Boyfriends a meth sex & porn addict, should I forgive him & help?

So my boyfriend and I have had some not so greater moments as of lately due to his actions he has wants to constantly have sex and do every thing imaginable, I've caught him sending nasty messages to a girl on Facebook saying he was laying in bed playing with his self and asked what she would do if she was there and she says join him and it proceeds on so I forgave that and proceeded with caution and would catch him on his porn occasionally but promised to quit he deleted social media and things went great dispute his addiction and fetish and he never has acted to care about me, recently I left and went to my parents for a day to clear my head and he's to do the same and I gave him the choice to change or it was over, he agreed with every word I said, I came back to him telling me how much he's been thinking & loves me & can't loose me and he's gonna change, I had a gut feeling of something so I asked if he was being faithful he says yes & hrs later I decided to go thru his phone and there it was, he had been on escort sites and texting them and had arraignments to pay 1 $350 and told her what time and what hotel to meet him, he denied it until I showed him on his phone where it was and he said Iam sorry I messed up please I want to make this up to you and proceeds to tell me he did it out of curiosity and he never met 1 and never would Cuz there gross, he showed no remorse or care he blames the drugs and swears he loves me, he even confessed to calling an x of his and he's getting addiction help and trying to show me he loves me, do I believe he didn't meet 1 or did like the evidence support, should I forgive and proceed since he was under the influence of drugs or haul *** because it usually never gets better even tho he is changing now????

My best friend is a meth addict. I've read that it's the absolute worst drug to kick, the hardest.

I think you need to be a bit selfish here & think of yourself. What is best for you right now? Are you safe? Are your needs being met? How committed are you to this relationship?

It doesn't sound easy I'm sure, & I hope you can find the help you're looking for.

Oh God, save yourself. This sounds like a horrible relationship:
1. He cheats on you online and in real life with escorts
2. He is a meth addict. Google "meth faces" to see the possible future.
3. He is a sex addict. Probably not even a problem considering the points above.

I personally would end a relationship just for cheating. I wouldn't be able to live with a person who physically loved somebody other than me while we were together. Or did you sign up for an open relationship?

If you are thinking of staying in this relationship, can you give examples of nice things in your relationship?

I would run as fast as I could. I don't see a future here. He has too much baggage.

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I would also run far far away and sorry to say this but get yourself tested for every STD out there you just never know

Good luck

Yes, & ...

Run Like Hell!

Get yourself tested for STD's, & ...

Get yourself a good therapist so you'll be able
to figure out why it is that you feel that this is the
kinda relationship and treatment you deserve!

Nobody needs to settle for this kinda treatment
from nobody, no how, no way!

I agree , search yourself to find out why you would settle for such ... move on ...

I agree with everything, everyone said.

Now, I understand that you love him in spite of his problems.

This is what I would tell him he HAS to go to rehab. Addictions don't stay with one substance. Meaning if you are addicted to drugs, you are often addicted to sex, and alcohol and would probably get into gambling and anything else addictive.

IF he goes to rehab and stays clean. I would re-try a relationship.

But only IF he went to rehab.

I agree with everything, everyone said.

Now, I understand that you love him in spite of his problems.

This is what I would tell him he HAS to go to rehab. Addictions don't stay with one substance. Meaning if you are addicted to drugs, you are often addicted to sex, and alcohol and would probably get into gambling and anything else addictive.

IF he goes to rehab and stays clean. I would re-try a relationship.

But only IF he went to rehab.

No you should not forgive him. You should make him your ex-boyfriend.

I had that boyfriend once, for almost a decade. Don't ask why I stayed, because now, almost another decade later, I still can't put my finger on it. Pity, a savior complex, a this-is-what-I-deserve complex, I can change him, I've invested so much time in this, he needs me, I don't know how to be with anyone else, he loves me despite his addictions...? I don't know, all of the above and then some.

Getting out was crazy difficult. I won't even get into that. But I did. And that was one of the best choices I've ever made.

Advice-wise, I will say this. There are those times when he seems so coherent, so desperate for you, so loving, and that's what keeps us there, I think. You have to harden yourself to those times. They are just the manipulations of an addict trying to get another fix, only you are his other addiction.

You have to take care of yourself. That's all I really know. Best of luck.

O.P. read the poll out loud to yourself

SHOULD I BREAK UP BOYFRIEND who CHEATED WITH ESCORT HIGH ON METH

if you read that and it seems normal to you I would suggest therapy after running from this guy. I am so not judging you. I just want to point out your view point may be coming from a really unhealthy place that has developed over time
Know and find your worth! You deserve better!

