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Member
Member Since Aug 2015
Location: Sandy, UT
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Nov 09, 2015 at 04:20 PM
#21
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 baseline
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Legendary
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Mid World
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Nov 09, 2015 at 05:56 PM
#22
This has been a tough thread for me to read. Lots of old "stuff" came boiling to the surface.
from BlueCrustacean Quote:
From what Werewoman posted, she still loves her husband. She wants to want him. They still have sex, she doesn't getting "the feeling" and initiate sex. Werewoman, is your husband open to discussing the fact that you still love him, still desire him, but don't have initiate things. You say that you and your therapist are working through what happened in your past. Personally, while I struggled through the old shyte I didn't want anyone touching me in a sexual way. What would your husband say if you had an accident that caused a physical injury that took your libido away? Would he work with you to work around it? This is the same sort of thing, except the injury is to your mental health, not physical body. I'm also wondering if his pressuring you to initiate sex is creating something like performance anxiety for you? In my case, if someone pressured me to do something I was already struggling with my anxiety would go through the roof. |
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baseline, bighands, Trippin2.0
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2014
Location: Betelgeuse
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Nov 12, 2015 at 12:25 PM
#23
First off, BlueCrustacean, I'd appreciate it if you'd get off my thread. You obviously don't understand the issues presented, which is fine, and there are other places more appropriate to express your thoughts on the matter. Thank you.
LizardLady, Yes, my husband and I have had that discussion. I think as a man, he tries to understand, and I have asked him to give me some space while I work on this with my therapist - which he is - and lately it has become obvious that his pressuring me was definitely making the problem worse. The way I look at all this, it's just another thing I have to take back from my abusers that they took from me. However, I'm finding this one much more difficult than other issues I've already worked through. *sigh* 
__________________  You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
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Nov 13, 2015 at 10:32 AM
#24
I've recently read that their coming out w/a female type Viagra pill in the US. Interesting idea maybe.
__________________ "Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2014
Location: Betelgeuse
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Nov 14, 2015 at 06:41 PM
#25
I recently came up with an analogy that describes my feeling regarding sex very well.
It's like riding a roller coaster. I'm standing in line, waiting to get on, dreading it but excited at the same time. It takes every ounce of self control I have not to get out of line. Finally, I make it to the front and get on the ride. For the most part, I love it (even though I am curled up in a ball with my eyes squeezed shut - LOL!) and when the ride is over, I'm glad I did it, though it takes 20 minutes or so for my heart rate and adrenaline levels to go back to normal. During the ride, I am feeling terror, excitement, that 'GET ME OFF THIS THING!' feeling, and hating that feeling in my stomach when I'm going down the big hills, but overall, it's still a lot of fun. Does this make sense to anyone? 
__________________ You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd |
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baseline
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Legendary
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Nov 14, 2015 at 06:57 PM
#26
Oh it makes perfect sense to me hon! It's a good description of what it was like for me.
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| Werewoman
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Werewoman
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Nov 15, 2015 at 12:37 AM
#27
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I am sorry for your history of abuse and to anyone else who was abused. I just read some of your earlier posts. I hope your therapist is helpful with this issue. Maybe you could talk to them with your husband present? Have you considered BPD? Last edited by Anonymous37883; Nov 15, 2015 at 01:05 AM.. |
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baseline
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Nov 16, 2015 at 09:47 AM
#28
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I wish there was a sub-forum for aging issues like this. I think this whole thing of getting old is getting me down. |
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| Werewoman
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2014
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Nov 29, 2015 at 12:59 AM
#29
I was really hoping after some time had passed that things would improve, but they haven't.
Earlier this evening, my husband said to me, "We don't play anymore anyway". The hell? We had a great time last Sunday night. While I'm still struggling, I have been getting better, little by little. Now the problem is every time he says something like that, it sets me back again, and I am starting to question why I should be working so hard to try to overcome this problem. I understand he's frustrated. Hell, so am I - REALLY frustrated! However, I don't think his frustration excuses his behavior and frankly, I'm ready to give up and move on. I think I'd be better off alone, and the thought of that no longer bothers me like it once did - like when I started this thread. Enough is enough. __________________ You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
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Nov 29, 2015 at 06:18 AM
#30
((((Werewoman))))
I'm sorry this situation hasn't gotten any better for you. It takes a lot of work to get thru all this & it's a long road. I can sympathize. Hang in there! Thinking of you! __________________ "Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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