[ak482]

Saw this story online today. Appropriately for my 34th birthday as a pathetic trash virgin.
http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/04...t-virgins.html

And since no one else would want to date me, why should I bother? Hell why should I even bother living anymore?

[LiteraryLark]

I'm sorry, I really don't understand the woes and sorrow of being a virgin. It's not something I sympathize with, but I do want to help you. Not only are you self-wallowing, you're using a crackpot bull---t article to legitimize your woes and self-pity.

You have to delve into your conscious and determine what it is that's holding you back from having sex. What is YOUR reasoning behind this. The only catch is that you can't blame others. No, you can't blame others for your sexual inabilities. You need to uncover why you can't find someone to have sex with. Do you want true love? Are you waiting for the right person? Does sex scare you? Why aren't you putting yourself out there via dating websites and ultimate life-living until you find someone? Why have you given up on dating? Those are questions only you can answer, but what I really don't understand about virgins who are absorbed in their self-pity is that they give up and just wallow without making any effort to change it. You're 34 years old, you're genitals, time, and energy are intact and your mind and body is still young...why are you upset about this now? You're in your prime. You won't die tomorrow, so do whatever you're afraid of. Join an online dating website, join social clubs with people your own age, it's not too late! Forget about having sex and focus on building friendships and relationships. You don't have wrinkles yet, so now is not the time to worry. Now is the time for action.

[Septembersrain]

My guy was a virgin until 27. I think you bashing yourself is the worst thing you can do.

Perhaps you could think of yourself as someone who has something to offer.

You see, in the opposite spectrum I was raped and lost mine at 9. I didn't get to have that magical (or painful, awkward, etc) moment with someone I loved.

If you give up on yourself, you're not giving anyone a chance!

Think higher of yourself. =)

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You don't have to tell everyone that you're a virgin. It's not like people can tell that you're a virgin or anything. Just lie.

[Yogurtz]

You sound like you are feeling undesired or unwanted.

I understand that being a virgin can make you feel like nobody desires you. I was a virgin until I was 24 and my fiancee was a virgin until she was 28. Feeling like I was undesirable, worse still unlovable, was something I struggled with.

However, as hard as it is to understand now, it is important to remember that sex isn't everything. Once you have sex more regularly you'll likely get bored of it and start to think of it as an enjoyable, but not critical, part of your life.

Live your life as best you can in the meantime

[kamikazebaby]

I'm sorry, I'm sure it must be very lonely and painful.

Having sex too early or with the wrong person/people wouldn't be something to aspire to, & the good news is that you still have those first experiences of physical intimacy ahead of you and you can do it right rather than wasting or sullying them. You're wiser and more mature at this age, so you can make a better choice when the time comes. *hugs*

I know you don't want to be a virgin anymore, but sex without feeling is cheap and meaningless and likely wouldn't be what you'd hoped for or dreamt of in the least. And I have to tell you that there are certainly people out there who wouldn't have a problem with dating a virgin.

[Refuse2Sink]

Sex can be overrated. It can also be amazing. It all depends on the feelings between you and the person your having sex with. If you are determined to get laid, then go to a bar & pick someone up. Or go on Tinder or whatever people do these days lol. If you want to have sex and it actually mean something, then you have to get out their and build relationships like the members above said. Anyone can get laid- ANYONE. Lol. Stop stressing out over this and live your life.

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[Pikku Myy]

I better not comment.

[Lazarus16]

Ak482, viriginity is not a concept that has finality or that is set in stone. Does somebody that die as a virgin, should be considered a pathetic trash person? Asbsolutely not. Just as someone that isn't fans of the Toronto Blue Jays or doesn't do mountain hiking isn't a pathetic trash person. It's all a matter of perspective and everything is relative. Society makes it so that virginity is regarded as a weakness, a flaw but it couldn't be farther from the truth. Just as not wanting to partake in alcohol binging is totally okay for a young man between age 18 to 25. Our society has those ''norms'' but it is just that and when you realise that most of those so-called ''norms'' were established either for enrichment of the globalists or so they can control our lives without us without realising it, you come to the conclusion that is totally okay to not follow them. These special interests will use the media and any mean possible to tell you what you should do and what you shouldn't do but I tell you this : yourself only, know what you should do, not the media, not the politicians, you. Being a virgin is being a virgin, it is just that, it's a fact that might change when you lose your virginity but nothing more. I never ate squids but if I ate some tonight, this information would change for ''I ate squids once''. Does it matter if I did or didn't? Not at all. The whole virginity is blown out of proportion. It does not matter at all if you're a virgin, does not matter at all!

You're looking at the wrong problem my friend, btw, there are no problems, just solutions! Not being a virgin is not the cause, it is the consequence. What is the cause or the multiples cause of your consequence, why are you still virgin? If you can find the answer(s) to this question, then ask yourself this ''how do I correct it or them?'' And when you'll have done that, believe me, virginity will have stopped being a problem. It will be a simple fact that has no value whatsoever. I'm a virgin myself and does it trouble me? Not at all. I'm 26 and I'll tell you what, I had over 10 chances I could have lost my virginity, did not do it because I have no interest in having sex with someone I don't love. Does the fact of being a virgin was harmful to me? Not at all. I'm a successful engineer, I succeed at all I do, I'm living my passions to the maximum and I'm very happy in my life. I'm still a virgin because I did not meet the right woman yet and that was my own decision. Does not make me a pathetic trash person, should not make you feel like a pathetic trash person.

Take care and do what I told you in the previous paragraph (if you want), I can guarantee you it can only improve your quality of life and you might lose your virginity, we don't know...