# of People At Once You've Had Sex With?

with respect to the consentual aspect i don't see how this question differs from the 'how many people in your lifetime' question...

with respect to the question while it might be against some peoples values it isn't against other peoples values. one doesn't have to answer if one doesn't want to.

urm...

was this thread really a joke, or were you really genuinely curious?

i don't see any harm in asking...

er.. how do you define 'sex'?

er... thinking in particular of 'circle of love' ecstasy type experiences which are erotic but perhaps borderline sexual or not really sexual... or sexual... perhaps...

ho well....i think it`s great! really funny!

i wonder if somewone had the MORE shockening idea to ask what it feels like. hahahahahaha.
but i guess this is too personal a question.

i never had more than 1 at once. and i don`t think i want to,
seems very embarassing to me...and maybe dangerous.
that`s my oppinion.

hmm.

well... i guess exposing your ankles was shocking at some point...

Hi Alexandra K,

I apologize if I upset you with this poll. Believe me, I've been kicking myself a lot for posting it....but people seem to be having fun with it, so I really don't know if I let it run its course or delete it. I had such a fun time learning about cyber-sex (for my sweetie and me), and found all the people on this forum to be so entertaining, that I thought it would be fun to make up a poll as to how many people, in the course of our lifetime, that we've had sex with at one time. Granted, most of these experiences were when we were young. Like I said before, I would do things at 17 that I would never do now at 42! One steady partner only now, please.

So, it was meant for fun AND I was curious as to how we compared with others on this forum. It's interesting to see the highest percentage is for a one-on-one type relationship. I love that! If it makes any difference to you or not, I believe in having only one partner....and sticking by them through thick and thin. You know, to grow old together. I think that's romantic.

Consentual aspect: Well, obviously I wasn't counting abuse/rape/taken advantage of on drugs. I just meant a regular union between people who agreed to it. There was no hidden meaning in my question.

Absolutely, I stated that you didn't have to answer this poll if you didn't want to. Gosh, I was just trying to make people smile....thinking back to the stupid kids and young adults that we used to be. Of course, some are still playing and that's FINE...but I just think that as we get older, we settle down more to wanting just that one sweetheart. But you know how the hormones are flying off the chart when you're younger. Lol.

Yes, the poll was both for entertainment and also I was just curious as to how we all compared with each other. Like, was I the only one to do it with my best friend and her boyfriend (17 years old, okay?? Not my lifestyle now). Again, no hidden meanings in the poll.

How do I define sex? Intercourse.....human to human!!!!!! Now, of course, there is a dog with a dog/ a cat with a cat....but I wasn't talking about critters. I was talking consentual intercourse between 2 or more people. And, I also consider masturbation to be sexual as well....that's why I had "none" as one of the options....which I even checked off for myself, if you must know.

I don't know if you thought I was trying to turn this poll into some sort of perverted thread where people would start talking about all their adventures. In fact, to tell the truth, I didn't expect anything more than just the poll. I didn't realize that there was also the option to respond in writing. It's the first poll I've ever done, and I can't recall ever seeing one before. I've been away from PsychCentral for about a year, and just came back a few months ago. I was just trying to interact in an entertaining manner with the people in this forum because they had all been great about my cyber-sex question.

Sandy

Alexandra K,

I don't even KNOW what "circle of love" is. That sounds like it belongs in the category that Joe wanted in regards to sheep. LOL!!!!!!! No, I'm not bashing Joe! I thought his answer was too funny.

Sandy

Please Alexandra K,

This truly was meant all in fun. Please don't get defensive or suspicious. There was no hidden agenda. I am quite sorry that I upset you. I had no idea that would happen. Believe me, it's going to be a LONG time until I make another poll because I obviously don't know how to throw a party!! LOL.

Sandy

Damn. this is VERY SIMPLE:

if you like a poll: post in it.
if you DON`T-just DON`T POST.
that`s it!

it is just internet. we shouldn`t be taking it so seriously. i know from my own experiance. there is no reason for being upset because of a topic.

Thanks ladymacabethadmunsen,

Wow, that's a LONG name to type out! LOL.

Thanks for telling it just the way it is. Post or don't post. It's just a little speck in the big World Wide Web.

I *am* sorry for anyone who was offended, but please....let's just try to accept it in the manner that I meant it. It'll disappear soon enough, anyways, when people stop voting.

Thank you again, ladymacabethadmunsen. Woo Hoo. I just had to type that name out again without looking to see if I'd get it right. I DID, I DID. Lol.

