Sorta funny yet disturbing dream

I dreamt I was in college and just moved into a dorm room, and there were 3 beds there, just one other roommate. She had a normal sized bed and despite there not being a third roomie my bed, I noticed, was significantly smaller. I was disconcerted and yet it felt nirmal that I should get the small bed.
It's kinda funny cuz it made me feel like the little bear on Goldilocks lol, but when I woke up, I was unbearably (pun not entirely intended) unbearably sad.

I've recently been diagnosed with complex ptsd, OCD, and depression and things aren't going well if that matters, my dr prescribed an rx my insurance is holding up on and so all I've had is Xanax at about three times the recommended dosage. I spent 48 hours on the bed about this weekend after semi od-ing on Xanax with alcohol. Life is hopeless at the moment, I'm like a dead person going thru the motions. Pardon my honesty.
I'm also struggling with intense rage at at least one person known to me who has thanked me for my friendship with years and years of backstBbing. I mean life altering backstabbing, the kind that ruins lives. I'm almost having homicidal thoughts of revenge and the thing is, I'm enjoying my rage, which is really not usually how I am. I'm enjoying hating this person. But my dream didn't reflect my hate, just a sense of loss.

The small bed represent your addictions. It is Un"Bear"able. spending 48hrs. in bed, due substance abuse, it definatly is not good for you.

I don't have substance abuse issues, tho I have self medicated with booze in the past. Or T least I don't think I do. That was like my 3rd bit if alcohol in 6 weeks. Went overboard for sure.
Not sure how you tied the two together? There was no drinking in the dream. Xanax us brand new to me, like 3 weeks. I hate needing it and also hate it. It worked about a week now nothing. Just got my "big" med...

I just want to know why the little bed made me feel so sad and insignificNt. I appreciate your try, but it didn't resonate at all.

I don't know about the dream, but as far as your life, that hate and rage is usually unresolved fear or deep, deep hurt. Maybe the little bed represents how life has shortchanged you; how unfairly you've been treated. Some people have gotten love and support and and you didn't. After all a bed does support you and make you comfortable so you can relax. If you have complex ptsd you probably are always anxious because your body and mind were taught to be. Not onlhy were you not suported, you were abused. Welcome to PC. I wish you healing. May angels surrounded you. Check out the ptsd forum. Your among friends that care and support you here. This is a safe place.