't be THAT unique.

Not meaning to hi-jack your thread Mefisto, but I can totally relate to you

1. As I.Am.The.End stated, lasting too long can be worse than not "long enough". I put that in quotes because there are plenty ways around your problem. You don't have to penetrate for 15 straight minutes. Learn to use all the different parts of your body *wink, wink* and your partner will be far more satisfied than if you just pump away forever.
2. Yes, it's good to "purge the system". It helps to "milk" the prostate regularly and it's believed to actually help lower your chances to develop prostate cancer. I'm not saying you should beat it like it owes you money, but sex/masturbation does help with prostate health.
Frequent Ejaculation May Ward Off Prostate Cancer

In conclusion, having a shorter build-up period doesn't make you less of a man nor is it the key to satisfying your partner. Learn about your self, use your brain more and stay in tune with her and you'll both be more satisfied. And yes, the poison must be purged!