God bless,
Sandy

my fear would be a STD, a gal can't be too careful ya know

Sandy you dont have to defend yourself. You explained what you were doing and personally i thought it was fun. Some people will have a problem with certain things, but most wont. Dont let perceived criticism lead you to inaction. No matter what you do someone isnt going to be happy. Actually i think the reaction has been pretty good . Now about that sheep...............

Joe,

I know how much your sheep mean to you, and for being such a lovely person, I would ship one off to you right away (I'm sure you have a whole pasture to frolic around in with them, don't you?). Lol. But we seem to have a problem with the Canada/US Border Patrol. Apparently, there have been quite a number of sheep being bought all over Canada lately and headed down to New York. My country is slowly coming into a lamb chop crisis, so I don't think I could get the little guy to you. I know you would have loved him, though. Awwwwww. Such sweet critters.

And thanks for the support, Joe. I appreciate it!

God bless,
Sandy

(((((( Sandy ))))))))

Just wanted to pop in and say your thread is fine. There's no breaking of guidelines or anything, so unless you want me to remove it, I don't see an issue at all!

It seemed to me that there was just some clarification and questions being asked. I'm not seeing anyone getting defensive or anything.

If there are bad feelings around this thread, (anyone) just shoot me a PM k?

~Rayna

Lol; interesting thread (& responses!), Sandy.

Des

Now the poll asks how many PEOPLE you've sleep with... (though the subject and paragraph says SEX) but the poll alone... wow now I come from a big family and during hurricanes we all slept together in the livingroom and there were many times that, on a camping trip, the entire group of dozens dispense with the tents and we all put our sleeping bags next to each other out under the stars... Whew, sure am glad I didn't answer the poll!

yep, this is a forum for frank and open discussion.

i can see someone asking this question for a variety of reasons...maybe trying to come to terms with "maybe it's not *that* rare and i can get support for issues regarding this if i need", curiosity for future use when making decisions, or whatever. there could just be a number of reasons for it.

i agree, if something is triggering or "over the top" for one, it's usually best to move on to something that you can feel comfortable with as opposed to responding in disapproval. that can cause the OP to feel bad when they expect to be able to post within the guidelines. in the same right, we have to accept possibly reading that which is allowable within the same.

i'm responsible for my reactions to reading here if something is within the guidelines...especially in a forum like this one. i think people in this forum have done GREAT in letting the general membership know what the content of a thread is about to minimize surprise due to the different sensitivities on the subjects in and around sex.

BTW, I'm not addressing that to anyone here, just addressing concern that Sandy appeared to have.

Nice everyone.

KD

So funny Sky!!!!

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!

Kimmy!

Not disparaging the subject of this post, but the thought of having intimate sexual contact with more than one partner is really pretty frighening to me. Yes, I've posted humorously here in this thread myself.
Really, though, WHY would one really want to engage in something so intimate with more than one partner at a time???
Just after my divorce, I became involved with a much younger fella (who turned dangerous stalker) who revealed tome while in bed that one of his fantasies was "threesome." I was so swept off my feet at the time, I can't even remember if or how I responded.
My true thoughts are that sexual intimacy should be an expression of love between two, and only two people. Sadly, I haven't found this.
Having said this, Sandy, just know I like you, and my post is only a reflection of my own desire for a loving relationship. To engage in something so intimate with multiple partners would be sad for me, and humiliating!
Patty

Seeker1950:

This may be a little off-subject and quite embarrassing for me to admit, but here goes:

First off, I agree with you completely. I believe in sexual intimacy being shared between only two people in a loving relationship. Like I said earlier, hormones and just experiencing life in general as a teenager/young adult can have you trying things that you may even enjoy a lot at the time, but as we mature.....most of us settle down and would like to grow old with just that one person. My "learning about life" was when I was a teenager......a long time ago when the dinasaurs roamed the earth!

I was married for 12 years and we had two children together. But I *finally* FINALLY got on a plane with the kids (actually 4 planes altogether!) and got away from him because he was very abusive. And I received FULL custody of both the children in the Family Courts. We started life all over again with 2 suitcases and a carry-on full of diapers and toys.

At first I dated a bit, but I found out in a very short time that all guys wanted was SEX. It happened over and over. I'd have someone over just to visit and chat and get to know each other, and they always thought they were getting sex. Well, they didn't! One guy was so aggressive that I thought I was going to be raped right in my own hallway because he was tearing at my pants so roughly. But he was drunk, and I was able to get him off me. And even the guys who seemed really nice and turned out not to be aggressive would come over to me while we're watching tv and say, "Let's go back to your bedroom." The whole thing just disgusted me. When I was married, I was used to having the guys around, you know? There were always guys at our house it seemed, sometimes with their girlfriends and sometimes not. But we were all friends. I could touch them (like have my hand on their leg when I'm talking to them about something) or shake them and give them a big hug when they said something so silly that you just had to laugh. I felt extremely safe around the guys. I guess married life gives you that protection.

