Sadism?

Hi. I am Adventurous, and I am new to this website. The reason I'm posting here is because whenever I see someone who sexually arouses me, I feel like I want them to suffer. Maybe as "punishment" for arousing me? I am really worried.

Depending on how strong this feeling is, does it override any other feelings, it is something you should probably explore with a specialist.
It could be their ability to influence your feelings/body, but as to the why, I think that may need further investigation.

My partner is a sadist....we should chat.

Hello Adventurous: I don't really know anything about sadism. However since this is your first post here on PC... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

What do you mean by "suffer"? Explain.

By suffer I mean anything that would cause them pain. I am really worried.

I would be worried if you're intentionally giving pain to someone who does not ask for it. And you're crossing the boundary of consent.
A sadist uses pain for their pleasure & certain tantric energies. Just as a masochist uses receiving pain for pleasure too.
But a sadist also practices great control & self awareness. Never getting lost in the energy that would cause suffering.
Do you wanto cause actual suffering to a person (mental, physical, sexual etc) or do you enjoy the pleasure of giving pain.

This is a tricky area that must be studied & handled properly or you will really hurt your partner....which I would think would be a masochistic & there needs to be a great deal of communication between the two people.
Research & read. Answer your basic questions of why, how etc before you start to worry.
A sadist is not a bad person!

Do you want to harm them, or just for them to be harmed by anything and by anyone? How do you view sex? I mean, do you resist or embrace it?

Ive never had sex before but i often feel this away about harming people in a sexual way.these thoughts are terrible. As they can almost be about anyone.i try not to think about. Them and say there evil thoughts.i feel guilt for having them but thought they were more related to ocd.

Why worried? There is nothing objectively wrong with being a sadist in and of itself. It's all about how you choose to deal with it.

So do you guys think that this has something to do with BDSM?

Are there therapists to help me with this kind of feeling?

I want to get rid of this sadistic feeling. Can I do that? Are there therapists who can help me get rid of this feeling?

Sorry, I posted the same thing two times.

Maybe talk to a sex therapist?

Is the sadistic feelings scaring you or giving you pleasure? Why do you wanto "get rid of this feeling?"

Scaring me. I want to stop feeling because it scares me and makes me feel like a bad person.

Hi Adventurous,

I can imagine it must be a scary feeling for you. I would suggest that you contact people in the BDSM community who will look at you as normally as we do, and will guide you in your practice and feelings in a safe & loving manner. Please do not berate yourself and seek out like minded people as soon as possible.

They will give you techniques of control and once you feel in control of your emotions all will be well.

Good Luck x

Just a quick question: Is sadism something all therapists are trained to take care of?

Lol!!! I'm not sure how they "get rid of" things.

Is the sadism based on anger? When you expose your sadism how does it make you feel?
The sadist I know tells me the high he gets from it is better than any drug he's ever had...& he's done his fair share. It also brings him great peace & clarity. I'm wondering what scares you?

And what have you read about this?
Can you dig a bit deeper as to why you wanto inflict pain? How would this make you feel? What reaction would you have from this? Where would it take you? There's more than just inflicting pain. Do you want pain inflicted as justice from something in your own life? If you could do this what feeling r you trying to release?
There's many different types of sadism too. Emotional, physical, predicament, psychological etc etc. Maybe you do need to talk to others that actually practice this fetish, safely & learn to work with your blocks instead of banning them.

Work with my blocks?

Are you saying that I don't need to stop my sadistic feelings?

It sounds, to me, that there is some reason why, a block, in your self or your feelings from society, that sadism is a bad thing. If you could unblock this energy flow, you might embrace the identity of being a sadist & find comfort in it.

Yes I'm saying you don't need to stop these feelings of sadism bec you have yet to explore them & understand them.
It just seems to me that you've told yourself that sadist=bad person.
Why is that?

You're likely into BDSM. There's a difference between pain and harm.
A bit of pain as a sensation mixed will pleasure is ok, ofc as long as it's consensual, eg. gentle bite, moderate whipping/spanking...
If you feel like inflicting injuries to your partner, then yes, you should seek professional help.

It's really difficult to tell, without knowing your history and such, whether your feelings of sadism are connected to erotic feelings, or if you are struggling with OCD. Either way, there's no reason to condemn yourself. I hope you'll talk to a therapist in order to get some clear perspective. Your feelings are certainly worth exploring with a professional.