TRIGGER ...

so.. this question comes from a dark place as im dealing with lots of stuff from my life and childhood, but i wondered .. What makes a person a *****?

I am never satisfied with answers that are easy so I figured there has to be some answer other than nobody is one. If you don't know what criteria makes somone one, how could you know you arent one?

[salukigirl]

i dont think there is such a thing. when guys sleep with a lot of women theyre awesome. but when women sleep with a bunch of men theyre *****s. whats the big deal with having sex when you want with who you want as long as youre safe? it really bugs me that we are damned if we do damned if we dont. if we have sex, were *****s. if we don't then were a tease. how much bull is that?

if youre not satisfied with that answer then i say whatever youre own personal belief is. to extremely religious people, having sex with one person outside of marriage could make you a *****. get what i mean?

[youOme]

I think you're a *****, like legitamitely, if you sell sex.

[snowflake_48888]

My idea is from the older times. Growing up if you slept with different men then you were considered a *****. I think at that time society set the standard. As I have become older I have formed my own opinion. I usually question the motive behind the action. Many people looked down on me because I have had more than 3 sexual partners since my husbands death but I don't consider myself a *****.
Snowy

[Rhapsody]

This is the understanding I have of it.......

A ***** gets paid to have sex - and - a slut sleeps around with any thing and every thing..... with no concern to how it effects others.

[jattitude74]

[Perna]

I think it's a label or definition someone else gives one and I don't take defining from outside.

I wouldn't refer to any woman by that label since I am not that woman and can't know what she is doing or her reasons for doing it and it's not my business. It's a wholly negative word and I don't believe anyone is wholly negative or all one characteristic. Even someone labeled a "depressive" or BPD has several criteria, some depth to them. But ***** doesn't go with much; I'm not putting ***** and mother together or wife and ***** or daughter and *****. . . they don't go in my mind. So, if you get a mother or wife or daughter (or any other "normal" role for a woman) then that negates the other for me.

[LMo]

I agree with Perna - to call a woman a ***** or a slut or anything of the sort is horribly judgmental. There is absolutely nothing positive that can come from a label like that.

[Rhapsody]

We can always us the word "Prostitute" if the word "*****" upsets any one - - - but please do keep in mind that no matter what we call it - it is still referred to as a woman that takes money for sex.

[youOme]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

A ***** gets paid to have sex - and - a slut sleeps around with any thing and every thing..... with no concern to how it effects others.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I agree

[Cyran0]

I'd say that historically the terms slut, ***** and tease have been used by men to manipulate the sexual activities of women. The terms are an easy way to throw up a societal yardstick and tell a girl she doesn't measure up. A handy tactic if you're trying to make someone behave a certain way.

In the end though, the technical definition of a ***** is someone who trades sex for some sort of gain (usually financial).

Cyran0

[Raynaadi]

This thread is sticky. I don't really know what say to keep on track lol. I think the actual definitions of the word are good. Anything else is just name calling.

[salukigirl]

i agree with cyran0. its just a device used by men to control the sexuality of women. goes back to the other post about men needing to have sexuality to equalize them to women. we do everything and are superwoman for the most part. if we control who we sleep with and dont feel bad about it, theyre not in control of us anymore.

[perpetuallysad]

I agree with the consensus here; nothing makes a person a ***** or a slut. I've had sex when I wanted to and didn't when I didn't want to. I don't think it really matters as long as your are using free will when do or don't.

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
perpetuallysad said:
I agree with the consensus here; nothing makes a person a ***** or a slut.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Just wondering......... nothing else meant by this question - just wondering.

Then are there no such things as a Prostitutes?
- for the word ***** is just a more modern word (or slang word) used for a lady of the night.

thanks for your thoughts everyone

[bebop]

this is taken out of the dictionary.

***** - a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money

im thinking.. everyone trades sex for something.

Love, attention, security, partnership, what makes money special.

[Cyran0]

Actually Esther, as a guy I find I trade just about everything for sex and not the other way around.

Maybe this is a fundamental difference between men and women. For men, sex is often the ultimate goal and not a means to something else. For women things like a good relationship are the goal and sex is a perk along the way?

This is, of course, black and white thinking and I know it wouldn't hold true without many exceptions. Also, none of this is to discount women's interest in/enjoyment of sex. But my gut says there's some truth to this.

Cyran0

[AAAAA]

Ok, so I’m going to climb on my soap box a little bit . I HATE these terms, they are designed just to hurt people.

My eldest niece lead a very sheltered life growing up she was a book worm and never dated in high school. When she started college and was living on her own there was a big deal made about the amount of boys that she was sleeping with.

I was amazed that her great-grandmother, my grandmother, who had not one but TWO kids out of wedlock with the same man in the 50’s when that was not done, and got pregnant again by the biggest *** that has ever walked the face of the earth and married him because she was pregnant. He was not nice to her children, my mother and my Aunt. This woman felt it was acceptable to pass judgment on her granddaughter. I was so angry. She was not saying “hey, I made a mistake, I really don’t want you to make the same.” She was passing judgment. I was able to shut her up with one question, “how did grandpa P feel about Bobby?” I was going to be damned if she made that little girl (to me she is) cry while reinventing her own history!

I told her, and my own kids this: It is my opinion that a female should not be held to a different standard than a man. If you want to sleep with someone do it. Keep in mind that casual sex is dangerous and not very fulfilling. Never agree because it’s easier than refusing, ALWAYS use a condom and if he’s in another relationship and is willing to cheat on her, then he’ll cheat on you. If he’s not willing to wait until you’re ready then he’s not worth your time. If he has kids, ask him what the last thing he did with them was and when. If he doesn’t remember than don’t expect him to treat you better than his own kids. You’ll never find a long term relationship with someone you meet in a bar.

Calling someone a prostitute and someone a ***** are two different things. ***** is an insult, prostitution is a job. I am amazed that in this day and age we still care about other people’s sex life.

[AAAAA]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
esthersvirtue said:
im thinking.. everyone trades sex for something.

Love, attention, security, partnership, what makes money special.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

EXACTLY!!!!!

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
esthersvirtue said:
im thinking.. everyone trades sex for something.

Love, attention, security, partnership, what makes money special.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I personally do not see the sex I have been sharing with the same man for the last twenty-five years as a trade off....... but rather as a wonderful bonus that comes with finding love.

IMO....... Money for Sex is NOT Special - it is degrading and harmful when traded for sex - that which was meant to be shared with in a loving relationship.

[AAAAA]

Rhapsody think of the first time you had sex with this man of 25 years.

In the beginning, most of the time, females trade sex for affection and men trade affection for sex. I had no idea at the time that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him.

The women that I've known in rl and spoken to about sex, every single one of us has had sex when we really didn't want to because it was easier than saying no. Something that I hope I've been able to change with my own children and nieces and nephews.

I agree that the only truly fullfilling sex takes place in a committed relationship, and I truly hope and pray that is the only sexual experiences my children have.

That being said, I have no objection to prostitution, Las Vegas tests their prostitutes and makes it as healthy as possible. And if the woman is profitting rather than a pimp I say the more power to her.

[ziggy1]

This is the definition from the merriam websters dictionary:

1: a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : prostitute; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman

2: a male who engages in sexual acts for money

3: a venal or unscrupulous person

So here we got 3 Different definitions.....?

So a Pedophile is a ***** they are unscrupulous.....

Or have I misunderstood.