So when I came to Canada, I found out quickly that you do not touch a guy's knee, even very slightly, because that means you want to bed him. I learned very quickly to stop being touchy/feely, and that was rather sad. I like to touch. It's just my form of a friendly gesture.

And now the big bad secret that I *know* I don't have to share with an incredible amount of strangers, but what does it matter? It has no real meaning to you....just a post within a thread....and it will soon be all forgotten anyways. But after all my lovely experiences as a single mum, I quit inviting guys over to socialize. And I haven't had sex in over 10 years. Yup!! My choice, but it's been over 10 years because I was soooooo turned off by how the males treated the females. And I never even looked to see if anyone attracted my attention. I just shut it all down. Lonely as heck, but I do not like the silly games that boys play. It has made for a very lonely time, BUT.....I'd rather be lonely than chased all the time.

I met a guy about 3 years ago in one of the Yahoo Groups that we rather clicked for some reason. I really don't know why. We rarely "talked" to each other. But we'd crack jokes or tease the other person. We just seemed to have the same type of humor. Well, not too long ago I got triggered over something and I couldn't find anyone to talk with. He happened to be online. And he stayed with me online all day when he was at work, and then when he got home, he stayed online with me until I felt okay to go to bed. He never left me, and he never brought up anything sexual. We just talked and he comforted me.

So, ending of long story: Liking each other. Always emailing and calling on the phone. Even tried the cyber-sex, which was fun but VERY frustrating. Lol. And since then, we've done phone-sex once (which was out of this world). I remembered how I used to feel, but I didn't remember what the actual sensations had felt like. He woke them up again. I just wish he lived a little closer, you know. I guess you could say that, even with 2 children, I've been a virgin for over 10 years! LOL.

Anyways, yes seeker1950, I agree with you completely. A loving relationship with one faithful, loving partner. I'm just saying that we don't always feel that way when we're younger and I was curious to see how many had done things like me.

God bless,
Sandy

10 years...some kind of record there, Sandy! I'm just three years, and thinking this may be permanent for me!
I'm glad you've found someone with whom you can share some intimacy!
Patty

hmm.

well, i'm not offended by the poll. i thought that you were asking a serious question, though, rather than intending it as a joke thread. not that a little joking around isn't alright or anything like that but i guess it could be a little embarrassing for someone to answer the question honestly only to find that people wanted to post all kinds of stuff on how immoral it was or treating it too much like a joke.

circle of love...

well... ecstasy (MDMA) is rather renouned for producing feelings of love and security and safety in a group setting. it is a bit of a party drug so appears on the party scene now but it wasn't so long ago that it was used theraputicly to help clients open up to their therapists.

there was an episode of 'dune' where the main character did that in order to make some serious gains in therapy, for example. it is, of course, controversial, but anyway...

so... a circle of love can happen at any time i guess but my personal experience with it was when i'd taken some e. basically... i'm too socially shy / anxious about my body and the like for me to participate at any other time.

i'm not going to prescribe all the precise details... but i guess it is friendly / erotic / borderline sexual. if you count that as a sexual experience then... well... there was around 8 people i guess.

i don't see the harm.

has anyone seen the documentary / movie on the life of maralyn munroe (sorry don't know how to spell that). her relationship with the gemini twins? i guess i was fairly friendly with a couple of my female friends back in high school...

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alexandra_k said:
hmm.

well... i guess exposing your ankles was shocking at some point...

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True..... and back then if you (the male) was to see her ankles then you had to marry her, that is how the double stair wells came about - her on her side and him on his side - NO Marraige then as you walked up the steps- lol.

IDK what the problem is for some...and I have read and reread this thread a few times and can't find anyone putting it down for morals or value judgments funny how some can read things into posts that simply aren't there (and if they are, quote the posts, I want to read them! )

and hey...you never mentioned or put in the poll... anything about in your dreams! oh, and another thing left out ... if you were faithful (well, not YOU but "you") but your spouse or SO had sex with others, does that mean you have had it too? how would you count that? LOL don't worry... just the way statisticians have to figure things when making polls... ok I want to see how others voted now... so which answer should I choose so I can see?

OMGOSH!!!!! From the index page I could only see "Number of People You've Had Sex..." but at ONCE???

Even in my promiscous years it was only one at a time!!