Please help me! I want to last longer for my gf!

Hello everyone,

I'm new here and hoping to get some help with PE issues I've been having.

This is my story...

Growing up and hitting puberty I got clinically depressed. Because it was left untreated I shifted into a state of chronic dysthimia (a mild form of depression with basically no highs or lows in your life). To keep the story short, during this period my only stress release was masturbation and p 0 r n and I would rely on these tools frequently to help matters. I never had a girlfriend because of my state, so lasting long was never an issue. I always focused on the end game which was ejaculation. This obviously crippled me in the sense that I most certainly PE (I reach PONR in under a minute while masturbating).

This is my problem...

I recently met a girl I really care about. We got to know each other and I realized after spending a lot of time with her I would pre-cum just talking with her for the simplest of topics (non-sex related mostly) At a point we shared a bed and I went down on her many times successfully. Now when she tried to return the favor by giving me a handjob I almost instantly ejaculated after maybe half a minute. Another time we did 69 and while I thought I was getting use to her handjob ritual she turned it into a blowjob and I cam after maybe 5 blows. I almost didn't realize it until it was too late.

I've never had any prior experience with a woman and she obviously could tell that I was fast to ejaculate with her, however she was understanding and thought this will go away in time. She believes I just need to get use to these new sensations. I however am afraid this is not the case.

This is my goal...

We live at distance and I will be seeing her face to face in 2 months time from now. I would like to correct this issue if possible because I really care about her and I don't want her to think I am being selfish. I would like to last long in bed for sex including blowjobs. My goal for now is 10 minutes. I was thinking of investing in a Fleshlight STU or something similar and do some practice with exercises but I don't know where to start and I would really appreciate any advise I can get from you guys. The only thing I'm afraid of is that my case isirreparable right now and I need some hope that it's not.

Thanks in advance for all the help!

Some additional information...

1)I've never had intercourse before in my life

2)I'm circumcised. I've been told that this should reduce my sensitivity. If I cum in under 30 seconds with a blowjob what am I going to do with real intercourse which I've heard is much more stimulating? I'm terrified of the thought only...

Hi Elmo,

Welcome to PC! I feel bad because no one has responded to you and while I'm a woman and really can't relate, I do know that a LOT of young men have this issue. It's awesome though that she's being patient and understanding.

I have a couple of ideas for you. What if you were to masturbate right before you have sex with your GF? I would think that you could last longer if you had just ejaculated. You could just excuse yourself and go do it really quickly in the bathroom since you said that you can do it in less than a minute!

And if you have intercourse, I hope that you'd use a condom which should also lessen the sensitivity and protect her from pregnancy and protect you from possible STDs. In fact, maybe you could wear 2 condoms? That would definitely limit the sensitivity in your penis.

Another thing that I've heard is that guys will try to think about something non-sexual while they are having sex. Maybe think about changing a tire, lol!

Also, google PE as there is a ton of info available online.

I hope that one of these ideas works. GOOD LUCK!!

Just as an addition: the idea of wearing a condom is good. There are even special types that contain some chemicals that are supposed to numb the physical sensation such as "Trojan Extended Pleasure" or "Durex Performax".

However: NEVER use 2 condoms!!! The friction between them makes them likely to break them both!!!

If you are looking for additional safety to prevent a pregnancy, rather add anti-spermicide, diaphragm, etc., but never 2 condoms on top of each other.

I hope you'll try the condom with the numbing agent, but I hope you have better luck than I had. I was having trouble with PE just after I married, so I bought a tube of some gel that had the numbing effect. It worked all right, but it worked so well that I couldn't even get my penis erect. And it took so long for the effects to wear off that I had to forget having sex that night!

I agree with the idea of mastubating before u see your GF. Wasn't that in Something About Mary? Lol!
And yes there r condoms that have a desensing agent on them that might help.
But remember that sex starts between your ears. You stated that you "always focused on the end game." This needs to change. Focus on your GF & what you can do for her too. Maybe look into tantric sexual energy & how to refocus this energy to another part of your body.
You can also start to practice "edging" which will help with control.
Even though IMHO, sex is sensual in touch & feeling the biggest sex organ we have is our brain.
I hope some of the things mentioned on this thread helps you become more confident.

PS. Isn't 69 oral for both? Or am I behind on the times!

Patagonia's P.S. about 69 was gonna be my question .

I'm female so I don't know how it feels exactly for a man, but do know that it is more common for younger men. Maybe doing your thing alone before visiting your girlfriend will help. Ditto on the condoms.

At my age men have the opposite problem as in "oh my God, are you ever gonna get there? I have a cramp in my leg."

I think emla salve (a painkilling salve made up of lidocaine and prilocaine) can help. You need a prescription, though.