[Fightharder]

Hi
I'm writing you in this forum because I'm lost, I have a husband who love me so much and a puppy that I love more than my self, but I'm passing a difficult situation ... For 2 years I suffered been mobbed in my work, nobody couldn't help me. Of course, I lost my job. I'm trying to start a demand against my ex supervisor, but the things are progressing slowly. Now that I'm jobless and since two years ago I have suffered from insomnia, always waking up between 3ams and 5am. The accupunturist told me that's because my liver and lungs that I wake up, that I have anger and sadness. Accupunture is slow and I'm still sufferin waking up. I'm trying valerian oil to see if that helps. I stopped using Advil and Tylenol PM, because I took them for almost 1 year and a half. Indeed as the accupunturist said, I'm still angry and sad because in my previous work nobody helped me, even I was suffering from mobbing and I just was targeted without do anything to deserve that. Hopefully my demand progress
In the meantime along those 2 years I become a different person that I used to be, I was energetic, sleep a lot, just to be playful person with my husband, I love my puppy, so seen my puppy helped me to feel better, I just to play with him too.i used to meditated and this helped me also. I had an injury ( because the stress I had in my work) that took me 1 year and a half to heal, so a stopped running because that.
Now because this insomnia I don't have energy to play with my husband, with my puppy, barely some days run and do exercise. I forgot who I used to be, my husband is sad and worry and I feel shame on because my puppy been so cute, I can't enjoyed enough. I'm losing precious time of my life because this insomnia, friends and readings suggest I forgive to let go angryness and sadness, to fully recover. But I don't feel I can do that. I don't meditate anymore. Sometimes when I think in the person I became. I cry, I didn't ask for this. I don't feel passion for the job I used to do. Im fragile and vulnerable, and I dont like that, I'm not like that
Please help, I really need to sleep well to have energy to recover my self, my life, make happy my husband and puppy, do exercise and enjoy it that is part of my identity, have clearity about if I'm going to do the same job or make a change
My self confidence is smashed, my confidence and positivity became dust. I don't believe in me and others, in life. I know life is beatiful, I'm a blessed person, but the lack of energy, because don't sleep is like a demon, don't let me appreciate how blessed I am, even I know I'm blessed
.... Thanks

[Skeezyks]

Hello Fightharder: The short answer here, from the Skeezyks' perspective, is that you need to talk all of this through at length, presumably with a mental health therapist. I don't know if you're currently seeing a therapist or not. If you're not, you probably should be. If you are, either additional time is going to be needed to work through all of this, or you're not seeing the right therapist for you.

There's no easy answer to any of this that I'm aware of. It's simply going to take a lot of hard therapeutic work, over a period of time, to get to the point where you can recover. And the reality of the situation may well be that you simply cannot go back to being the person you used to be. However, you can, hopefully become a new person who is kind-of a combination of who you were & who you are now. This new person may never be who you used to be. But she can, at least in some ways perhaps, be better... wiser & more mature. I wish you well...

[Fightharder]

Thanks for your words and advise. There are all lot of wise words in what you said
High probably I will not be the same person I used to be. Hopefully in that combination good things come out because I have learned a lot about this. I will go to visit a clinic for sleep, is a medical center to treat insomnia and I will continue with the acupuncture. Recover my sleep is my priority. I haven't thought in a therapist, I don't trust of them. But I will try to find one with whom I can feel comfortable. I will do all I can do to move from this swamp. I'm hurting my love ones, I know as you said is going to be a long way of hard work, but my love ones deserved it, I'm deserved it and if is the correct path to take, I will do. I really really appreciate your words. Thanks so much

[yugh]

Hi,
In addition to Skeezyks perspective, which I agree with, I've found that the two best ways to reconnect with oneself are free but hard to do...meditation and dream journalling.

For the first 50 years of my life, I stopped and started meditations several times, in effect going nowhere in a hurry. Then I had a near death experience that changed me. About 3 years later, I made it my intention to meditate each and every day. So I joined several different meditation and spiritual circles.

I found out that there are many different ways to meditate. In my past, I had been trying to not have any thoughts in my meditations. Imagine my surprise when i learnt that over the thousands of years, people had learnt to not do this. Instead, they learnt that by keeping the conscious mind occupied, it allowed their inner souls to "rise". The old hindi's did this by contorting their bodies, focussing the conscious mind on the body - today it's called yoga.

Buddhists do meditations by chanting a sound "OM" which again occupies the conscious mind. My research then lead me on a wonderful journey where I discovered many, many different ways to meditate.

I have put these up on a free website "learningfrommydreams" dot com. Look under the meditation tab and there you'll find many different ways to meditate.

My suggestion is to take 0-15 minutes a day and do this. In the beginning, do it at the same time to get into a schedule/habit. Don't worry if you fall asleep. It's your persistent intent that's important.

The other powerful tool is keeping a dream journal. This is initially hard to do because when a person wakes up...poof go the dreams. So my suggestion is as follows:

* Before you go to sleep each night ask your spiritual guides for assistance
* Tell yourself you are going to recall your dreams
* When you wake up in the middle of the night to pee or in the morning, before you move around in your bed, try to recall a dream.

At first, you might recall nothing or a dream fragment. Don't get discouraged. Write down anything you can recall, no matter how trivial it might seem.

With a persistent attempt, you will find yourself recalling a dream scene, then multiple scenes and then multiple dreams. So then what do you do?

