Asexual?

So often I have heard asexual tell me because of my history of being abused I can't be Asexual? Well how is this okay? I feel really alone. I never had any interest or desire to have sex with male or female. I do have a interest in the emotional side of a relationship if I was ever to find the right person maybe holding hands etc but nothing more. I had relationships go south in the past because I was unable to give them everything non asexuals can despite my trying I am i suppose to a degree fearful even angry at the idea of having sex. I was so young at the time the abuse started I can't say either way then what would of happened. I am fearful of men it takes me a lot any more now to even start to trust a man but in my heart I hope someday I do find the right person.

hey hmm, i dont know if you're still on this site but i'd like to say dont listen to those people, you're asexuality is valid <3 dating a non-asexual person bring us insecurities and with a past abuse must be even harder, im sorry for what happened
but i'm sure someday you'll find someone who is understanding and you'll work it out
dont lose hope ^^

You most DEFINITELY can be asexual and have had prior abuse. I know, because I was abused on multiple occaisons and I was asexual before the abuse and am still just as ace (abbreviation for asexual) as I was before everything happened. In fact, i've even heard of other asexuals being abused in order to "correct" their asexuality.

Perhaps you're already familiar with this. But just in case not... here's a link to the Asexual Visibility & Education Network website:

Forums - Asexual Visibility and Education Network

Hope you're still stopping by here on PC from time-to-time as well...

I'd say validate both sides is probably what is happening anyway.

Perhaps find a guy who is completely understanding what you went through and what kind of problems you are dealing with. Perhaps your future boyfriend will be appreciative and supportive and wait til you are ACTUALLY ready. You are the only one who decides to put out because it's your heart and body. If you feel not ready then don't do it. It's not your fault if you get upset about it. Don't let any abuse feelings get in the way of what you experienced. Let those feelings go away and think of the better stuff. Perhaps there will be a man who is totally understanding and will never beg or have a one track mind and complain about it. After all this is a big world after all. You could always go to church. Those are good gentlemens in there. Even in the outside world. You just gotta be smart who you meet. Good Luck!