[Neverland18]

I honestly have no idea what is going on with me, or whether this is normal. I have a healthy sexual drive, but I don't find myself attracted to anyone. So I know I want to have sex, but I just don't get turned on by anyone. Even in my previous relationships k wasn't sexually attracted to my partner. I thought maybe I was asexual, but some sites say that's just a lack of sexual attraction, and other that it's also a lack of sexual drive. Any clue as to what's up with me?

[Skeezyks]

Hello Neverland: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to PsychCentral. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I'm sorry I don't really know what to tell you with regard to your concern. Perhaps there will be other members, here on PC, who will have some thoughts on the subject. Here's a link to an article, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of asexuality that provides links to a couple of other sources of information as well:

Asexuality Arrives | Single at Heart

[eldub]

Originally Posted by Neverland18

I honestly have no idea what is going on with me, or whether this is normal. I have a healthy sexual drive, but I don't find myself attracted to anyone. So I know I want to have sex, but I just don't get turned on by anyone

Hey, tbh I don't know much at all and am also new on the site

Firstly, though I know nothing about which label you would put that under I think it's normal. From my experiences there is NO normal when it comes to sex, though religions have tried to instill certain values and from a reproductivity standpoint there are certain procedures that we'd deem correct mating, there is no right or wrong (of course unless it involves malicious or damaging behaviour to others).

I have a friend who has a healthy sex drive but she claims individuals don't turn her on, the actual engaging in intercourse arouses/stimulates her.

For myself I have been attracted to some individuals, but more in a way "I want to be friends with them" not sexual attraction. (I'm trying to figure out my own problems of being aroused by shame so I'm not sure this would be accurate or of help lol).

I want to share a link but cant as I'm new, I did a quick google search of "high sex drive no sexual attraction" and read some of the questions at the top.

Although the questions asked had some differences to yours the terms aromantic and grey-sexual came up as I was glancing through one, perhaps that might be something to read into?

Hope this helps

[purplegiraffe1]

Asexual means that you don't experience sexual attraction to anyone. Some asexuals don't want sex (like myself), but there are also plenty of asexuals I know that DO want to have sex and their sex drive is very high, but they just aren't ever attracted to anyone sexually speaking. Those asexuals are still asexual, and just as valid as people like myself who also happen to lack a sex drive. Hope this helps!

[romantic rose]

Thanks for posting this. I am interested in the topic, as I have read that asexual people have fantasies/things that turn them on but they are not necessarily people in themselves, and I feel sometimes that applies to me. I imagine there are certain porn movies that could 'get me off', i.e. certain scenarios that might come up in such films, but I am so used to personal clitoral stimulation and 'doing it myself', that the idea of doing it with someone else seems strange and I certainly have never got very aroused during intercourse or even someone else stimulating me clitorally unless I focus on something that turns me on, rather than another person or any aspect/part of them.

Of course I also wonder if I am a lesbian, so having never been with a woman, it could just be that I have never been with the 'right' partner, but I have never fantasised about women or being with one either. I just find certain female body parts attractive to look at, but have no urge to pleasure myself when looking at them or anything like that. Whether that is considered 'the norm' (whatever that is) for lesbians or not, I don't know, although I don't think there is a 'normal' as far as any 'type' of sexuality goes.