Not WANTING sleep

4:30am, I was bored a long time ago... running out of ways to distract myself from sleep. I'm looking for something, anything to keep me awake. I don't want to sleep. I know this is a losing fight and it really sucks because I know in the end I will never be able to always be awake.

Let me clarify: this isn't because I can't sleep. I can and when I do I really enjoy it. Lately I've just found the idea of sleeping and going to sleep really unpleasant. The only way I can describe it as little kids whining about how they aren't tired and don't want to go to bed even when you know they are tired.

It's weird, isn't it?

It's not for any particular reason that I know of. People have described not wanting to sleep because they "don't want to miss anything" if I think about it this seems most likely even though I'm not missing anything at all. In fact I'm missing MORE since I end up sleeping half the day (and I get frustrated thinking about all the time I'm really wasting...) Another factor I think is that going to bed can be frightening because it's triggering. The only weird thing about that is that it's not necessarily scary to think about. Oh sure I'm scared at the time but thinking about it right now doesn't fill be with any particular fright. I think it's half of both.

There is one plus side though... every morning I get to hear the birds sing in the morning. Even when it's raining, they are singing. It's quite lovely.

Hello Kaika! I often fight sleep when I know we are tired, and we are not certain why either. We had not thought about going to bed being triggering...we will have to consider this. Maybe you could sleep elsewhere? On the couch, or in a chair? When I know we simply must sleep, I will let ourselves fall asleep wherever we are when we begin to get sleepy. I can become very frustrated when we feel we are missing out on things by needing to sleep.
Thank you for sharing this! ~Ivy

Hey guys,

Yip I am a big sleep fighter and I have no idea

Before I became ill I was on a few alcohol all nighter's and most of my friends were zonked out snoozing and I was high as a kite. Other times I am just tired but don't want to sleep. Likewise I wouldn't miss a thing as I lived in a flat with my flat mate who is a colleague from work. I have no idea