menopause stopped my libido

I went thru menopause and I used to have a very HIGH libido, but afterwards it was nil. It was like I went from 60mph to 0 in one year. I'm currently seeing a endocrinologist to see if putting hormones back in my body will help, but so far the results are not long lasting. It's as if libido is dependent on more than hormones. Really, the doctors DON'T know what causes libido. All I know is I used to get horny for no reason, and now even with hormone replacement therapy I'm lucky to get horny at all.

Anyone else have experience with this? And did you find anything that helps.

I know many women who have gone through this...short version...

with women sex is two fold... a physical component (ovulation\release of body hormones/chemicals and thickening of the uterus that make a woman physically ready to have a baby) and the mental component (thoughts about the one they want to have sex with/fantasies)

biologically, with out ovulation and the body readying itself for a baby theres no need for the sexual urges (or as you call it get horny) so a woman who has gone through menopause has to train their self to understand their sexual needs and urges are going to be less urgent, less intense, less needing immediate gratification, than before menopause.

that said a woman can train their self to rely more on the mental components rather than the physical through the use of toys, masturbation, fantasizing, planning romantic time together with the significant other, roll playing, erotic movies (someone I know absolutely loves the intimate scene in the movie Ghost. another person I know uses porn, others I know write their own erotic stories) This in turn triggers the physical side of feeling horny/wet/orgasms....

my point is there are many different ways to mentally stimulate into achieving the same emotional sexual feelings as before menopause that can trigger the body into physically reacting now that ovulation is out of the picture.

my suggestion talk with your treatment providers, they will be able to help you find the right ways to get things going again for you.

The only thing is... I'm not a woman. I'm a trans-man who is not medically transitioned. I would really like to just cure the physical component... and have a body that works right. I am very familiar with porn and masturbation and such. I don't know any other way of saying this: a top needs a greater degree of horniness than a bottom. And I'm a top.

so your assigned gender at birth is female body but you identify your gender as male. and you have not gone through reconstructive surgery and have an appointment for hormones correct?

actually its a myth that tops need more horniness than bottoms. each persons body has its own way of reacting.

let me give you an example. my wife and I are both female. depending on many factors we both go through periods of various levels of horniness. one may be more randy than the other, we both may be randy at the same time and other times we are both not interested nor horny.

I have some friends that are male and female couples and its the same with them. sometimes one or the other is more horny than the other, sometimes they are equally horny and other times they both are not interested and not horny.

the same with my trans man and trans female friends.

the truth about sexual urges and needs is that each person has their own way of reacting, their own triggers that cause them to become horny and what makes them a little and what makes them a lot horny.

sex and becoming horny is just like someone becoming happy or sad or angry or what makes a person feel excited... its all individualized there is no one has to be more horny than the other as a requirement.

the difference in being a top versus a bottom isnt in how "horny" someone is. being top and bottom is a position preference...

some people like being on top of the other partner and some people like being underneath, some people like side to side positions... there are lots of positions.

my suggestion is continue working with your treatment providers, talk with them about all this, they can explain to you all about this stuff

When I say horny I talking about the physical excitement that used to happen in my body regardless of what I was thinking about. It is not like an emotion. I could force horniness by looking a porn, or touching my partners body or fantasizing, but I am now even having a hard time doing that.
When I say top or bottom I am not referring to a position. I am gay. In mean top in a gay male way. The active person has to really feel it to do it, while the passive person can start out not really feeling it, but can warm up after some time. That is just how we are.

I see here where I live horny is a mental feeling, mental sexual urge, mental thoughts of sex, the desire to have sex... our word for the physical excitement that you are talking about, here in my location is called arousal. it is normal for people to go through periods of their life to not be able to be aroused, if it wasnt people wouldnt be able to control their sexual activity, they would be aroused 24/7. the human body and brain have to have down times in order to recharge the body so to speak.

it may be that you are trying so hard to make your body go into arousal state that its fighting against you, kind of like the saying enough is enough, got to give it a rest.

my suggestion dont worry so much about trying to put your body into a physical state of arousal. if your body is meant to enter that physical state it will do so when its ready.

another suggestion...things like stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, medications and may other factors can affect whether a person can achieve a physical state of arousal. maybe talking with your treatment providers about this will help in discovering why your body at this moment will not enter that physical state that you are trying to achieve.

Hi there,

I had a hysterectomy at age 26 and two years later lost both of my ovaries due to medical issues. Going through menopause was absolutely awful. I felt horrible and my libido was completely gone. My doctor started me on HRT but the estrogen didn't really help with my libido at all. I tried a few different doses but my doctor only gave me enough hormones to stop the hot flashes and mood swings.

Last year I moved to Sweden and began seeing a GYN here. He was kind of appalled at how my HRT was being handled in the United States. He nearly doubled my estrogen dose and out me on testosterone therapy. It's just a dab of testo gel everyday that I rub on. Arm. Between the increased estrogen and the testosterone I now have the libido of a teenage boy. The change in my HRT made a huge difference on my life. It also made me have more energy and allowed me to lose weight better than I had been able to before. My doctor here said that he feels american doctors are too conservative when treating post menopausal women and that quality of life should be their number one concern because the risks of HRT are not as big as they would have you believe.

I hope this helps,mand good luck to you. I've been there, I know how horrible it can be. *hugs*

Thank you. And I glad for you that you moved to Sweden where they actually believe you and don't tell you that it's all in your head!

My endo started out with very low doses too, and I don't know what my normal levels were when I was young, but I swear I had more than that. We have just started on combining estrogen and testosterone... before we were doing one or the other.

One of our experiments with T made it clear that testosterone is CLEARLY correlated to arousal, because I had an immediate very high response to the medication. Nothing that a placebo effect could imitate. But over the next few months it died down considerably, as if my body somehow got used to it??? My doc can't explain it either.

What kind of T do they have you on? Is it a pill or a topical gel? At first I took Estratest, an estrogen pill combine with testosterone and I had the same problem as you. Huge sex drive at the beginning but then it was like I got used to it and that died off. Then we switched and I got out on an estrogen patch and a topical T gel, which has worked much much better. I am very happy with e results. My doc said trans dermal hormones work much better than oral ones because they don't have to be metabolized through the liver and kidneys. Metabolizing them means less hormone gets into your bloodstream. We had to experiment with the dosage and my doctor gave me prescriptions and told me to keep a diary and adjust (either adding or taking less) of each hormone over a period of time until I felt really good. That's something my american doctor wouldn't have dreamed of doing. But after about 4-6 weeks of experimenting with dosage myself I got the perfect amount. Now I have a great libido and no menopause symptoms.

I hope you get it figured out, I know how miserable it can be. *hugs*