[Artchic528]

Ugggg....

Masturbating to porn ain't cutting it anymore. I want real sex. And not the one night stand kind of sex. I want deep meaningful relationship sex. I'm not going to be some guy's booty call for the night. I'm a relationship kind of gal, not a have sex with random strangers every night kind of one.

I haven't even so much as had a kiss from a guy in over a year. I feel like crying from the frustration.

Uggg.....I feel so low...so depressed....so undesirable....so....like a lost cause.

I just want to be loved by a man.....is there any man out there who feels they can love me?

[Artchic528]

Why did I even ask about a guy loving me? Of course that's not how things work. You just can't demand love of someone.

I'm feeling like I'm going crazy from lack of intimacy and there's nothing I can do about it.....

[seesaw]

I feel you, Art. Since my breakdown 2 years ago, it only have I completely refrained from dating, but I can't even think of myself as attractive anymore. Tonight I actually started to feel attractive when I was getting ready for a concert, but then I got there and remembered that I have gained 70lbs and am overweight now, that I have scars over my body, and I'm now in my late 30s. I don't feel like the attractive, effervescent, free spirited woman I used to be. I just feel like a depressed old maid. I'm not like you, I am all for the one night stand, but I used to be able to take home any guy I wanted, not because of my looks but because of my confidence....and now...I can't even look at myself in a mirror.

So...I'm with you...low and depressed....I'd say it's time for some chocolate but that wouldn't help solve my problems at all.

[Artchic528]

Thank you Seesaw. I appreciate that you took the time to reply.

I never got the point of a one night stand, so I refuse to do it. Besides, I want intimacy, not just sex. But at this point who would want me?

[Artchic528]

I'm open to suggestions.....

[seesaw]

I'm sorry, I'm just as lost as you on this.

[wiretwister]

there are a lot of lonely hurting souls out there ... how to find them ... that is the question ... but I am 100% certain the start is a good self esteam ... if you like yourself others will too ... then you need to be where people can meet ... so you must be out going or at least willing to put yourself out there to be seen ...

both of those are really tough .... maybe start small and make yourself interesting (so others will find you that way) ... join a club ... visit a church .. take up a hobby (painting .. trains... anything to get out of the house) ... remember you are looking for specific qualities in another and they are too ... you can not be everything to everyone ... nor can they be everything to you ...

they are just as lonely and lost of what to do as you are ... maybe they need encouragment too ... guys can have feeling and fears just like anyone else ...

ps; don't want to sound polly-anna , and I have plenty of issues myself ... but a "real" relationship can only be started by someone that "really" wants it ... and is willing to work at it ... it is your life after all .... I wish you much sucess and happiness in whatever you choose ... Tigger

[Artchic528]

*sigh*

I would love to get out and about but I can't because my home is dysfunctional and my family hates to drive me places. Public transportation is non existent and I can't afford cabs or Uber.

So yeah...I'm screwed.

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

*sigh*

I would love to get out and about but I can't because my home is dysfunctional and my family hates to drive me places. Public transportation is non existent and I can't afford cabs or Uber.

So yeah...I'm screwed.

may not be your cup of tea ... but it could be a start ... many churches will pick you up on Sunday's and deliver you home afterwards ... or maybe if you are open and meet people they may even take you to lunch ... maybe not a romance but friends are always welcome ...

just a thought ...

[scorpiosis37]

Is there a reason why you can't get a driver's license? Do you have a disability that prevents driving?

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by scorpiosis37

Is there a reason why you can't get a driver's license? Do you have a disability that prevents driving?

Yes. I have a disability.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by seesaw

I feel you, Art. Since my breakdown 2 years ago, it only have I completely refrained from dating, but I can't even think of myself as attractive anymore. Tonight I actually started to feel attractive when I was getting ready for a concert, but then I got there and remembered that I have gained 70lbs and am overweight now, that I have scars over my body, and I'm now in my late 30s. I don't feel like the attractive, effervescent, free spirited woman I used to be. I just feel like a depressed old maid. I'm not like you, I am all for the one night stand, but I used to be able to take home any guy I wanted, not because of my looks but because of my confidence....and now...I can't even look at myself in a mirror.

So...I'm with you...low and depressed....I'd say it's time for some chocolate but that wouldn't help solve my problems at all.

The age, the scars...none of that should hold you back. You probably feel no confidence because of the weight. Plenty of heavy women do well with men, but you can take that weight off and feel better. One day at a time.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

The age, the scars...none of that should hold you back. You probably feel no confidence because of the weight. Plenty of heavy women do well with men, but you can take that weight off and feel better. One day at a time.

Thanks, TishaBuv! I appreciate your kind words.

[TishaBuv]

You can get the love you crave, Artchic. Have you limited yourself? Can't you take more control of your life? Is your disability physical or mental?

[LifeInProgress]

As a man dating a woman who has physical disabilities, is heavy, and has MI issues, I am very happy. I just want to say don't give up hope. She and I managed to find each other and fit very well together.

There are men out there who do not want the "picture perfect" fashion model type, but want a real woman, scars and all.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

You can get the love you crave, Artchic. Have you limited yourself? Can't you take more control of your life? Is your disability physical or mental?

It's mental. Cognitive I think.

Everyone around me is the limiting factor, not myself.

