Virginity

Hello,
I have seen one somewhere on here but can't find the thread.
Is anyone on here dealing with adult virginity. ?
Its effecting my entire life now and my mental health.
No woman will even date me and there is nothing wrong with me.
Im always the nice guy (there words) and no Profesional seems to know anything.

I had been dealing with this until the day I got married.

I blame my Catholic upbringing, which taught me that sex was dirty and sinful. But also probably I had/have a touch of autism, so I don't "connect" with women.

Here's an important question: Why do you want to date women? Is it because you believe you're supposed to?

Well I'm not gay regardless of what my friends say.

Its how we are built. It's the feeling of being human. To love and to procreate. To continue the species. It in everything that we are. It's the feeling of being loved and to love.
Your question is a bit confusing.

I'm trying to find out if you want to date because that's what society (or family members) expect you to do.

Or have you encountered women whom you've longed for and desired a deeper connection with?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to confuse you!

Honestly you do have me confused.
Your question dosnt make science at all so I'm trying to understand it.
May be you just dont have these feelings??
Being human naturally meens to date to love and be loved. To procreate and continue the family name and the species and humans are not made to be alone.
Your going to have to rephrase the question.

Hi totally.
Are you just wanting to have sex, for the pleasure of the act, or like you mentioned about humans, you want the whole package, love, procreation, etc?

I am sorry. I saw your other posts, I am sorry you are suffering.

I can ensure you that women do like nice guys. Usually women who are a bit older and appreciate things more or women who are looking for something more serious. Sure some women do like bad boys, so to speak, and don’t appreciate wholesome life, but it’s not everyone!

Now let me ask you. Are you having troubles with friendships or simple companionships with people of both genders too? Just hanging out? I am trying to understand if your difficulty is in general connecting with people (in real world) or just romantically?

I’m curious, what is it that makes you a “nice guy”? Do you know what women mean when they say it? Do you think you fit their description?

Hey I guess this is how I reply..
The only thing I can say is my sick of being all alone all the time. I want someone to love and I want to have someone to love me. So I want it all but I can't get passed the talking stage.
Sex...if I wanted sex I could hire someone for that. Call girls are all over. I don't just want sex. Workers are just pretend and I want the real thing.

Hi reptile I want the hole pakage.
I want to be loved and I want to love.
It just seems women don't want to teach someone who is old enuff and should know enuff to get them threw. Since no woman has ever said yes to me before now that I'm older I can't get anything.
Women don't want me for that reason so I'm screwed.

I think I do however if I could get a woman to talk to me I could figure it out more. What I think is a nice guy is someone who will love them respect them help them in times of need. I'm not afraid to help friends with anything I know how to do.(and that is alot) what women think is not always what men think so like I said if I could get one to talk to me longer I might be able to figure it out more.

In what context have you met women, apps, hobbies, work, or when you are out and about?
What kind of women do you find interesting? What kind of personality do you think would be a good match for you?
What are some of the things you would talk about with women?

It's romantically...
Nothing i try can get a woman to be interested.
I can sit and talk for hours but it just seems like they always have better options.
I'm 58...43 years I've been trying to find someone and they just never say yes.
I'm toaly confused.
Everyone finds someone except me.
I'm very likeable you could ask any of them. I'm just not for them.

These blanket statements may be holding you back If you've internalized them. The goal of Cognitive Behavior Therapy is to be aware of such self-defeating thoughts and reframe them and challenge them. But maybe you're just describing your situation.

Also I don't really need my question answered; your response was answer enough.

All I know is that im all screwed up. No matter what I try it dosnt work. After all these years I'm just so screwed up because I've tryed all of it.
Therapists...psychologists...psychiatrists never listen to me and they won't see the problum. If they don't see it they won't fix it. There to caught up in there own superiority to look and see my problum is not what they think. My depression..anxiety...fear of rejection all of it can be fixed and has been before but they just keep saying work on this or work on that. There not wrong but they fix the issue and send me back out into a society that just dosnt seem to want me. The problum must be with the way I act or something I do but they won't get to know me on a personal level so they never look to see the problum.

Instead of using psych professionals who have not been helpful, why don't you take drama classes? You might learn better ways to act and express yourself and you will meet interesting people, killing two birds at once

I think that's good advice @Tart Cherry Jam, because I find that people respond well to me when I act like a "normal person."

Now I'm reminded about a book that helped me when I was a young adult. But not reminded well enough because I can't think of the title. Maybe "Connections"?

Acting has been known to make stuttering disappear when actors were on stage. It returned when actors went back to their regular lives, but on stage, it was nothing short of miraculous. Apparently, singing does that, too

I thought I still had that book, even though I bought it over forty years ago. It seems it might be called "Making Contact: A Guide to Overcoming Shyness."

Its all so confusing.
I have no interest in learning how to act. Actors lie for a living.
I just want to be someone who is real. I want to be me.
What would they think of me if I start out by lieing and then find out I'm not who I say I am.
That would be a big turn off wouldn't it.
I just want to be me.

Seems like it would be a good book but I'm not a shy person.
I can talk to any one at any time anywhere.
I might be a bit quiet if I don't know about a topic but then I listen and take it all in.

I don't think the idea is to "lie for a living," but just take a local class to be more aware of your body language and learn to control it to display how you want to come across (which you can use to lie in a way, but don't have to), build confidence, meet people, learn new ways to express yourself, allow yourself a creative outlet, develop an understanding of others, etc.

I would not say that acting is akin to telling lies.

And in your case, such classes can help you inhabit YOU and present YOU in the best possible light. If you approach it with an open mind and not as a class in telling lies,...why not? Clearly what has been tried so far has not worked, so it is appropriate at this juncture to expand your horizons.

Exactly. Could not be better put