In my own case, I was having dreams with all sorts of people I didn't know and people I knew but they were doing strange things. If I tried to literally interpret a dream it usually didn't make any sense.

By then, I was having deep meditations and was able to touch my higher self. You will definitely know when this occurs. So one day, I had an idea to use my higher self to interpret my dreams. Then the dream gates in effect swung wide open.

i was slowly able to understand who was who in my dreams and the extensive use of symbols for all parts of a dream.

Regarding dreams, I still feel like a little toddler just learning to stand up and wandering around touching things trying to figure out what they are and mean. What I feel i know about dreams is akin to less than a teaspoon of water as compared to all the oceans' water, i.e. not much.

However, about a year and a half ago, I felt compelled to put up what I've learnt on a website. This is what learningfrommydreams is about.

Your intent is a VERY POWERFUL TOOL. If you use it, you can put yourself on a very exciting and revealing path. I will leave you with this personal story to give you an idea of what possibly lies ahead of you if you decide to go down these paths.

I went to a meditation circle, a number of years ago, in the middle of a great autumn storm. I made the effort to go and found only 3-4 of us who showed up. We decided to meditate together and share at the end.

When I finished, I felt a presence. It showed itself to me as a premature baby boy. I then turned to the woman sitting beside me and asked if I could give her a message. All that I knew about her was that she was Jewish, a teacher and had two late teenage children. She said yes.

I then asked her is she had miscarried a baby boy? She said yes. And then, the most wonderful thing occurred…

The baby boy turned into a man and sent pure love through me. It was a feeling words can’t describe. It only lasted a fraction of a second but it went to the very core of who I am.

I broke out into tears. The woman also began to cry. The man told me that he was always beside his mother. She told me another medium had brought him through before but she was so happy to hear from him. I am teary once again as I write this.

That man was a teacher for me. He was letting me know that we carefully select our incarnations beforehand. It is not the length of time that is important in each of our lives, it is the decisions we make each moment that is important.

When one has experiences like this they are there in moments of sorrow ad doubt to remind ourselves of who we are...beings of pure love.

I'll end this reply with some comments by an entity named Silver Birch who channeled through a man called Maurice Barbanelle in the 1900's:

"Life is always a polarity. If there were no darkness there would be no light. If there were no trouble there could never be any peace. If the sun always shone you would not appreciate it. You have to learn sometimes through conditions that seem a nuisance. One day you will look back and say, "We learned our best lessons not when the sun was shining, but when the storm was at its greatest, when the thunder roared, the lightning flashed, the clouds obscured the sun and all seemed dark and hopeless". It is only when the soul is in adversity that some of its greatest possibilities can be realised."

"If you knock on a door and it does not open, do not push. If you push the door gently and it opens, that is for you. You cannot go through a closed door. Too many people in your world waste time and effort banging at closed doors."

"Pain and suffering are regarded as miseries; they are not. They have divine parts to play in the evolution of the individual."

"Learn to be free. Do not imprison yourself. Do not hedge yourself around and refuse to allow new inspiration to come to you. Truth is a constant search. Its boundaries are ever widening, for as the soul evolves the mind responds."

With kind regards,
Guy

Originally Posted by Fightharder

Hi
I'm writing you in this forum because I'm lost, I have a husband who love me so much and a puppy that I love more than my self, but I'm passing a difficult situation ... For 2 years I suffered been mobbed in my work, nobody couldn't help me. Of course, I lost my job. I'm trying to start a demand against my ex supervisor, but the things are progressing slowly. Now that I'm jobless and since two years ago I have suffered from insomnia, always waking up between 3ams and 5am. The accupunturist told me that's because my liver and lungs that I wake up, that I have anger and sadness. Accupunture is slow and I'm still sufferin waking up. I'm trying valerian oil to see if that helps. I stopped using Advil and Tylenol PM, because I took them for almost 1 year and a half. Indeed as the accupunturist said, I'm still angry and sad because in my previous work nobody helped me, even I was suffering from mobbing and I just was targeted without do anything to deserve that. Hopefully my demand progress
In the meantime along those 2 years I become a different person that I used to be, I was energetic, sleep a lot, just to be playful person with my husband, I love my puppy, so seen my puppy helped me to feel better, I just to play with him too.i used to meditated and this helped me also. I had an injury ( because the stress I had in my work) that took me 1 year and a half to heal, so a stopped running because that.
Now because this insomnia I don't have energy to play with my husband, with my puppy, barely some days run and do exercise. I forgot who I used to be, my husband is sad and worry and I feel shame on because my puppy been so cute, I can't enjoyed enough. I'm losing precious time of my life because this insomnia, friends and readings suggest I forgive to let go angryness and sadness, to fully recover. But I don't feel I can do that. I don't meditate anymore. Sometimes when I think in the person I became. I cry, I didn't ask for this. I don't feel passion for the job I used to do. Im fragile and vulnerable, and I dont like that, I'm not like that
Please help, I really need to sleep well to have energy to recover my self, my life, make happy my husband and puppy, do exercise and enjoy it that is part of my identity, have clearity about if I'm going to do the same job or make a change
My self confidence is smashed, my confidence and positivity became dust. I don't believe in me and others, in life. I know life is beatiful, I'm a blessed person, but the lack of energy, because don't sleep is like a demon, don't let me appreciate how blessed I am, even I know I'm blessed
.... Thanks