How would I even begin to take control?

I literally don't know how to meet anyone and advance the relationship, sexually or romantically. I've only had sex once and that was in 2012. I masturbate to fetish porn based around my kinks and fantasies, but honestly it is getting to the point where it's almost sad - I want to experience things real-hand, but I'm ashamed and don't see it happening ever. But of course I want more than all of that (besides, the romance outweighs sexual acts) - adventures, passion, evolving and learning together, etc. I'm not confident, shy & reserved and have a lack of motivation, sometimes not seeing the point or worth. I'm staying hopeful though. Sometimes maybe that's all we can do - I hope I didn't derail the thread too much, but I think at the end of the day good things are going to happen for all of us no matter what. Especially when we least expect it. Here's to the new year and may good things come your way, along with everyone else's

[TishaBuv]

Is the cognitive issue the limiting factor to why you only can work part time?

Maybe start by looking at what you do with yourself every day. You get driven to a job and picked up and taken home, I assume. Then what do you do at home all those hours?

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by lostbynovember

I literally don't know how to meet anyone and advance the relationship, sexually or romantically. I've only had sex once and that was in 2012. I masturbate to fetish porn based around my kinks and fantasies, but honestly it is getting to the point where it's almost sad - I want to experience things real-hand, but I'm ashamed and don't see it happening ever. But of course I want more than all of that (besides, the romance outweighs sexual acts) - adventures, passion, evolving and learning together, etc. I'm not confident, shy & reserved and have a lack of motivation, sometimes not seeing the point or worth. I'm staying hopeful though. Sometimes maybe that's all we can do - I hope I didn't derail the thread too much, but I think at the end of the day good things are going to happen for all of us no matter what. Especially when we least expect it. Here's to the new year and may good things come your way, along with everyone else's

Thanks for your input. I appreciate it. It looks like we are wanting the same things. I lost the whole "keeping hopeful" thing a long time ago. What's the point if I can't even get out when I want to? I feel so trapped. Like I'm in the world's deepest hole and I can't get out no matter how hard I try.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by lostbynovember

I literally don't know how to meet anyone and advance the relationship, sexually or romantically. I've only had sex once and that was in 2012. I masturbate to fetish porn based around my kinks and fantasies, but honestly it is getting to the point where it's almost sad - I want to experience things real-hand, but I'm ashamed and don't see it happening ever. But of course I want more than all of that (besides, the romance outweighs sexual acts) - adventures, passion, evolving and learning together, etc. I'm not confident, shy & reserved and have a lack of motivation, sometimes not seeing the point or worth. I'm staying hopeful though. Sometimes maybe that's all we can do - I hope I didn't derail the thread too much, but I think at the end of the day good things are going to happen for all of us no matter what. Especially when we least expect it. Here's to the new year and may good things come your way, along with everyone else's

You've come to the right place to get ideas on how to get what you want.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Is the cognitive issue the limiting factor to why you only can work part time?

Maybe start by looking at what you do with yourself every day. You get driven to a job and picked up and taken home, I assume. Then what do you do at home all those hours?

Well, right now I basically am cleaning up poop after two hyperactive puppies that my mom took in for fostering. Other than that, I try and do the basic things, like cooking for myself and trying to clean up after myself as well.

I also don't drive or avoid it mostly - I'm able to, but I really prefer not to. It has become very terrifying for me. I like to at night, but at the same time I don't really have anywhere to go or know where to go. I like bookstores and record shops, but I go very little and never meet anyone. I feel stuck also and my mental health doesn't help. I am in a very physical work situation that keeps me busy and tired. I know that's a bad excuse, but I'm exhausted a lot by the end of the day.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by lostbynovember

I also don't drive or avoid it mostly - I'm able to, but I really prefer not to. It has become very terrifying for me. I like to at night, but at the same time I don't really have anywhere to go or know where to go. I like bookstores and record shops, but I go very little and never meet anyone. I feel stuck also and my mental health doesn't help. I am in a very physical work situation that keeps me busy and tired. I know that's a bad excuse, but I'm exhausted a lot by the end of the day.

I like bookstores too, but since I can't drive I mostly just buy them online. I would like to go to the library but returning the books is a hassle given the rare opportunity I get to go to the closest ones.

If you want to talk about books, feel free to shoot me a PM anytime.

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

It's mental. Cognitive I think.

Everyone around me is the limiting factor, not myself.

How would I even begin to take control?

Have you been diagnosed by a doctor? Do you receive disability payments from the government? Have you ever been to a learning specialist to help you understand how to work with your disorder and find alternative ways of doing things? With the right treatment, you might be able to do a lot more than you think. What kind of work do you part time?

[Erebos]

Took six years out of dating after my ex left.(didn't so much as look a guy up and down.)
Gained 40lbs and definitely gave up, believe me I have a few undesirable issues that don't help with dating.
Six months ago I started going out for coffee with a guy I have known through gaming. ( yeah you heard me right, I still game even tho I am the wrong side of 35.)
Anyway point is we clicked, neither of us were looking. (He has his own sht going on.)
We just went for a coffee cos we happen ed to be in town the same day.
I think what I am saying is you can look too hard. Sometimes doing the stuff that makes you happiest brings what you need your way.

I would love to hear about the stuff that makes you happy Art, the stuff you do for you.