The meth is what's causing this behavior. I've never touched the stuff and sure as hell don't plan on it However, I've heard from people who did that it causes a person to basically lose complete control over all sexual impulses. This effect gets disastrously worse and worse the more strung out the person gets. It also makes the person's sexual desires increasingly perverted and bizarre as they keep using it.

However, that is no reason why you should subject yourself to the cheating and the possible STDs. A meth head that has reached the point of doing things like this is most likely sleeping with NUMEROUS people. So, yes I would very much advise you to break up with him right away. He has already reached a serious level of perversion in his urges, which also tends to happen with meth heads.

If it is at all possible, get him to rehab. Yes, break up with him, but if you can get him to check himself into rehab, do it. Even though he hopefully won't be with you anymore, a person in that perverted, strung out state is dangerous to other people. He could be spreading STDs to numerous different people.

Move out!

He is not capable of being in a relationship or being honest as long as drugs are in his life.
Do both him and you a favor. Leave.

Staying means you will enable his ability to continue his behavior, after all he got away with it once, so why should he change. going back means you accept his behavior.

If you leave he may wake up go get treatment or he may not but he is the only one who can decide to fix his life. You can not fix him nor are you responsible for him.

I used for 3 years. It does significantly increase impulsivity & libido, but my experience was not that it was like I was out of my mind, I was always fully aware of the choices I was making, I just didn't care so much under the influence. Later I may have regretted it but it felt too good at the time to stop. It's incredibly selfish behaviour. I would suggest if it toutures you, as it did me as my partner had similar behaviours to me, to leave for your own sake. If it's something you are able to cope with without it tearing you up maybe stick around & make sure he is doing everything in his power to better himself. Don't let it affect how you see & value yourself. This is entirely his problem.

That was your experience with it. You were lucky enough to not go full blown psychotic from extended abuse. I've never done it, but believe me meth can definitely make a person go "out of their mind". When people go into meth psychosis (which is pretty common), they very seriously are unaware of their actions. I mean honestly I've heard stories about people doing even more outrageous stuff because of meth abuse, if you can even imagine that People have literally self amputated their own appendages because of meth induced delusions. It's about the worst drug on the face of the earth. Honestly, I've messed with different things myself in the past......... but thank God I had enough sense to stay away from that stuff. It's bad, it's real bad. Basically, extended abuse creates a similar mental state that's similar to having a dream while awake. You have fully realistic hallucinations that you can't tell from reality, and you behave in similar ways to the way your dreaming self behaves. The level of terrifying mental ****ery is truly beyond comprehension. Don't ever touch the stuff again, no matter what.

Meth sounds really bad. This kind of stuff is the reason I will never even bother trying recreational drugs -- they're SO not worth it IMO!

About the other stuff though... Is it really such a big deal if a guy looks at porn and masturbates, even in a relationship? I guess I wouldn't know because I've never been in one... but it seems to me that when partners' sex drives differ, masturbation is a perfectly normal and healthy way for him to get some release. You said yourself that he constantly wants to have sex so he probably has a very strong drive. Getting mad at him for that seems really selfish and ridiculous to me...

Calling an escort service is on another level entirely though. Cheating bothers me so much, and yet it seems so common. How is it that really nice, good women can stay with these dumbass guys who cheat on them, while truly nice, sensitive guys like me who would NEVER cheat can't even get a second glance? Sigh. Society makes no sense to me yet again.

Thinking about it more I actually want to change my answer to the first option: "Yes, no excuse!!"

I agree that I was lucky, & I have seen meth psychosis multiple times, it's barely distinguishable from a paranoid schizophrenic state imo. Everytime I have seen someone lose control they became paranoid. Like you said this is only my experience however. I don't doubt that there are many who become incredibly elevated & hypersexual & appear to be in like a traditional manic psychosis. I'm sure there are too many to count but it doesn't excuse their behaviour. The OP needs to look after herself first & foremost. Is her boyfriend in the midst of a drug induced psychosis or is he using & thinking **** it it feels good now so I will do it & deal with the consequences later? Meth is selfish.

I agree wholeheartedly that meth is a disgusting drug & the worst that is available. I wish I had never picked up the pipe because I feel like I've damaged my own brain. Destabilised my own moods, likely exacerbated an already present mental illness, & caused what seems to be permanent cognitive deficits that have left it difficult to function in my career. I hate it but I still love it.

I have witnessed first hand what meth can do to a person, it's heartbreaking, because one of those people is my oldest son. I also dated a woman whose daughter also used it, she would lie, steal, etc. I hope you can find a place to think about yourself and your future, because there is absolutely no future with someone who uses this. He is the only one who can fix him, if he shows no wanton desire to do so it will be a big waste of your time.

End the relationship, get out. Get tested for STDs. Don't look back. Take care.