Duality

I feel like two people at times. Two people who rarely get along. I guess what I am having is sexual identity issues. For a while I've been identifying as gay/bi but cloeseted from my family (who may know or not know, idk). I've never really accepted all this because I don't know if it is me or things that happened to me as a kid, so it makes it even difficult for me to be in my own skin. I've got this overwhelming urge to be normal or what society says is normal, and to carry out the normal plan of get married, have kids, rinse and repeat.

But recently one of my good friends, she just got a new b/f, and I think that when this happened, I finally realized what it felt like to really love someone. She was around/lived with me while I had my b/f so she knows about me....

This is a whole lot more complicated if you had my whole story, but that would be a book up here. Although its probably not as complicated as I perceive it to be.

Ok, calmed down from yesterday, I just get things spinning pretty fast in the brain and get stressed out.

So for more of a detail and not a venting of frustration or cry for help.

So this girl is great because we get along really well, and she is pretty, so that helps. She knows about me and my dark secrets, and yet is still around me. I get along great with her mom and dad. I guess that is where it is nice being best friends, but that's part of the thing I don't want to do anything to ruin that great friendship. Although she has mentioned to me before "Why don't we just date?" and I couldn't say anything, and that made her feel a little embarrassed.

Its not that I am opposed to having a girlfriend, its just been so long about 5 years, and having all these people label me. All the people labeling me isn't a multitude of people, just people who I consider to be friends. Well I guess if they are true friends they would understand. I just don't like people talking behind my back like "he can't make up his mind on what he wants" or just not taking me seriously.

<font color="purple"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))) </font>

If y ou have any questions just PM me

Hmm, seems that I need to post a few more times to be able to PM, but thanks for being an open heart/mind.

well it seems like people are always getting labels weather we want them or not if it is true love then it is meant to be

Love is love and you shouldn't be ashamed..i learned that.. I nevered really liked boys/men...but pushed myself to date them because i didnt want to be diffrent...but after a few dates... i met this girl that changed my life...not so much her..but being with her...It made me realize that i need to be who i am in order to be happy....i do not regret any thing...it has been hard but now i am with this lovely young women that i love beyond any thing...You will find the right person..and you will know when you do..wether it be a man or a women..Do not let others label you..it isnt about being gay or bi or any thing else it is about being in love...

Take this as advice from the other side. I am guy and dated a guy who can't accept who he is. Yes, all gay men think women are beautiful but being gay isn't about the act of sex. I think you should just take time for yourself to figure it al out and not involve a girl or guy in this. It is very detrimental to the other person, especially when love or hearts get involved.

DSVirginia82